made a bad choice want to go home

[xo31@711ret]

Here's a situation I had a few years ago: young guy applied and was excepted to ROTP ( a very competitive and highly drawn out process due to competition / limited number of seats). Guy was accepted to RMC (well done!). He now has a university education paid for at a highly respected credited university, collects a paycheck, room & board, etc. About 11 months later, I see him in his home town. I ask him how RMC is going. He says he dropped out / VRed because he missed his girlfriend.  :crybaby: WTF? I say...Well how is your girlfriend, I ask...He says, Oh we broke up about a month after I got home. Looking for a job now, but I'm going to apply for an officier position in the reserve unit here. (He had superb marks in highschool, but no futher education; unless of course one counts his 4 months or so at RMC....) :

Stick with Dude; finish your contract; remuster when you can. A lot of civvie employers  look favourably on previous military experience (eg, discipline, work ethos, etc) not on someone who cannot complete an obligation that they volunteered for.

 

[geo]

I am not yet in the army but I am in the middle of my recruiting process. I really think you should stick it out man.
Could you deal with being "DISHONOURABLY DISCHARGED." J
ust my 2 cents so take them as you will man.
-Norwood

Uhhh... Norwood

VR is not a dishonorable discharge
You're not in and you're talking outa your A$$
Many say & / or think "Young'uns should be seen and not heard"

have a nice day

 

[The Bread Guy]

I agree with those who say if you're really, really miserable, you shouldn't stay.  However, I also agree with those saying you should give it a chance.

I like the idea of revisiting it every week - if you are about 18 or so, why not try to got through a year?  At worst, you're starting another career path at 19 instead of 18 (not much time lost), and you may find yourself in a VERY different situation 12 months from now.

+100 to those saying it's NEVER wasted time - you, yourself, said you proved that you could do the training.  If finishing the job wasn't important to you, I don't think you'd have pushed as hard as you say you did in training.

Trust me, you have a LOT of life left at 18 - I'm still figuring out what I want to do when I grow up at 45 

Good luck with your decision.

 

[observor 69]

noone, read the comments by niner domestic and Yrys and think carefully over what they said, they speak to the personal.

I think you have answered the "be a man, show you can do it " part already by getting to where you are.

Take the time to think things through carefully before you take any action.

 

[ladybugmabj]

would like to see my friends, family and significant other more than 20 days a year for the next 3 years.

Here's my .02 worth...my husband is currently finishing off his tour in Afghanistan with 1RCR...I have more friends here than I did in highschool. I am in contact with only 3 friends really that I knew in highschool.  As for family..my god, this unit and regiment and the wives that I have met through our coffee mornings/evenings, THEY are my family. Yes, my family is close (6 hours...as is everything in Petawawa it seems!!), but these ladies, and even some of the husbands that have stood by their spouse for the past 6,7 or 8 months, they understand what it's like. My father, sister and brothers can sympathize with me, but this wonderful group that I have gotten to know over the past 7 months can empathize with me.
 As for his family, they are in Saskatchewan. I want to go home this Christmas, since it's been 10 years since we did Christmas with his family. We have gone home over summer leave, and even that was 5 years ago. He knows no one in his home town now!!
  Oh, and as for spending 20 days with a significant other, as much training as my husband has done and tours he's been on since I've been with him (7 for me, he's done eight), we do spend more than 20 days together.
Good luck in your choice!!  Weigh the options....I'm sure the pro's outweigh the cons!!

 

[Teflon]

noone


Check your private messages on this site

 

[Spring_bok]

A normal reaction after being in the training system for the better part of 6 months with a 24/7 school environment then being shipped to a little place like Shiloh with free evenings you are not used to having.  Not being told when to eat and when to go to bed.  Well suck it up and soldier on.  The Army has just spent allot of money on you and they expect a return on their investment.  There could be considerations for release but homesick is not a likely one.  You are an adult now and must accept the consequences based on the decisions that you make.  If you still feel the same way after your BE than you are in the drivers seat then.

 

[McplWagar]

Stay in and finish your time. If you get out now and go to school and think your world is a lot better just remember when you start looking for your career people will ask why you quit the army. If you quit them you might quit this job so I wasted my money training you and you quit on me. Do your time it shows you can make and complete your commitments, time to grow up and prove you can be an adult.

 

[Chou]

Some of my personal experiences... 

