Embarrasing Question

[sarahj]

I'm really glad I stumbled across these forums because I've been struggling a bit with what to do about an embarrasing part of my background. I hope you all won't judge me too harshly... everyone's made mistakes... heh.

I guess I'll start with a bit of background. I ended up in a really bad position financially last year between breaking up with my fiance, inability to find work in my field, and student loan payments coming due. I was literally scraping the bottom of the barrel, my monthly income was siginificantly lower than my monthly bills and I'd run out of savings. So what I ended up doing was dancing in strip clubs part time on the side for a couple months to pay off my student loans. It was really an awful job, you meet a lot of scumy guys doing that, but it was legal work and it bailed me out of my financial problems.

I never expected to be applying for a job that would involve an extensive background check, but shit happens and things change, and here I am a couple months later applying to the army. I wasn't sure what to do about this particular aspect of my background on the applications, seemed like a damned if you do and damned if you don't kind of situation, so on the advice of a couple of buddies in the military, I left it off my application. This decision hasn't been sitting really well with me though. I'm not a dishonest person by nature, I absolutely hate lying and even fudging the truth a little makes me quite uncomfortable.

So I guess I have two questions, now that you all know the situation. Would the fact I danced in strip clubs get me turned down for military service? I didn't do it for very long and also did not get involved in any of the drugs or alcohol or <coughs> less than legal activities in the private rooms, but I know it's something that'll look bad nonetheless. And now that my application is already submitted, is it something I should (or even can?) change? There's not much of a paper trail linking me to it. Everything was paid in cash and I haven't gotten any T4's, so I'm guessing the clubs aren't filing any taxes or employment info. I am leaning towards telling the recruiters though, because I'm sure it's big shit if you get caught omitting something like that, and I hate this feeling you get in the pit of your stomach when you think you might get caught doing something bad.

Bleh. Stupid.

Any constructive suggestions would be greatly appreciated but please keep any flames to yourselves, I'm doing a good enough job beating myself up for being stupid on my own.

Thanks.

 

[aesop081]

i can't relate to your dilema but i can tell you that in my experience, if you are honest on the forms they give you...it'll all work out.  Besides, you may not have like the work you were doing but it is honest work.. You were not a criminal so you should be ok.

Thats my take on it, other may disagree

 

[Strike]

Although not completely related I have a friend who was a DJ in a club in Quebec city.  Not sure if he put it on the application but everyone he worked with knew about his former job.

 

[Tpr.Orange]

Admitting what you have done is the best possible practice. Plus it shows that you were able to get yourself out of a bad financial situations, and you can deal with it.

 

[CrashBear]

Honesty is always the best route to take. Trust me as an ex MP they will find out when they do the security screening.  It may make a difference if you are applying for certain positions.  If anything your finaincial difficulties may be more of a concern.

 

[Navalsnpr]

Definitely being forthcoming with the recruiters is the best route.

Honesty appears to be the best policy when walking into DND's front door.

 

[TCBF]

Considering the number of soldiers I have seen in strip clubs over the years, I see no moral high ground between watching the dancers or being one.    Most of the dancers I saw appeared to be in better physical condition than some of the soldiers watching them.

I doubt too many recruiters will be shocked at your story.

Best of luck with your career.

Tom

 

[Gunner]

sarahj, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are involved in honest and legal work.  You don't mention what trade you are going into, so it entirely possible that they are just conducting the enhanced reliability check which is fairly cursory and may or may not state what you were doing.  Certainly if you are required to have a higher security clearance, some questions may be asked of your past activities. 

Bottom line, as many others have stated, honesty is the best policy.  How can you be a good soldier if you are not honest? 

Having said that, don't go advertising to your army buddies that you were a stripper, you don't need that type of attention.

Good luck.

 

[Sh0rtbUs]

Having said that, don't go advertising to your army buddies that you were a stripper, you don't need that type of attention.

Good luck.

I was thinking the same thing. Be careful who you confide in...

