Any favourite BMQ memories?

[CADPAT SOLDIER]

Sargeant "Pte.Bloggings Whats 14 times 6"
me- "I'm not sure Sargeant, I'm not that good at math, thats why I joined the army"
and then having all the course staffs eyes on me
Sargeant #2 "Are you Saying people in the army are incapible of doing math!!?!?"
Me- "I ment to Say 'Thats why I didn't join Artillery'"

 

[BergD]

LOL THAT'S HALRIOUS, Bloggins!

 

[BootStrap]

My roommates told me of something like that I did. That week we had been learning about patrols, and had, naturally, been practising our parade drills with the invisible C7s. So one of the buddies is on weapons sentry, so when he's revived to "patrol the corridors," up I get in my tartan boxers and some shirt and start doing the walk around barefoot with my arms at the ready position. "What are you doing?"

"I don't know."

All I remember is going back to bed.

"Another good memory was during the field ex. The Section to our right is being bumped, and from 50 ft out, a MCpl tosses a smoke grenade. It arcs over the head of the fireteam, hits the mound behind their trench, and rolls in.
"GAS GAS GAS MOTHERF*****S!!"
To this they pull out their gas masks not, but continue throwing blanks and words at the enemy force. Eventually, the smoke builds so thick, they can't breathe. They throw down their weapons and roll out of the trench, and are promptly machine gunned at point blank by their charging grenadier. Freaking awesome. They had green heads for days".

Hey Zartan I believe I was on your SQ course (4 Section Right?)... Anyway...
This story also involves you. You and a couple of the guy's went to a bar the weekend after the field ex (Week Three I believe) and you got so drunk that you got thrown out so you walk from the entrance to the other side of the street, do an about turn and lift your leg (Stork Like) and hold this position for about a minute, you then walk back towards cowboy and when he asks you what you are doing you reply "I' am trying to prove to that guy that I' am not drunk" (pointing towards the bouncer). You then fall over.

When cowboy told me this story the day after, I fell over laughing (no seriously I couldn't stop for like two minutes, remember I was the guy who laughed at practically everything), It still brings tears to my eyes whenever I think about it.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

 

[BootStrap]

Oh Yeah to add:

1.) The weekend before the field ex we were staying up all night getting drunk and watching movies in the rec room and one of the guy's (Lets call him Bloggins) had to go to the washroom but instead of going to the washroom he walks to a window and takes a wizz out of the third story window (TWICE) the second time one of our Mcpl's was in the parking lot below (good thing he didn't see bloggins relieving himself out of the window).

2.) Bloggins teabagging a drunk engineer corporal.
3.) This was from our BMQ... We got the second weekend off so after getting some beer, we got drunk (this was my first time getting drunk) so on of the guy's from my section tells me I had too much to drink so he helps me get to my room. But Instead of going to my dorm. I walked towards a dorm belonging to some of the reg force guys and I proceeded to knock on this door for about three minutes, until my buddy tells me it's not my dorm so he helps me towards mine and I proceeded to knock on the door for about a good two to three minutes when my buddy asks me If I have a key I respond "yes" and show him the key. I then continue to knock on the door for another five minutes until one of my roomates opeans the door.

 

[b_frovich]

-farting while marching
-having the section 2 i/c ask while we were marching yell "Hey F*****H, I heard you were got caught whackin off in the showers!"
(not true by the way haha)
-trying not to laugh on inspections
-OH damn i almost forgot...one day on the parade square in shilo, we were practicing wheeling and stuff, and the instructor was on the right of the 3 ranks, walking counter-clockwise around the parade square, and he smashed his face on the flagpole..hahaha good times

 

[andpro]

During NBCDW class
Sgt: Pte what is the acronym used for the different levels of readiness during an attack? (MOPP)
Pte A: Ummmm..... BILL? 

during the same class:
Sgt: what is one possable vector for a chemical attack?
Pte B: Ummmm ..... fish?

 

[Jaydub]

The previous day's inspection, someone had forgot to pack their wool socks with their gear.  The whole course got reamed out and basically warned that there would be hell to pay if such a careless mistake were to occur again.

