Informing Family and Friends

[Junior17]

Is there anyone out there that can help me ... looking for help on how to tell people that I've joined the CF ... I know that there will be a mix bag of reactions and I was wondering if there is anything that could soften the news ... or even some personal experiences and how you dealt with the reactions ... thanks ... :-\

 

[Mithras]

Just tell them the truth,  I am sure you have some pretty strong reasons for joining and those reasons should be enough for them.

I haven't had to deal with any overtly negative responses, I have gotten the standard "What about Afghanistan?" query and they all asked "Why?" but I gave them my reasons and they have all been supportive.  I don't think they need to like you joining as long as they are supportive.

Anyways it is your life, it is your decision and in the end you are the one that has to live with it, not them.

 

[te. crutch]

Just tell them the truth,  I am sure you have some pretty strong reasons for joining and those reasons should be enough for them.

I haven't had to deal with any overtly negative responses, I have gotten the standard "What about Afghanistan?" query and they all asked "Why?" but I gave them my reasons and they have all been supportive.  I don't think they need to like you joining as long as they are supportive.

Anyways it is your life, it is your decision and in the end you are the one that has to live with it, not them.

+1

I had the same kind of reactions, and everyone I told seemed to understand when I told them "My" reasons. It's not an easy choice for some people to make and I support you for making it. So will everyone you talk to. Aside from my mother, who has obvious concerns, all my friends and family have showed nothing but strong support for me. Like Mithras said, just tell them the truth and they will accpet it or not.

 

[Jaydub]

Is there anyone out there that can help me ... looking for help on how to tell people that I've joined the CF ... I know that there will be a mix bag of reactions and I was wondering if there is anything that could soften the news ... or even some personal experiences and how you dealt with the reactions ... thanks ... :-\

You're profile says you're 27.  Unless you're married or have any kids, there isn't really anyone you have to justify your decision to.  Like what everyone else is saying, just tell them the truth and they should be supportive.  At the very least they'll respect your decision.

 

[DeltaWhiskey]

Yeah. I get the "What about Afghanistan?" line, as well. I've only just submitted my application, and I bet I've heard that one no less than 10-15 times already. 
As I said, I'm not in the CF yet, and I have no one to explain myself to when/if accepted. I'm certain you feel the honour in joining the CF, and as long as you're satisfied with your decision, then that's all that truly matters. It's always difficult when family and friends aren't supportive. But, perhaps if you're faced with negative feelings at first, their acceptance will come later, once you've shown you're established and your future is clearer.
Use reason in your quest for support. Relate to them the benefits of the CF - job security, pension, travel, income, other nameless perks. Tell them to watch "Full Metal Jacket", and reassure them that it is perfectly acceptable to feel a bit uneasy. J/k, of course. ;D
Hope this helps a little, and good luck.

 

[TCBF]

Go on the offence: "How can you guys just sit here, eat bon-bons and watch Oprah all day when there is a country to be saved in Afghanistan?  Your forebears liberated Holland and you question ME?  You are worms!"

If they don't come around, no loss.  You will meet better people.

Tom

 

[Junior17]

Aside from my mother, who has obvious concerns, all my friends and family have showed nothing but strong support for me. Like Mithras said, just tell them the truth and they will accpet it or not.

Yeah I know for sure my mom will freak out ... she has a different view of Afghanistan then I do ... she believes it's 'someone elses fight' ... my ex was supportive back last summer ... but it'll be interesting to see if she's still supportive now that everything is falling into place ...

 

[DeltaWhiskey]

Go on the offence: "How can you guys just sit here, eat bon-bons and watch Oprah all day when there is a country to be saved in Afghanistan?  Your forebears liberated Holland and you question ME?  You are worms!"

If they don't come around, no loss.  You will meet better people.

Tom

Or, if my advice fails, do what he says.  ;D

 

[blacktriangle]

Just tell it like it is, and if they say anything negative...it's their problem, eff em.

At your age you should be fine, try telling your parents your going reg force at age 17...that one gets some emotion going heh.