Right after highschool i went straight to University with many of my friends.  Throughout the four years i`ve met countless individuals (including myself) who didn't know what they wanted to study.  Some friends of mine ended up switching majors 2-3 times, from engineering to economics to history, you name it.  I myself  went from comp. sci to physics and eco, but that's besides the point.  I met one individual in second year who was much older 26 or 27 then the rest of us (19 -20).  I though he wasted his time changing majors like the rest of us, but i was wrong.  He knew exactly what he wanted in life and in his studdies.  He was smart, resourceful and wise.  I was a bit surprised to see a person like that.  I later found out that instead of going to university he joined the navy for 3 years.  He saw the world.  He told me many stories of camaraderie and adventure (including washing off the skid marks of a Sea King landing gear off his helmet). 

Sure it was tough but it was worth it!  I could not fully understand it until I joined the CF.  In many instances today people that come out of highschool are either too young or don`t really care what they want to do as a career.  Some lack structure and guidance.  My advice to you is to stay for the 3 years.  Civi friends will come and go but the individuals you meet here are for life.

 

[seamus]

You sound like a young troop stick it out for a bit see how it goes. I have been in for almost 2 decades and when I joined I had no choice(some of the older persons will remember people like me). So you can imagine how I felt. Granted my first posting was to Workpoint but all the same, give it some time.

 

[TAS278]

I have been in for 6 years and I can tell you in my limited experience that are things you will love about the military and things you will hate. Make sure you express some of your concerns to your supervisors. Most people realize happy workers are better workers. You have to earn everything though so quitting before trying isn't going to get you much in the outfit or the one you choose after.

AS it has been said, we all make choices and some of them are mistakes. We have to live with the consequences and try to not to let one mistake turn into many..

Good Luck and Keep your chin up, the homesickness gets easier. Trust me.

 

[PPCLI Guy]

I believe you will find that there are severe restrictions on soldiers releasing during their first 3 years.  Given that, why don't you make the best of the situation, and give it your all?

 

[orange.paint]

Suck it pal, I only get a chance to go home and visit my family every 3 or 4 years. Imagine that eh. Normally I am over 22,500km from dear ole Saskatchewan, and  I am currently on Ops in the MEAO.

You are an adult, you made a decision, now stand and deliver!

Be a man among men, honour your commitment, and soldier on.

100's of thousands of other Canadians have made it, and so can you.

Wes

As Wes said we all spend most of our time away from family.Be it our parents and extended family in rural NWT or our wife and children.It is a part of the army life.You get to go home on vacation.And honestly at 17 I was ready to get out on my own and have my own life.

I'm 25 now and every time I leave home I still get homesick,evertime.

My friend is a Engineer (civilian) who got hired by a huge firm in Texas.He is gone and for one whole year gets very minimal leave,until his second year.Also being a lot farther from home than MOST Canadian soldiers are usually.Civilian world ain't a lot better.Unless you want to work at the local gas station or sell dope, chances are you wont find a stellar job in any rural center.

But as I said earlier,I have seen people like yourself.Who want out from day one.I also seen how bitter and twisted they become when they don't release these members.How much of a burden these whiners and negative people place on their peers and supervisors.

I'm not one for quiting however to come on a public board looking to see what you could do,says to me your either looking for encouragement on "How awesome things will become"or ideas on how to get out.Life is only as fun as you make it.And if your extremely miserable at your workplace day in day out...release.However I know I've been guilty of taking a small amount of problems I had with my career and just focusing on that.Thus I had tried to OT to another trade.After a while of sitting back and looking at the full picture, I realised even though this one part of my career sucked many things were awesome.

Sometimes you have to look at the big picture instead of the one crappy part.

You have not came back to fill us in on the details.However I'm guessing that when you got posted there,you were told at the graduation parade by some officer that you were part of the family.Brothers in arms,no longer a pee-on as you have been in the training system.However now reality that your still a Pte getting yelled at for a crappy uniform and spending your days sweeping and sharpening shovels.Your not at the level some people made you believe.And thus you are disappointed? (Just my thoughts I may be totally wrong)

It all boils down to what is right for you.Many people will rant about whats right for the army.However realise your a number,nothing else.This is YOUR life and if you choose to be a productive civilian so be it.I can't fault you for that.

