Girlfriends

[ThatsLife]

does anyone else out there have a girlfriend/ significant other who hates the army. my gf hates the army and me being in it. shes even gone so far as to say that if i go away anywhere she dosnt want to be with me. i dont know what to do and everyone i going to say i sound like a love sick puppy but i am really torn. anyone ese out there have this problem or anyone got advice.

Fightirish, you don't even know the HALF of it. The first time I left for BMQ, my girlfriend hit me, kicked me, cried, called me an a**hole and what not. I quit basic training and came back and went to school...now I'm graduated and I asked my girlfriend what she thought about me joining the Army again and she IMMEDIATELY broke into tears...so I thought to myself.."Alright, I'll just reapply behind her back and then tell her after Christmas so I don't ruin her holidays"...so I'm going to buy her a puppy and hope for the best. But she did not fail to warn me that if I were to join the Army I wouldn't have a girlfriend to come back to. So I told her straight up, "If that's the case then you're the one that's losing something, not me", and she started to cry more.

Let me tell you though, when I was worrying about my girlfriend breaking up with me I had just turned 17 and we had been together for a year and a bit. I was still in that whole "baby I miss you and it hasn't even been 10 minutes since I last saw you! please come home from the hair salon" stage. Trust me, it'll all be over soon. My dad could have had a career playing hockey, he was scouted out during a game and things lead to other things and I'm not entirely sure but I think something along the lines of him playing for the hartford whalers? those guys were pretty old school so I don't know if anyone knows them. Anyways, he gave it all up for my mom and regrets it to death (except for his kids  ) after I quit the Army he had a strange suspicion that my girlfriend had to do something with it...so now before I leave for basic training in January he tells me the same thing every time he phones me, which is basically:

"Don't let a woman shape the path of your life"

 

[Bobby Rico]

I've unfortunately been privy to the destructive nature of the military on a household- my own parents.  My mother came from a military family, and she hated it because of the constant moving around she had to endure over the years.  When she got together with my father, he wasn't in the military at the time- it was about five years into their marriage roughly by the time he decided to join.  Gradually their marriage dissolved as a result of this, because she didn't want to live in a military household and have to endure the constant movings and all this stuff again, and he was very dedicated to the military after joining. 

The lesson I sort of gained from this (a good lesson to learn i might add, given I am beginning a career in the military) is that relationships simply cannot work in the military unless both parties accept the inevitabilities that come with the military (such as moving around, tours of duty and the like).  I'm sort of thankful that I'm single going into this career because I've seen first hand how destructive it can be.  I've also learned that often times, you cannot change someone's opinion on something and that there are times when you've really just got to cut your loses, or decide (as others have pointed out) which is really the most important thing in your life.

 

[ex-Highlander]

My husband and I are both Army (though different trades), and we started off our marriage in true military fashion - I had just gotten home from my 5's, and he was in Pat Platoon, awaiting his trades training.  He came home for Christmas holidays, we got married, and then off he went back to Boredom.  lol  There is no end to the things military life will throw at you that will maintain a physical distance sometimes, but if you are meant to be, it won't matter at the end of the day.  Sometimes the old adage "distance makes the heart grow fonder" really is true.

Then again, sometimes there are sailors (or soldiers, or airmen) who hold true to the "a girl in every port" saying, but the whole idea is to avoid being in a relationship with those ones.  And if they're smart, they'll do the same!  ;D