Any favourite BMQ memories?
- Thread starter a_future_clerk
- Start date
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 60
1.) Finding a deer carcus and having my 2IC put the skull on a stick, making it talk.
2.) Discovering not to ever EVER choose Omelette and Salsa IMP for breakfast.
3.) My MCpl telling a guy that he looks like he's been raped by a dragon.
4.) Having my instructor set off a paraflare which bounced off a tree and missed some kids by a couple of feet.
2.) Discovering not to ever EVER choose Omelette and Salsa IMP for breakfast.
3.) My MCpl telling a guy that he looks like he's been raped by a dragon.
4.) Having my instructor set off a paraflare which bounced off a tree and missed some kids by a couple of feet.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 60
1) When we were told to line up with our leave passes and one by one, march up to the paper shredder (proper drill), salute the machine, and feed the leave pass into it. It was so hard not to laugh.
2) When we were being 'attacked' and our staff was playing enemy force... Sgt was running around like crazy and yelling "I want your women!" the whole time. And after the battle, the four females in our platoon were summoned to the staff tent. We got there and he was like "what are you doing here?" and we said "you asked for us, Sgt", and he answered "good... now beat it".
2) When we were being 'attacked' and our staff was playing enemy force... Sgt was running around like crazy and yelling "I want your women!" the whole time. And after the battle, the four females in our platoon were summoned to the staff tent. We got there and he was like "what are you doing here?" and we said "you asked for us, Sgt", and he answered "good... now beat it".
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
1) I was section senior and was doing the whole walk through inspect write down points, anyways we get to one guy who usually gets jacked up for something everyday, so the mcpl is checking and gets to his towel to check if its labeled it was(the mcpl didn't consider it labeled unless it was facing the front).But being suspicious he checks the other side and there was another label, so the mcpl flips out "BLOGGINS WTF IS THIS YOU TRYING TO BEAT THE SYSTEM!!!" I could barely refrain from bursting out in laughter.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 10
Wow Hawk .. saw this after the other on the Tattoo. You are who I thought! I roared when I read what you had written above. How well I remember Barb P****s! She and I think Lee E***s (remember? Lee's father & gf upper deck, one a legend in wartime RCN) were the two practicing in the dark. They were trying to be quiet, but with no doors on our cabins, and their's right next to N's, they weren't doing a very good job of it.
If I recall rightly, I think it was also Barb who made the quip to N. after the 2h march. What would we have done if she'd made us do it again! Had that beeen N*******t (upper deck Wren), she would have sent us back out. Lord that woman had it in for me for quite a while ... until the day I went after Lorraine H. with something akin to murder in my heart (another story).
We were the class of the 'Midnight Ironers' .. lol .. between rounds. Remember taking off our pjs to iron, as they too had to be included in the kit muster but weren't suppose to have even a tiny wrinkle or crease in them. An upper deck always did rounds with one of our lot the night before a kit muster .. to make sure we were in our cots with our pjs on, heads on pillows, with the cases on them as well!
If I recall rightly, I think it was also Barb who made the quip to N. after the 2h march. What would we have done if she'd made us do it again! Had that beeen N*******t (upper deck Wren), she would have sent us back out. Lord that woman had it in for me for quite a while ... until the day I went after Lorraine H. with something akin to murder in my heart (another story).
We were the class of the 'Midnight Ironers' .. lol .. between rounds. Remember taking off our pjs to iron, as they too had to be included in the kit muster but weren't suppose to have even a tiny wrinkle or crease in them. An upper deck always did rounds with one of our lot the night before a kit muster .. to make sure we were in our cots with our pjs on, heads on pillows, with the cases on them as well!
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 10
To Hawk again ...
Do you remember when we were all called up, stood at attention, while being asked to own up to which one (or more) were blackballing the upper deck? None of us knew what the heck PO & N****n were talking about. Kept us like that for ages, with not a peep out of any of the 47 of us (Lorraine H****n was gone by then). At long last, the MOST UNLIKELY of us, except maybe Scottie, quietly said, "It was me." Margaret Ann A******e. She was middle watch, bored out of her mind, afraid she was going to fall asleep (could be hung from the yardarm for that offence) .. in looking for something to do, it occurred to her that Christmas was exactly 4 months away. By that time we'd have all gone in different directions, perhaps never to cross paths again. It saddened her, so she decided to make Christmas trees for each cabin with a door .. of couse that left those of us on the lower deck out 'cause we didn't have them on our cabins, though PO & N did. Next rounds, she put the trees up. Trees looked kind of bare, so back in the reg office she hunted around for paper of another colour. All she could find was black (can't recall if it was actually carbon paper) .. it would have to do as Christmas tree ornaments. She cut out loads of them. Next rounds, she stuck them on all the trees. She had the purest of intentions ... they were positive they'd been blackballed.