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

Is there anyone out there that can help me ... looking for help on how to tell people that I've joined the CF ... I know that there will be a mix bag of reactions and I was wondering if there is anything that could soften the news ... or even some personal experiences and how you dealt with the reactions ... thanks ... :-\

Um why would you want to soften the news??
Are you proud of what you have done or not??
If not it's time to submit your voluntary realease now before we spend any more money on your training.

If you are you do it like this.

"Mom, Dad (fill in the name) I'm so happy because today I've done something I've wanted to do for a long time. I joined the Canadian Armed Forces. It's a great career and a great opportunity to serve my country. I will probably have to face some pretty big challenges but this is what I want to do with my life. I know you all love me and you'll support me."

"But what about Afghanistan?"

"Yeah that's the cool part. I get to go and help people who really need me on the other side of the world."

How's that?? 

 

[GUNS]

Junior17, your 27 and wondering how to explain your decision to join the military.  :

Your 27,  in control of your life.

Your 27 years on this earth.

There is no reason for you to justify your decision. Explain-yes, justify-no.

I was 17 when I joined, my parents supported me when I explained why I wanted to join.

Explain then join.  no ifs,ands or buts.

 

[Mike Baker]

Junior17, your 27 and wondering how to explain your decision to join the military.  :

Your 27,  in control of your life.

Your 27 years on this earth.

There is no reason for you to justify your decision. Explain-yes, justify-no.

I was 17 when I joined, my parents supported me when I explained why I wanted to join.

Explain then join.  no ifs.ands or buts.

+1

 

[daftandbarmy]

I don't recommend it, but you could do what one of my soldiers once did and send the family a photo of yourself on operations. At least he made sure that he was smiling in the photo so it didn't seem like he was having a hard time.

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

Am I missing something? ???
Why would anyone be ashamed of joining?
Sending people photos is cowardly.
Tell them all, with your chest proudly stuck out, that you've joined and you're happy as hell about it (in my case "happy as heaven!") 

 

[daftandbarmy]

Well, this guy was from a southern Irish family and he was with the Paras in South Armagh. So I guess they weren't too keen on him being there. His family basically disowned him. I hope that's not going to be an issue for Junior 17.

 

[DeltaWhiskey]

"But what about Afghanistan?"

"Yeah that's the cool part. I get to go and help people who really need me on the other side of the world."

Very well put.

 

[gaspasser]

Um why would you want to soften the news??
Are you proud of what you have done or not??
If not it's time to submit your voluntary realease now before we spend any more money on your training.

If you are you do it like this.

"Mom, Dad (fill in the name) I'm so happy because today I've done something I've wanted to do for a long time. I joined the Canadian Armed Forces. It's a great career and a great opportunity to serve my country. I will probably have to face some pretty big challenges but this is what I want to do with my life. I know you all love me and you'll support me."

"But what about Afghanistan?"

"Yeah that's the cool part. I get to go and help people who really need me on the other side of the world."

How's that?? 

+1 Beautiful, Padre
junior17, are you embarrassed about joining up? I joined up when I was 21 and haven't looked back since.  My parents were a bit miffed at the time but it was MY decision to take the step from cadets, to reserves to the regs. 
Man up and tell 'em that you joined up.

 

[George Wallace]

Would it be impolite to ask if you have left Home yet?

 

[Junior17]

Alright guys ... I think what I was looking for was how to deal with someone's negative reaction ... I am proud to be serving my country and helping people and I know that many people in my life will see it this way as well ... I actually told my ex wife tonight and she's all for it ... she told me that I'd kick myself if I don't go through with it ... that's the reaction I was looking for ... it's the 'oh god what have you done ... ?' reaction that I need to deal with ... Yes I am 27 years old and in full control of my life but it's those reactions that I don't need when I'm going to need all the support in the world to help me through some of the tough times ...

Anyways .. thanks for the response ... I do appreciate it ...

 

[IrishCanuck]

Go on the offence: "How can you guys just sit here, eat bon-bons and watch Oprah all day when there is a country to be saved in Afghanistan?  Your forebears liberated Holland and you question ME?  You are worms!"

If they don't come around, no loss.  You will meet better people.

Tom

This strategy is the winner.  ;D