Failed Relationships after Deployments - Sound OFF!

[1feral1]

Well, I guess its my turn.

Greetings to all members, and finally I have returned to the world.

Its been a long war, ha! For the real battle does not begin until you are home. Aint that the truth.

I have been back just over a week now, thought things were going fine, and two days ago I was told that 'our' realtionship is not working and she is leaving!

From being almost mortgage free, with a potential semi retirement in 09, to now going at it alone, refinacing a mortgage, plus all thoe plans, now flushed down the shytter!

My Leave started 01 April. I needed time to decompress from my time in Iraq, and now this!

Sucks eh!

Here I thought all was well, sure we had our ups and downs like anyone, but I guess its too much for her.

207 days in Shyteland, alot of the drive which kept me 'sane' was knowing that I had a home and a woman back there supporting me.

Life goes on.

For those who are about to be deployed or are depolyed, watch your back, keep for shyte sorted in one sock, and communicate. I thought I had it all covered. Either she was a good actor, or I was too trusting and stupid to know.

In the past 12 months, I had been away for 11 months.

During my time O/S, one of my close friends got his 'Dear John'. He is my age, and a great bloke. I helped drown his sorrows in Arabic Kit-Kats, $20 worth the first day or so!

I could not understand how someone could do that to him. When he got back, she (or someone she knew) had stolen his medals, smashed mirrors and did some other stupid things. I felt so sorry for him, and now look at me. What I thought was a strong realtionship with the odd 'hicup' has now turned into something I least expected.


I guess I got to suck it up, and soldier on in some difficult times ahead.


Regards from another sleepless night,

Wes

 

[beach_bum]

Sorry to hear about it Wes.

 

[Big Foot]

Wes,
Very sorry to hear about that. I may be young but I've had a small taste of what you're experiencing now, having had two girlfriends dump me due to what I do and how long I was gone for (3+ months). I know that's nothing compared to what you're going through now but if nothing else, I suppose we can all take solace in the fact that no matter what happens, we have our comrades in uniform who can understand our personal hardships. Again, sorry to hear about this and I wish you all the best.
Big Foot

 

[Pea]

I am REALLY sorry to hear that Wes. Deployments are definitely a trying situation, in many many ways.

I can somewhat relate to your situation, however the opposite direction. I recently finished waiting for someone who was away on deployment. Things too seemed great throughout the tour, and there was a lot of high hopes and things I was looking forward to when he got home safe. Not going to get into specifics of course, but lets just say he made it home safe and things were not what I thought they were... at all. I put a lot into him and his tour, and in the end was left alone, hurt and feeling quite used. It's not just the guys on tour that crap happens to, the ones waiting at home get hurt and/or taken for a ride too. We're humans and unfortunately bad things happen.

One thing I try to remember is my firm belief that everything happens for a reason. I learned a lot about myself, and my life goals throughout my situation. In the end I have now done what I wanted to for a while but always had an excuse for, joined the CF. So while I may have been very disappointed that things didn't turn out how I thought I wished they would, I now have something pretty exciting to look forward to.

Chin up, you'll be ok. It sucks, and I know that feeling all too well. Best wishes for you in the future.

 

[HItorMiss]

PM Inbound Wes

 

[Bigmac]

     Wes, I am so sorry about your situation. I know it is no consolation but I know exactly how you are feeling. Seven years ago I had the same kind of conversation with my then wife of 11 yrs. She told she was tired of the military life and felt our relationship was not working. I was dumped out of the house and spent Christmas alone in base quarters. Yes, it sucked, but I promise things will get better.
     For me, I got my career and life back on track, met the greatest gal in the world and am now happily married again. Life sometimes throws shyte at us and sometimes we stumble but we must pick ourselves up and soldier on. You have many brothers and sisters on this site Wes and we will all help you get back up on your feet and carry you through this difficult time in your life. As you can see many of us have been where you are right now,you are not alone.

 

[NavComm]

That really sucks Wes. I'd buy you a beer or ten to drown your sorrows in, but it's kind of hard to do from Canada! Chin up. It's her loss.

 

[Bobby Rico]

That's a serious blow, dude.  Really sorry to hear about that.  I've enjoyed reading your posts, and your insights while I've been on these forums, and hate to hear something like that happen to you, man.  But, hell, you survived Iraq, you'll survive this too.  Just another of life's many battles.

 

[GAP]

That sucks...

 

[TN2IC]

Things happen man for a reason. If you were in my area I would invite you to a pint or two and let you blow off some steam. You're more than welcomed to PM me if you need to. Keep you chin up.

Think about Monty Python.. I always do. Lightens my day up. Hopfully it will for you.


Cheers Mate,
TN2IC

;D

Always Look on the Bright Side of Life



Some things in life are bad
They can really make you mad
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle
Don't grumble, give a whistle
And this'll help things turn out for the best...

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

If life seems jolly rotten
There's something you've forgotten
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps
Don't be silly chumps
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.

And...always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the light side of life...

For life is quite absurd
And death's the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.

So always look on the bright side of death
Just before you draw your terminal breath

Life's a piece of shit
When you look at it
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

And always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the right side of life...
(Come on guys, cheer up!)
Always look on the bright side of life...
Always look on the bright side of life...
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)
Always look on the bright side of life...
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.
What have you lost? Nothing!)
Always look on the right side of life...

​

 

[zipperhead_cop]

That rots, brother.  Chances are it was in the works while you were gone, if it only took two days to drop the hammer when you got back.  Starting over is a lame duck prospect too.  At our age there is no real interest in puting all that time and effort into another one.  Funny, the bail card has been mentioned to me with regards to TF 03-08, but we'll have to see how that plays out. 

So when do you re-deploy?  ^-^

 

[Mike Baker]

That sucks, Wes. If you want to see the video of the song TN2IC posted, here it is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jHPOzQzk9Qo

This will make you have a laugh to forget your troubles too http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08BRy0MoIA8  ;D

 

[gaspasser]

Sorry to hear that, Wes. That sucks fur sure.  Obviously, she couldn't hack army wife life. If she couldn't hack being without you for months at a time, she can bloody well do without you and be damned!
Hopefully not too many other fellers are in the same boat.  With good luck, my lady will still be here when I get home.
  BYTD

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Or even worse, you might have ended up saying vows like these
;D

 

[Nfld Sapper]

Sorry to hear that Wes.

Remember keep your stick on the ice. We're all pulling for you mate.

 

[Sig_Des]

That sucks Wes...

my last one decided she couldn't deal with it...timing was quite interesting...Day after my Birthday, which also happened to be the day after one of my best friends was wounded in Afghanistan.

Drank for a week, and threw myself into work with a vengeance. Deploying in two weeks, single and unchained.

Chin up, brother.

 

[Nfld Sapper]

Des be safe over there.

 

[AmmoTech90]

Sorry to hear about that Wes.  Similiar thing happened to me on my first posting.  No finnancial implications, but after 10 months in the training system with her saying all is fine, I come back on leave to be dumped on the day before I go back to work.  Sucks isn't the word for it.  Keep your chin up and I'm sure everything will work out eventually.

D

 

[PMedMoe]

Wes, sorry to hear that but glad to hear you are home safe.

 

[medicineman]

PM Inbound.

MM