Do you remember when we were all called up, stood at attention, while being asked to own up to which one (or more) were blackballing the upper deck? None of us knew what the heck PO & N****n were talking about. Kept us like that for ages, with not a peep out of any of the 47 of us (Lorraine H****n was gone by then). At long last, the MOST UNLIKELY of us, except maybe Scottie, quietly said, "It was me." Margaret Ann A******e. She was middle watch, bored out of her mind, afraid she was going to fall asleep (could be hung from the yardarm for that offence) .. in looking for something to do, it occurred to her that Christmas was exactly 4 months away. By that time we'd have all gone in different directions, perhaps never to cross paths again. It saddened her, so she decided to make Christmas trees for each cabin with a door .. of couse that left those of us on the lower deck out 'cause we didn't have them on our cabins, though PO & N did. Next rounds, she put the trees up. Trees looked kind of bare, so back in the reg office she hunted around for paper of another colour. All she could find was black (can't recall if it was actually carbon paper) .. it would have to do as Christmas tree ornaments. She cut out loads of them. Next rounds, she stuck them on all the trees. She had the purest of intentions ... they were positive they'd been blackballed.
A number of good memories came up but that one is my best:
Lined up in the flats during inspection, and some poor sod had left his underwear on a hook in the men's shower room (it MIGHT have been me... :-X ). One of our PO's put the underwear on the end of a mop and walked up and down the flats solemnly while we got yelled at by another instructor. Classic...
Lined up in the flats during inspection, and some poor sod had left his underwear on a hook in the men's shower room (it MIGHT have been me... :-X ). One of our PO's put the underwear on the end of a mop and walked up and down the flats solemnly while we got yelled at by another instructor. Classic...
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 10
Thinking of my days in NET made me recall my Mum telling me about her first morning after arriving for basic. The prior few years had been spent in a convent, as her eldest sister was an Army Nursing Sister, one brother was in the Army, one brother RN, father RAF and mother was dead. Every morning at the convent, immediately after rising, they had to go down on their knees and say: Jesus, Mary & Joseph, I give you my life.
In 1943, upon her 16th birthday, Mum signed up with the WRNS, arriving for basic one early evening, dead beat from the trip. Cabins and bunks were quickly assigned, then soon afterwards all were fast asleep. Wakey-wakey piped in pitch black ... Mum immediately threw herself out of bed to go down on her knees with the usual: Jesus, Mary & Joseph, I give you my life.
She said; " .. and I almost did ... I was in a top bunk."
In 1943, upon her 16th birthday, Mum signed up with the WRNS, arriving for basic one early evening, dead beat from the trip. Cabins and bunks were quickly assigned, then soon afterwards all were fast asleep. Wakey-wakey piped in pitch black ... Mum immediately threw herself out of bed to go down on her knees with the usual: Jesus, Mary & Joseph, I give you my life.
She said; " .. and I almost did ... I was in a top bunk."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Toni-
Sorry the last message was so short - the phone rang. I forgot what I wrote in the past - the black lace panties incident? the UNTD's coming through the ironing room window? Water fights, toilet papering PO's door. I'll PM you the life details a little later - have to go to the bank.
Hawk
Sorry the last message was so short - the phone rang. I forgot what I wrote in the past - the black lace panties incident? the UNTD's coming through the ironing room window? Water fights, toilet papering PO's door. I'll PM you the life details a little later - have to go to the bank.
Hawk
medicineman
Army.ca Legend
- Reaction score
- 3,783
- Points
- 1,110
I was able to imitate one of my MCpl's so well people would all but crap their pants if I snuck up behind them and started talking like him...one morning in about 7th week, one of the platoon drunks was sleeping in at around 0900 when everyone was up working, so I got somone to call room, and then yelled "(Name of person), what the Jesus are you still doing in bed at this un Godly hour?". Dude in question is about 6'4" and in the bottom bunk - he literally levitated in a horizontal position and snapped up to attention in his gonch, white as a sheet...Same guy on our grad night was put intot he shower, in his CF's, by one of our jokers. So buddy is showering away in his S3's when our platoon WO and one of his minions wanders in. "So and So, what the f*&k are you doing in the shower in uniform??!!" The MCpl was giggling, then lost it when numb nuts looks up, flips the WO the bird and suggested he commit an impossible sexual act upon himself...apparently he was on extras for a week after he started battle school.
MM
MM
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
A couple of my favourite moments:
1: While on the field-ex during BMQ, a MCpl who always picked on Pte Bloggins calls out
"Pte. Bloggins, are you sleeping?"
Pte. Bloggins responds "Yes."
MCpl retorts "Yes who?"
Bloggins corrects himself "Yes, Master!"
2: The day following a weekend off, another Pte. leaves his guitar out after our civvy kit is locked up for the week, so he tries to hide it under his bed. Immediately, our Platoon Warrant finds it, and makes him play and sing Christmas songs for the rest of the inspection.
