Restricted Posting [Merged]

[hollywood13]

Hello,

This webpage has been helpful in the past, so possibly it can help me now. I am in a bit of a logistical grey area. I have a son born with my then common law before I enrolled. We are now split up due to me moving away, but I am still very much part of his life. Legally we never went to court, and have a pretty solid / friendly relationship. We left thinks as they are with our son in both our names, and no child support payments etc required. I am posted our east in Bagotville, and she is a civilian in Vancouver. My current plan is to have my son visit me every month for 5-8 days. The problem is I cannot get restricted posting here in Bagotville. I am not common-law, not married, and we never went to court to divide custody. The shacks I am in are very small, and shared accommodation. I have to share a bathroom, kitchen, and dining area with 5 others in my pod. As all shacks are, the walls are thin, and I don’t want to impose my family on the other officers living with me. Complicating this is the no visitor’s rule after 11pm. The base has single accommodations that would be perfect for me and my son + babysitter. The problem is, I cannot be moved without being restricted posted = common law, married, or have full custody of my son. Can anyone help me with this??. I am currently very low on funds, and PMQ of 640 a month + hydro, Internet, etc. is out of the question. It is extremely frustrating on me to see these open rooms across the rd. that would be perfect for my son to visit, and not be able to move in. The only solution from the clerks at base is to go common-law, but this is really an option due to us not being together, and her in Vancouver.  If anyone has any insight to my situation?, please feel free to post, or PM me.

 

[armyvern]

First of all, you have a dependant. That counts.

Make it legal!!! Get a copy of his birth certificate. Get him on your dental plan and your MPRR..etc etc. Get a legal copy of a visitation/shared custody agreement. Do it now while things are amicable.

and finally:

We left thinks as they are with our son in both our names, and no child support payments etc required.

Not required?? ~Ahem~ I'm not even going to say it.
Not required does not excuse, a fact which, if the currently amicable ways between you and your ex change, may have significant financial and legal implications upon you.

Financialy, dammit I am going to say it, he's your son. Support him. If she doesn't want/need it, at least sock some away in a RESP for him, monthly, and get it from her in writing that she doesn't want financial support from you. But still do the RESP thing, and keep all of your records of it.

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Yes, I have several friends who thought things were "amicable"...............and then bled through the eyeballs when "amicable" became something else.

You need to make things right[legally/financally] for you, the Mother, but most of all, for the innocent party in all this.

 

[Shamrock]

1.  Pay your child support.  You're making over $50k a year, pony up and provide before your former partner blasts you with arrears.  They always do. 

Here is the table that you'll have to use to determine your payments for BC.

I am advised that BC still allows custodial parents to go after unreasonable payments for arrears (based on the information provided by the custodial parent in your absence).  Should she do so, the provincial government may prevent you from renewing your BC driver's licence until the arrears are cleared up.  They can't touch an out-of-province licence.

Start sending her cheques labelled as "Month/Year" & "Purpose" (Child support).  If she doesn't cash them, put the money in a seperate bank account and wait for the arrears.  Money for hockey equipment, camp, school supplies, etc. she asks for that you provide is above and beyond the support payments & not in lieu of; those payments are strictly optional.

2.  You want to house your son + his babysitter in standard singles quarters?

 

[hollywood13]

First of all, you have a dependant. That counts.

Make it legal!!! Get a copy of his birth certificate. Get him on your dental plan and your MPRR..etc etc. Get a legal copy of a visitation/shared custody agreement. Do it now while things are amicable.

Wow, big misunderstanding.......By not required, I meant we did not go to court and I am not ordered to pay for example 340 every month to her, or I go to jail. We basically support each other with who ever takes care of him the most during the month. Right now for example I paying for her rent back home, in December when my son was living with me in Vancouver, she paid for his day care while I was in College. I love my son very much, and the purpose of this is to try and make it so I can be a part of his life more.

Now with regards to him being a dependant, does that make me eligible for IR??? I have no idea what IR means, I thought it meant restricted posting in french maybe..... currently he has a better dental / health plan with his mothers work.

I have his birth cert. with my name on it, and the clerks photo copied it today. When I joined 3 years ago, I have them a copy of my sons birth certificate, but apparently they lost it. My major problem is getting my room situation fixed. If I have a dependant (my son) so does that make me eligible for IR??. If so, what regulation can I show the orderly room?

I am currently posted here to, if that helps at all.


Thanks so much

 

[SupersonicMax]

2Lts don't make more than 50K a year!  If he's a DEO, that'll be around 40K.  It's plenty for a Q that's for sure though...

Max

 

[aesop081]

Wow, big misunderstanding.......By not required, I meant we did not go to court and I am not ordered to pay for example 340 every month to her, or I go to jail. We basically support each other with who ever takes care of him the most during the month. Right now for example I paying for her rent back home, in December when my son was living with me in Vancouver, she paid for his day care while I was in College. I love my son very much, and the purpose of this is to try and make it so I can be a part of his life more.

You NEED to go and get this taken care of officialy.  If you don't you will be the worlds biggest idiot.  The law says that from the first day you are no longer together, you will pay child support.  One day, she will get mad and smell money and the it will be your ass hung out to dry.  The Judge will look at how much you should have payed her all this time and hand you a very large bill........trust me !! Go see a lawyer, get a formal custody agreement........pay child support.......

 

[hollywood13]

1.  Pay your child support.  You're making over $50k a year, pony up and provide before your former partner blasts you with arrears.  They always do.  If you're in financial dires, a lawyer should help.

Here is BC's web site.