 

[kincanucks]

We don't care if you dance in a strip club or on a ballet stage but you had better be able to account for your employment history honestly.  Get the application back and enter the information.  I think I have interviewed about ten current or former strippers in recruiting (and liesurely) and we don't care if you were a stripper.  Good luck.  ;D

 

[sarahj]

Thank you very much everbody for the responses, it was very difficult for me to write that. I'm working on tracking down the employer info I need today, will hopefully have it all in to the person handling my file tomorrow, and I'm feeling much better about things already.

 

[Sh0rtbUs]

Good luck, keep us posted on how you fair out!

 

[MeFandE]

Hi Sarah,

I wish you the very best of luck in your career and a strong congrats on surviving in this world and moving forward with your life!

There is one point I really want to make to you.

You do NOT want army wives to ever find out that you were a dancer. It doesn't matter if the army wife is a good friend - she may tell her husband or other friends and it would be sent around to everyone else at the speed of bloody light!

It's difficult enough at times being female in the military as it can be hard to figure out where you fit in. Are you one of the guys or one of the girls or both? But if the "wives net" gets a hold of this information your situation would be even more difficult. Not all military wives are like this but many will run with the story and before you know it the facts will be stretched so that the truth is completely unrecognizable.

I'm not army wife bashing here. I'm just stating how it can be. I've been one for 15 years. (where's my CD ;D )

You shouldn't be embarrassed of your past - it's done. God knows we've all done things that make our stomachs tie in knots when we think about them. It's just best to keep some things to yourself, not out of shame, but out of self-preservation.
Believe me, I have a few secrets that will go to the grave with me rather than be sent around the bloody PMQ patch.

When it comes to trusting people with Top Secret information I always remember one thing my grandfather always said.

â Å“I never tell anyone a secret told to me. Not even to your grandmother. If I can't keep my mouth shut about something secret what makes me think she'll be able to do it.â ?

I hope you don't mind my taking the liberty to post this message. I know it doesn't answer your question but I hoped you wouldn't mind my addressing the situation. Military wives can be like a pack of bloody wolves, especially if they see a pretty young woman in uniform standing next to their husbands. Give me a break!

Take care! Be strong!

 

[TCBF]

VERY good advice.  Me F and E.

(And I DO get the DF&E joke.)

Tom

 

[Gouki]

Besides SarahJ, if they were to turn you down because of that (which has already been established that they won't) they may as well kick out a fair number of the guys already in the military who have done or are doing far, far worse than stripping for cash. You should hear some of the shit that happens in Shilo, it makes your stripping history look like childsplay in comparison.

So .. don't worry about it

 

[Pieman]

So what I ended up doing was dancing in strip clubs part time on the side for a couple months to pay off my student loans.

Ah, the student loan system. Forcing a certain percentage of Canada's recently educated into poverty, exotic dancing, and perhaps worse everywhere.

SarahJ, if you are having further problems with your loans, or want some good general information, this is a good resource:

http://www.canadastudentdebt.ca

Some of the stories on that forum are pretty nuts.

 

[Trinity]

Its always better to be 100% truthful on your application...

who knows how many years down the road if they found something wrong
and you get processed out for irregular enrolement.

100% truth....

I know people who had criminal records and didn't say cause they were afraid.
Didnt' get in..  not beause they had a criminal record, but because they lied.

The military just wants the truth.

 

[Dissident]

Honesty is by far the best route to take.

I don't have much to back the following comments, so don't take me too seriously. Considering the the type of background checks the army does, I doubt that they would ever find out, or want to find out. I had a very shamefull job for a while, to help pay for college, that I did not mention at anytime to the army. Technicaly, me not telling the army that I was a mascott for a couple of months may be grounds for dismissal. Or when I was cleaning the Zellers washroom on the night shift. Who here thinks that the CF would really care?

I have met self proclaim ex strippers in the army, so really it wont stop you from joining. The choice is yours.

 

[sarahj]

I sent my file manager the relevant information today, we talked a bit on the phone, and now I have appointments booked.  ;D

Thanks again, everybody, lots of good advice!

 

[Navalsnpr]

Sarahj, Good to hear!

Good Luck