1: While on the field-ex during BMQ, a MCpl who always picked on Pte Bloggins calls out
"Pte. Bloggins, are you sleeping?"
Pte. Bloggins responds "Yes."
MCpl retorts "Yes who?"
Bloggins corrects himself "Yes, Master!"
2: The day following a weekend off, another Pte. leaves his guitar out after our civvy kit is locked up for the week, so he tries to hide it under his bed. Immediately, our Platoon Warrant finds it, and makes him play and sing Christmas songs for the rest of the inspection.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
Doing PT with one of our MS. He's demonstrating an exercise, and calls one of us forward. The guy replies "sup?" The MS asks "What did you say?" "sup, master seaman."
The same MS takes his section out at Farnham for the plane-crash mission. They march for like 5km to the plane wreckage, at 2AM and in the driving rain. They get and find it deserted, no injured pilots, no bad guys. Turns out it was the wrong plane. The one they were supposed to be at was literally across the road from the FOB.
My section Sgt was one of the best pistol shots in the country, having won loads of competitions, including the US Army marksmanship competition. Anyway, one of us over a weekend goes online and googles his name. He finds a nice picture of the Sgt, this one in fact: http://www.mdn.ca/site/commun/ml-fe/images/articles/fullSize/11-36-20d.jpg
So he prints off a dozen copies and the whole section has them in our picture frames for the next inspection. Priceless.
We're on the final day of Farnham, and the whole platoon is just going nuts with ammo expenditure. My FTP is having a rough time, jamming on what seems like every second shot. So one of our staff yells at me for some reason, "You shoot like old people f**k, slow and sloppy!!"
During a morning inspection, one guy thinks the inspection is over so he rushes to the toilet to take a well-needed dump. Little does he know the WO hasn't inspected the washroom yet. Hilarity ensures.
We're practicing tying swiss seats one day, and another of our Sgt's grabs a guys carabiner and pulls straight up. Hard. The guys feet leave the ground. The Sgt walks away and says 'Nice seat, Pte bloggins", while he's staggering around clutching his groin.
So many great memories.........
The same MS takes his section out at Farnham for the plane-crash mission. They march for like 5km to the plane wreckage, at 2AM and in the driving rain. They get and find it deserted, no injured pilots, no bad guys. Turns out it was the wrong plane. The one they were supposed to be at was literally across the road from the FOB.
My section Sgt was one of the best pistol shots in the country, having won loads of competitions, including the US Army marksmanship competition. Anyway, one of us over a weekend goes online and googles his name. He finds a nice picture of the Sgt, this one in fact: http://www.mdn.ca/site/commun/ml-fe/images/articles/fullSize/11-36-20d.jpg
So he prints off a dozen copies and the whole section has them in our picture frames for the next inspection. Priceless.
We're on the final day of Farnham, and the whole platoon is just going nuts with ammo expenditure. My FTP is having a rough time, jamming on what seems like every second shot. So one of our staff yells at me for some reason, "You shoot like old people f**k, slow and sloppy!!"
During a morning inspection, one guy thinks the inspection is over so he rushes to the toilet to take a well-needed dump. Little does he know the WO hasn't inspected the washroom yet. Hilarity ensures.
We're practicing tying swiss seats one day, and another of our Sgt's grabs a guys carabiner and pulls straight up. Hard. The guys feet leave the ground. The Sgt walks away and says 'Nice seat, Pte bloggins", while he's staggering around clutching his groin.
So many great memories.........
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
On my course the staff gave us a quote to recite during PT when instructed too.
Instructor: Why do we do PT?
Course: To Feed the warrior within!
Instructor: Why do we feed the warrior?
Course: To kill the weakness within!
Anyways, one morning, the usual sleep f***ed candidate was asked individually why do we do PT. he replied with "for sex appeal MBdr" at the top of his lungs. The MBdr couldnt hold back his smile and we continued to PT. Suffice to say, that was the first time on my bmq that we did not receive Confirmation Of Combat Knowledge for a wrong answer.
Does anyone have any good sleep deprivation stories from crse?
Instructor: Why do we do PT?
Course: To Feed the warrior within!
Instructor: Why do we feed the warrior?
Course: To kill the weakness within!
Anyways, one morning, the usual sleep f***ed candidate was asked individually why do we do PT. he replied with "for sex appeal MBdr" at the top of his lungs. The MBdr couldnt hold back his smile and we continued to PT. Suffice to say, that was the first time on my bmq that we did not receive Confirmation Of Combat Knowledge for a wrong answer.
Does anyone have any good sleep deprivation stories from crse?
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Mine is priceless...we were on shooting range, in Valcartier, The CSM arrives, I'm a recruit, watching the gate...
