T
TMM
Guest
Pea said:
Thanks! I split the niner duties at home but I'll never be domestic again unless there's a rifle malfunction.
When is she "Too Army"?
- Thread starter paracowboy
- Start date
Thanks! I split the niner duties at home but I'll never be domestic again unless there's a rifle malfunction.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Had a few minutes of free time...how about these?
You know she's 'too army' when...
She arranges the house plants into a ‘hide’ by the front door.
She swigs back a can of beer faster than you can.
When she gets drunk she flips off the neighbors and pees into the potted plants.
When she goes to get her hair cut, she goes to the barber for a ‘high and tight’
She slaps a unit sticker on the back of your bed’s headboard.
When eating Mexican food, she slaps a burrito in your hand and yells “fire in the hole!”
When driving through town she calls out grid coordinates instead of street names.
Instead of a glassed in sunroom she has a sandbagged ‘sunning trench’ in the back yard.
She thinks Patton and Rommel should have gone ‘mano-a-mano’ in tanks.
She calls the obtuse woman at the customer service desk a ‘stupid wog’.
Her high-heeled shoes have a better shine than your parade boots.
Her car has a cutting bar on the hood to ‘prevent being hit by communication wire’.
She refuses to wash dishes or cook because that’s “women’s work”.
She writes out a PER for you on every anniversary.
She wants to put up concrete anti-tank traps instead of wooden fencing.
She installs booby traps on the walking path down the side of the house.
She refers to her breasts as ‘weapons of mass distraction’.
She thinks the French ‘wussed out’ in WW1 and 2.
You put a large decorative rock in the front yard and she paints it white.
She threatens to march her teenage son down to the recruiting center when he turns 18.
The sunroof on her Toyota Corolla has a pintle mount beside it.
You know she's 'too army' when...
She arranges the house plants into a ‘hide’ by the front door.
She swigs back a can of beer faster than you can.
When she gets drunk she flips off the neighbors and pees into the potted plants.
When she goes to get her hair cut, she goes to the barber for a ‘high and tight’
She slaps a unit sticker on the back of your bed’s headboard.
When eating Mexican food, she slaps a burrito in your hand and yells “fire in the hole!”
When driving through town she calls out grid coordinates instead of street names.
Instead of a glassed in sunroom she has a sandbagged ‘sunning trench’ in the back yard.
She thinks Patton and Rommel should have gone ‘mano-a-mano’ in tanks.
She calls the obtuse woman at the customer service desk a ‘stupid wog’.
Her high-heeled shoes have a better shine than your parade boots.
Her car has a cutting bar on the hood to ‘prevent being hit by communication wire’.
She refuses to wash dishes or cook because that’s “women’s work”.
She writes out a PER for you on every anniversary.
She wants to put up concrete anti-tank traps instead of wooden fencing.
She installs booby traps on the walking path down the side of the house.
She refers to her breasts as ‘weapons of mass distraction’.
She thinks the French ‘wussed out’ in WW1 and 2.
You put a large decorative rock in the front yard and she paints it white.
She threatens to march her teenage son down to the recruiting center when he turns 18.
The sunroof on her Toyota Corolla has a pintle mount beside it.
T
TMM
Guest
Okay, enough already! What's scary is when a civi married to a civi resembles the majority of those!
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
What? Even the pintle mount on the Toyota? ;D
T
TMM
Guest
Centurian1985 said:
shhhhhhhhh - they might take away my Birkenstocks!
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 210
Oh! Good idea!
...When she hands you an MIR chit from her Doctor authorizing her to wear Birkenstocks.
...When she hands you an MIR chit from her Doctor authorizing her to wear Birkenstocks.
T
TMM
Guest
Centurian, I am the "she"
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 410
Pachino Day. Pachino. No "s". Ya skirt-wearing, sheep-stomach eatin' razzafrazzagrumblegrumble.....Haggis said:
We needed an excuse? ???
- Reaction score
- 25
- Points
- 430
....And I thought you guys were planning Al's Birthday. Perhaps he could tell us how he got into character to play Scarface?
1
17thRecceSgt
Guest
When you mention there is a "boy's night out" coming up...that day, she hands you a leave pass stamped "Denied"...
When you disappoint her in your "marital duties" and she puts you on "Verbal Warning" with one of her friends as a witness...
When she tells you to "flash up the c/s" on a cold winter morning...
When she mumbles "good we have double-banked comm's" when you both go out somewhere with your cell phones...
When she owns more camo pants and tops then you have CADPAT...and gets excited when the Canex gets some "new kit in".
When you are complaining about something and she says "sort yourself out" or "get a grip on yourself!"
When you aren't up at 0600 on Saturday to run with her and she refers to you as "slack and idle" when you wake up...
When she refers to getting together with the girls as "PD stuff"...
When you ask her how many loafs of bread she wants while grocery shopping and from 30 feet away she gives you hands signals for "4" and waits for you to give her the signal back and gives you the "thumbs up" before continuing on "down the trace"...
When, while getting ready to leave the house, she yells "5 minutes notice to move people!"
When you disappoint her in your "marital duties" and she puts you on "Verbal Warning" with one of her friends as a witness...
When she tells you to "flash up the c/s" on a cold winter morning...
When she mumbles "good we have double-banked comm's" when you both go out somewhere with your cell phones...
When she owns more camo pants and tops then you have CADPAT...and gets excited when the Canex gets some "new kit in".
When you are complaining about something and she says "sort yourself out" or "get a grip on yourself!"
When you aren't up at 0600 on Saturday to run with her and she refers to you as "slack and idle" when you wake up...
When she refers to getting together with the girls as "PD stuff"...
When you ask her how many loafs of bread she wants while grocery shopping and from 30 feet away she gives you hands signals for "4" and waits for you to give her the signal back and gives you the "thumbs up" before continuing on "down the trace"...
When, while getting ready to leave the house, she yells "5 minutes notice to move people!"
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 410
damn you, Gates! DAMN YOU!
Mike, we need a "shaking fist at the sky" smiley icon.
Mike, we need a "shaking fist at the sky" smiley icon.
1
17thRecceSgt
Guest
When you sit down to start your vacation plans and she grabs the globe or map and says
"First I will orient you to the ground...we are currently located here in XXXX...Cuba is to our south...here..PUT DOWN YOU PEN AND PAY ATTENTION THERE YOU!"
"First I will orient you to the ground...we are currently located here in XXXX...Cuba is to our south...here..PUT DOWN YOU PEN AND PAY ATTENTION THERE YOU!"
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