How to survive the Zombie Apocalypse

[Danjanou]

I'm staying with this vespa and a trailor full of flechette rounds  >

 

[Devo3733]

Zombie Apocalypse survival isn't easy to plan for when you live right downtown in Calgary.  Fortunately I'm all of 2 blocks from the river so bug out plans involve all my supplies and an inflatable raft to GTFO the city.  Hold up for a few days comfortably with my 72 hour kit, see what's going on (third floor apartment with a view of most of downtown, telescope, etc.) And if things get particularly ugly pack up and head out of town at night and raft it out.  Winter of course complicates things out in the woods, but on the flipside zombie popsicles aren't too dangerous!
I'm more worried about living people if things ever go right sideways.  Zombies can't shoot you for a bottle of water...
 

 

[Sythen]

http://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/baird-canada-will-never-be-a-safe-haven-for-zombies-1.1155526

Baird: Canada will never be a safe haven for zombies


OTTAWA - Zombies on Parliament Hill have long been the bane of those who watch Canadian politics.

Now, in a case of life imitating art, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird is assuring the House of Commons that Canada remains a zombie-free zone.

The odd exchange came during today's daily question period when NDP MP Pat Martin asked a tongue-in-cheek question about Quebec emergency preparedness plans premised on a zombie movie scenario.



Read more: http://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/baird-canada-will-never-be-a-safe-haven-for-zombies-1.1155526#ixzz2Kozn37mm

 

[The Bread Guy]

I'm vastly reassured - from Hansard:

.... Mr. Pat Martin (Winnipeg Centre, NDP):  Mr. Speaker, I rise today to salute the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta and the Province of Quebec for putting in place emergency measures to deal with the possibility of an invasion of zombies. I do not need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies do not recognize borders and that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained.  On behalf of concerned Canadians everywhere, I want to ask the Minister of Foreign Affairs: Is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse?

Hon. John Baird (Minister of Foreign Affairs, CPC):  Mr. Speaker, I want to assure the member and all Canadians that I am “dead-icated” to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever ....

 

[a_majoor]

I've changed my mind.

Hit Parliament with cleansing fire......

 

[cupper]

ZOMBIE ALERT!

 

[CougarKing]

"Run for the hills"...seriously, is that the best they've got for ideas?  :

Yahoo News UK

Scientists reveal how to survive a real-world zombie apocalypse


A simulation of what would really happen if America was overrun by the living dead offered a few surprises
Rob WaughRob Waugh – 13 hours ago

In Hollywood zombie films, the plucky survivors usually fight back against the zombies - but that is a terrible idea, Cornell University scientists tell us.

The team modelled how a ‘real’ zombie outbreak would pan out, using statistical modelling as if it were an actual epidemic.

The best way to survive is simply to run for the hills.

Specifically, you want to be as far from human beings as possible - so a mountainous region, where you’re unlikely to run into either infected humans or zombies, is best.

(...SNIPPED)

 

[Oldgateboatdriver]

In Canada, we could run for the North … But that wouldn't work. Sooner or later one of us would break down and start skating around a pond or lake and push a stone with branch … and others would join in , and more, and more  and the ensuing game of shinny would attract the Zombies 

 

[Remius]

"Run for the hills"...seriously, is that the best they've got for ideas?  :

Yahoo News UK

It's not a bad idea really.  Why stay in an outbreak area and why stay where there is a higher concentration of Zs.  And it isn't how to fight zombies it's how to survive.  Run for teh hills and make yourself defendable.  Then wait.

 

[a_majoor]

The real life application for "run away" is if a more common disease like influenza, or an uncommon one like ebola gets loose and expands to pandemic proportions. Of course you need to run to a secure area with enough supplies or resources to hold out untiol the epidemic passes, and ensure you yourself are not overrun by panicked survivors looking for a safe haven...

 

[Remius]

The real life application for "run away" is if a more common disease like influenza, or an uncommon one like ebola gets loose and expands to pandemic proportions. Of course you need to run to a secure area with enough supplies or resources to hold out untiol the epidemic passes, and ensure you yourself are not overrun by panicked survivors looking for a safe haven...

Yes.  Panicked and desperate survivors are likely a worse threat.

 

[NavyShooter]

Survivors, or carriers?

 

[medicineman]

Survivors, or carriers?

Yes

 

[jfriesen]

Capt Lee Lambert, former padre for the Cameron Highlanders, has just published an entertaining zombie novel. Basic premise is that during the zombpocalypse a section's worth of RCDs and a hapless Reserve Padre get caught behind the FEBA 27km east of Arnprior, and have to make it back cross country to the 'stop line' that the survivors based out of Pet have established at the river / hydro dam. Pretty fun book, and being familiar with the terrain and about to track the characters' movements across real and familiar terrain features on Google Earth was fun.

Currently available for $3 in ebook format. I promise it's at least as entertaining as the equivalent two small double doubles.

http://www.amazon.com/Jacked-A-Novel-Apocalypse-ebook/dp/B009SPZ2EC

Great find, thanks!

 

[Rifleman62]

Sister gets wisdom teeth out, brothers convince her there's a zombie apocalypse 

http://upliftingforever.com/2016/04/12/sister-gets-wisdom-teeth-out-brothers-convince-her-theres-a-zombie-apocalypse/?src=srd_51057&t=syn

Watch the video.

 

[SeaKingTacco]

I saw that on failarmy

Mean. Friggin hilarious, but mean.

 

[a_majoor]

Replace the water balloon with a molotov cocktail....

http://www.popularmechanics.com/home/how-to-plans/how-to/a20386/diy-water-balloon-cannon/

 

[FSTO]

Great find, thanks!

Read it last night in one sitting. Great little story for sure.

 

[dapaterson]

Good news for those who dislike Central Canada - Ontario and Quebec are the most vulnerable to a zombie apocalypse.  Best place to be?  The Yukon.

http://www.ctvnews.ca/sci-tech/where-s-the-best-province-for-surviving-a-zombie-apocalypse-1.3002668

 

[marinemech]

Shouldn't this be renames "How to survive when Trump becomes President" Figuring Political Correctness and all