I don't know who is is and my SGT told me to let no one on the range unless he authorised it...So i stop his truck
and ask him who is he...and he start yelling at me...telling me i should know who he was... blablabla...
The funny thing is that the guy has no apparent neck...his head is huge...and as he is screaming shit and scaring me
shit out of me...my Sgt arrives running...he had heard the CSM's screams over 300m away....
he let the CSM in...and CSM went to do his stuff.. and again a few minutes ago I hear the guy scream again about
the same thing to someone else....
No need to metion that during the evening we had a "talk" with our WO...explain us...to know who were the staff
around...doing push up and laughing about the situation.
I don't know who is is and my SGT told me to let no one on the range unless he authorised it...So i stop his truck
and ask him who is he...and he start yelling at me...telling me i should know who he was... blablabla...
The funny thing is that the guy has no apparent neck...his head is huge...and as he is screaming shit and scaring me
shit out of me...my Sgt arrives running...he had heard the CSM's screams over 300m away....
he let the CSM in...and CSM went to do his stuff.. and again a few minutes ago I hear the guy scream again about
the same thing to someone else....
No need to metion that during the evening we had a "talk" with our WO...explain us...to know who were the staff
around...doing push up and laughing about the situation.
- Reaction score
- 1,518
- Points
- 1,140
My favorite memory? Leaving the darn place.
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
On night one, about hour three, a Sgt. was walking past my room. He saw my name, exclaimed "Holy crap!" and stormed into the room. "Which one of you is Pte. *****?" "I am (awkward stare at his slip on while my brain slowly translated 3 hooks into) sergeant!" I replied. "Are you Scottish?" He asks, still in a stern Sgt. tone. I answered "vaguely." He stood, staring blankly at me, then asked "What the f*** is that supposed to mean?" I told him I was somewhat Scottish on my dad's side of the family. Turns out he wanted to know if I was a C Scott, as there is a VC winner, originally of the C Scotts who was a private with the same name as me.
As I write that one out, I realize it may be one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I had a good chuckle about it.
One of the dudes in the room next to mine had sandals made of hemp. Apparently the 'hemp' logo was visible along the top of the sandals. One morning during inspection, our Section Commander saw it and launched into a larger than normal tirade.
"What the F*** is this Private *******? Goddamned dope sandals? Are you some kind of hippie? What do you do with these things? Roll them up and smoke them after a long day? OR do you just get high wearing them around?!?!?!?"
Now, generally we would play games with the room across the hall, each room trying to get the other to laugh out loud during an inspection, but this particular morning we pretty both lost.
The same MCpl orchestrated a pretty fantastic kit bomb one day too, when one room left their door unlocked during a classroom session. As we were all paraded along the hallway to survey the damage, I let out a big impressed whistle. The MCpl heard this and delivered a surprisingly accurate Sgt. Hartmann routine. I got the whole "You will unf*** yourself, or I will unscrew your head and crap down your neck!" I'm glad my back was to him as I giggled my *** off moving down the hallway.
Last of the standouts for me was the 'Dance of Shame' orchestrated by one of our MCpls. He had one of the recruits do it any time we all screwed up. It was a pretty shameful looking soft shoe shuffle, head held low, eyes staring at the ground. "You! Dance of shame. Do this now!" So hard not to laugh through this one too.
As I write that one out, I realize it may be one of those "you had to be there" moments, but I had a good chuckle about it.
One of the dudes in the room next to mine had sandals made of hemp. Apparently the 'hemp' logo was visible along the top of the sandals. One morning during inspection, our Section Commander saw it and launched into a larger than normal tirade.
"What the F*** is this Private *******? Goddamned dope sandals? Are you some kind of hippie? What do you do with these things? Roll them up and smoke them after a long day? OR do you just get high wearing them around?!?!?!?"
Now, generally we would play games with the room across the hall, each room trying to get the other to laugh out loud during an inspection, but this particular morning we pretty both lost.
The same MCpl orchestrated a pretty fantastic kit bomb one day too, when one room left their door unlocked during a classroom session. As we were all paraded along the hallway to survey the damage, I let out a big impressed whistle. The MCpl heard this and delivered a surprisingly accurate Sgt. Hartmann routine. I got the whole "You will unf*** yourself, or I will unscrew your head and crap down your neck!" I'm glad my back was to him as I giggled my *** off moving down the hallway.
Last of the standouts for me was the 'Dance of Shame' orchestrated by one of our MCpls. He had one of the recruits do it any time we all screwed up. It was a pretty shameful looking soft shoe shuffle, head held low, eyes staring at the ground. "You! Dance of shame. Do this now!" So hard not to laugh through this one too.
Haha, I remember when we went out on a cam mission. One guy fell asleep in the field. The whole course went out looking for him. Took about an hour before we realized he slowly staggered back to base without notifying anyone. haha. We all got in shit for that one.
