*How To Give A Cat A Pill*
>>
>> **
>> 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left
>> arm as if holding
>> a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
>> side of cat's
>> mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding
>> pill in right
>> hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow
>> cat to close
>> mouth and swallow.
>>
>> 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
>> Cradle cat in left
>> arm and repeat process.
>>
>> 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
>>
>> 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm,
>> holding rear
>> paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push
>> pill to back of
>> mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count
>> of ten.
>>
>> 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of
>> wardrobe. Call
>> spouse from garden.
>>
>> 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees,
>> hold front and
>> rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
>> to hold head
>> firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into
>> mouth. Drop pill
>> down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
>>
>> 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from
>> foil wrap. Make
>> note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
>> sweep shattered
>> figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for
>> gluing later.
>>
>> 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat
>> with head just
>> visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
>> straw, force mouth
>> open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
>>
>> 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans,
>> drink 1 beer to
>> take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and
>> remove blood
>> from carpet with cold water and soap.
>>
>> 10 Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill.
>> Open another beer.
>> Place cat in cupboard, and close door on neck, leave
>> head showing. Force
>> mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat
>> with elastic band.
>>
>> 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door
>> back on hinges.
>> Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink.
>> Apply cold compress
>> to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus
>> shot. Apply whiskey
>> compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.
>> Throw Tee shirt
>> away and fetch new one from bedroom.
>>
>> 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from
>> across the road.
>> Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while
>> swerving to avoid
>> cat. Take last pill from foil wrap
>>
>> 13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws
>> with garden twine and
>> bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty
>> pruning gloves from
>> shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of
>> filet steak. Be rough
>> about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water
>> down throat to wash
>> pill down.
>>
>> 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you
>> to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches
>> fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right
>> eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
>>
>> 15. Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and
>> call local pet shop
>> to see if they have any hamsters.
>> *
>> How To Give A Dog A Pill*
>>
>> 1. Wrap it in bacon.
>>
>> 2. Toss it in the air
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> ------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>Anyone that has a dog and cats will TOTALY relate
I thought it was quite amusing.