 

[FormerHorseGuard]

if this is how you really feel, take time on your free time and go talk to the padre ( nothing gets backs to the command  it stays and ends there in his or her office) and get some career advice from him, also ask to have an imformal chat  with your Mcpl and Sgt and tell them how you feel and ask  what can be done about it and any changes they can help you make before you put it in writing. Ask them what  is the big picture is for you, ask if your doing a good job and what  improvements you can make. If you quit now you might always wonder how far you could of gone.

I got out of the forces and regret it almost daily and know it is next to impossible for me togo back.

As for school go to the edcuation resource office, what ever they call it now and check out the education programs offered there and see what it takes to complete your degree, why not get paid and study at the same time. The res force does not really pay enough tolive on and go to school full time so you would need a income to support yourself.

A problem with young people these days is that some of them have never been away from home and soon as they are away they miss what  whty thought that they had back home.
6 months is not a good time frame to decide this is not for you and that the army is not for you, Shilo might not be the base and area to show you the more fun side of army life but I think in time you will grow to understand the army more and learn more about yourself if you stick it out and grow as a person.
Good luck no matter what  you decide

 

[Roy Harding]

You sound like a young troop stick it out for a bit see how it goes. I have been in for almost 2 decades and when I joined I had no choice(some of the older persons will remember people like me). So you can imagine how I felt. Granted my first posting was to Workpoint but all the same, give it some time.

Some of the finest soldiers I ever served with were "people like you".

For Noone:

I echo the comments of most here - especially PPCLI Guy - you aren't going to find it easy to get out while on a BE, make some lemon aide out of what you perceive to be lemons, and give it a burst, instead of moping around.  You'll be surprised at how much fun you're having, and the time will pass MUCH more quickly.  If, at the end of your BE you still want to leave - fine, no one will think any the less of you, you'll have some fine Resume Padding, you'll have acquired some lifelong friendships, you'll have some jack in your pocket, you'll have proved you are responsible enough to live up to your commitments, and you'll have one more thing to be proud of in your life.

Oh, and the girl:  if she REALLY loves you, and you two were REALLY "meant to be", she'll either have joined up with you in the meantime, or she'll be waiting for you if you get out.  She also will have some pride in your commitment and your service.

Roy

Edit:  forgot a word

 

[NL_engineer]

Oh, and the girl:  if she REALLY loves you, and you two were REALLY "meant to be", she'll either have joined up with you in the meantime, or she'll be waiting for you if you get out.  She also will have some pride in your commitment and your service.

Or she will move up there with you.  Does she call you?

 

[3rd Herd]

A few thoughts on the matter at hand. First at 18, psychologically you are still developing, adolescences ends at or around 22/23. So your decision making process is still in development. Most in this age group make their decisions based on emotion rather than logic. Young age, basic, posted to isolation in Shilo contributes heavily to emotional decisions rather than logical ones. Logic would dictate finishing your three years, gaining as much experience as possible. Your are lucky you are not facing a four year first time go around. Your problems are no differnet from many. It is surprising how many instant marriages occur with those fresh out of basic or trade training, ah those evil hormones cruising through your body. Next, you will find how easy post secondary is with some military experience behind you. Many of us on this site that are currently in the post secondary realm have commented on this. With the option of E-education, post a thread, most will help out in this regard. Further depending on university your time in could count against courses in first year. Time in equals equivalent course requirement. I think both U of M and U of W ascribe to this. As to trading places I have four friends right know myself included that would give just about anything to be back in the regiment. One even advanced the logic that we should be back in and sent on deployment as in various forms we are sort of broken. As we are sort of broken we can replace those that are not yet and save them from being injured. Our VAC rehab worker just smiled.

 

[Flesh.Injected]

Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the reciprocation's to leaving before the completion of your contract?

 

[aesop081]

Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the reciprocation's to leaving before the completion of your contract?

you mean "repercussions " ?

 

[Roy Harding]

Since I am obviously uneducated on this situation what are the reciprocation's to leaving before the completion of your contract?

There are no repercussions (or reciprocation's for that matter) - however, prior to such a request being approved at NDHQ, the CO has to sign off on the application.  Most CO's are not going to entertain such an idea, for all the reasons outlined above, as well as manpower concerns, etcetera, etcetera.

The only time (in 22 years) I saw such a request was a sad case of a young fellow who didn't WANT to get out, but his Mother had passed away, leaving only the young soldier to be a full-time care-giver for his ailing Father.  I kept in touch with him, on and off, five years later, his Dad had passed away, and the young fellow re-joined.

Edit:  CDN Aviator beat me to it - he was posting as I was typing.