2.  You want to house your son + his babysitter in standard singles quarters?

$29268 is all I make a year after taxes in Quebec. I think people are getting off topic, and getting the wrong impression.... again, I dont pay child support through a court ordered system. IE we did not goto court when we split. This part of my life is taken care of, thank you.


with regards to 2, there is an english day care located 2 min from the base that he can visit during working hours fairly cheap, and the single quarter rooms out here are fairly large with there own kitchen, bathroom, and 2 beds. The answer is yes to wanting my son and babysitter (my mother or ex) staying with me for 5-8 days a month.

cheers

 

[17thRecceSgt]

You NEED to go and get this taken care of officialy.  If you don't you will be the worlds biggest idiot.  The law says that from the first day you are no longer together, you will pay child support.  One day, she will get mad and smell money and the it will be your *** hung out to dry.  The Judge will look at how much you should have payed her all this time and hand you a very large bill........trust me !!

+1.  I was lucky that I was paying an agreed upon amount BEFORE things went south.  I only had to come up with a small amount they decided upon for retro (as in $2000ish).

IF there is an agreement in place like you say, then at the VERY least, get that down on paper.  Where I come from, the province assigned a mediator, it was all documented, and was usuable in court when the time came.

And...IMHO...the time WILL come.

CYA...always with this stuff (cover you a$$).

MRM

 

[armyvern]

It makes you entitled to a Q.

And putting your son on your dental plan does not cost a dime. Do it!! Then you can claim what she can't or vice versa (and the CF dependants dental plan is very good).

IR...probably not if you don't have a joint custody legal custody agreement. And even then I'm not sure that it would qualify you for IR as you would not be maintaining a principal residence at another location.

It would have implications however upon LTA claim entitlements if he were your listed NOK. Get it legal. Go see your OR once you've done that. You need to do this legally.

I hope you are keeping copies of all your receipts for your financial output so far.

 

[aesop081]

$29268 is all I make a year after taxes in Quebec. I think people are getting off topic, and getting the wrong impression.... again, I dont pay child support through a court ordered system. IE we did not goto court when we split. This part of my life is taken care of, thank you.

You are going to learn the hard way.  Wether you went to court or not is not relevant. The law says that you have to pay "X" amount depending on your pay, court or not.......When it goes to a court, and believe me it eventualy will......you wont be too happy you didnt listen.

 

[hollywood13]

You are going to learn the hard way. Whether you went to court or not is not relevant. The law says that you have to pay "X" amount depending on your pay, court or not.......

Yes I am very aware of the legal, and financial implications. As said this part of my life has been handled, and I don't feel like discussing it further on-line. What I need help with is getting my housing situation sorted out please. I am in a grey area, not having sole custody of my child, not being divorced/married, and not being common-law. The accommodations center personell is saying I cannot have the room I require without being IR. The clerks say I cannot be IR unless I am common-law, married, or have sole custody. The fact is I have a son, require the IR housing.... can somebody please help me with this.

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Hollywood..................these people are not jumping on you, they are offering VERY GOOD advice.............things go south, it happens.

However folks, this is his wish so lets keep this on the accommodation aspect.

 

[aesop081]

Yes I am very aware of the legal, and financial implications. As said this part of my life has been handled, and I don't feel like discussing it further on-line.

Unless you have legal papers it hasn't been handled....but hey what do i know.  Its your funeral, enjoy it

 

[Shamrock]

I think it's something that has to go up through your CoC.

You're describing some very unique circumstances and it's best if they handle it.

 

[armyvern]

Yes I am very aware of the legal, and financial implications. As said this part of my life has been handled, and I don't feel like discussing it further on-line. What I need help with is getting my housing situation sorted out please. I am in a grey area, not having sole custody of my child, not being divorced/married, and not being common-law. The accommodations center personell is saying I cannot have the room I require without being IR. The clerks say I cannot be IR unless I am common-law, married, or have sole custody. The fact is I have a son, require the IR housing.... can somebody please help me with this.

We told you what you need to do to get your housing sorted out. That will take a legal custody document which has been sanctionned by the courts; nothing less.

And nothing less will get you into a Q you would be entitled to either. And you would have a valid requirement for one if you had a joint legal custody agreement to back yourself up with. Until you have that, CFHA won't be able to do much for you. You need to do what you need to do before anyone else can do anything for you.

 

[SupersonicMax]

You would be entitled to Quarters if you are single and not moving any dependents I believe.  You would have to pay for Quarters and Rations as it is a Posting and not an Attached Posting (nor a TD).  However, I have never seen anyone move their son and nanny in single quarters...

You would also be entitled to a Q if you elect to live in a Q (in fact, many of my single friends have Qs here in Winnipeg....)

Max

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

...and with that I think your question has been well answered.
I'm locking this just in case some wish to jump on the pile. If someone has something relevent to add, just PM a Moderator.

 

[Danjanou]

Hollywood I hate to keep harping on something others have brought up but trust me on this one. You do not this handled. You need as others have said to have everything re support/custody officially done in writing this can even be a informal (but still written out and recognized by the appropriate social service agencies in your province) agreement between you and your former partner. As the Punitive father you will be on the hook sooner or later. It’s not even a matter of your relationship going south it’s just the way the system works.

The other mods here know what I do for a living now and can vouch that I’m more or less the site’s SME in these matters. Start talking to someone now.

 

[TragicAsian]

I have been searching everywhere about this.

I know that bringing your personal vehicle to BMQ is on a permission basis. If they say no, it's no. But my question is, if I am given permission to bring my own vehicle (as I would like it to visit home on weekend passes after the 4 week CB), what happens after BMQ is completed? I keep reading posts that state that after grad week they load you up to the airport and fly you to your next training base. However, I couldn't find anything relating to what happens if you brought your own vehicle to BMQ. Do they make you leave it there and they fly you out, or are you given the option to drive yourself so they can get it out of the parking lot to make room for others?

Thank you.