The next day, right before inspection, I was tasked by the course senior to check everyone's gear to ensure that everyone had their wool socks.  I checked everyone's stuff expect mine, because I hadn't unpacked them from the day before and was sure they were still there.

Guess who didn't have their wool socks...  The course was reamed harder than before, and I wasn't a very popular guy for the next couple days.

Whatever the hell happened to those socks remains a mystery to me, even to this day.

 

[CADPAT SOLDIER]

-farting while marching
-having the section 2 i/c ask while we were marching yell "Hey F*****H, I heard you were got caught whackin off in the showers!"
(not true by the way haha)
-trying not to laugh on inspections
-OH damn i almost forgot...one day on the parade square in shilo, we were practicing wheeling and stuff, and the instructor was on the right of the 3 ranks, walking counter-clockwise around the parade square, and he smashed his face on the flagpole..hahaha good times

Why would you block out your name Frovich? It's in your screen name lol.

Now I have to tell Brett laydoan and Nick Mieln and all those guys including all the hot chicks from choir you got caught wacking off in the Showers,
Plus stop telling my friends to join Sigs, I found them first and they belong to the useful part of the army now.

 

[Cardstonkid]

A recruit of limited verbal capacity was asking questions about a talk the CO had given all the recruits.In his attempts to call say the Officer's Rank he called the course CO a Colon! Of course he meant Lt. Colonel The Sgt. was in shock and couldn't speak! Fortunately the course CO had already left the room.

 

[MdB]

Morning inspection, my roommate answers to the sergeant without mentionning his rank at the end of the sentence, here's the following:
Sgt: Yes, what?
Ocdt: Yes.
Sgt: Yes, what!? Am I a dog??
Ocdt: Yes.
Sgt: What!?
Ocdt: Uh, no. I mean, no Sgt.

Hmmm, hard not to laugh out loud when you're next door and next to be inspected.

Last week highlight while in Farnham. In the evening, we were in 10-man tents and chilling out. One guy is telling us about his best sex with a girl. And he's being particularly explicit and it's pretty horny. He was almost at the end of his story when someone is entering the tent. Because, people were coming and going, we don't really realise who it is when we turn our head and there is in front of us the course commander (Cpt). We all stop speaking in a weird kind of way. There's like a full 3-4 second of silence when the Cpt asks us what we're talking about. Another guy answers right away we were discussing about the day and that kind of stuff. When he left, we were so laughing out loud!! Really a good moment.

 

[Trooper Hale]

Last week highlight while in Farnham. In the evening, we were in 10-man tents and chilling out. One guy is telling us about his best sex with a girl. And he's being particularly explicit and it's pretty horny. He was almost at the end of his story when someone is entering the tent. Because, people were coming and going, we don't really realise who it is when we turn our head and there is in front of us the course commander (Cpt). We all stop speaking in a weird kind of way. There's like a full 3-4 second of silence when the Cpt asks us what we're talking about. Another guy answers right away we were discussing about the day and that kind of stuff. When he left, we were so laughing out loud!! Really a good moment.

Its when the boss walks in and start telling you about his own personal sexcapades that things get humourous. We got a Sir over here who'll walk in, sit down and before you know it start telling you stories. I'd follow that man anywhere, if only to find out if he's serious about what he tells us about!

 

[Desert Fox]

On my QL2 we had lockers where we kept our kit, and the staff would come around and enusre we always locked them. One day we had the pleasure of doing some "show parades" and one member managed to forgot to lock his locker. We got sent down with the near impossible task of getting changed into PT kit and being back on the parade square in somthing like 5min.... we get down to our lockers and his is cleaned out, they took everything, the lock itself as well... so within the course we managed to pull together a come up with a set of PT gear for him, the shoes where 2 sizes to small. the shorts came from the biggest guy on the course and pratically dragged, while the t-shirt was a filthy smelly thing some one forget to take home and wash.... we managed to make the timing, or we were close enough that the staff was impressed by our drive..... The ended up dickin him around before letting him have his kit back, but it was a good laugh none the less....

 

[BDTyre]

There's been some pretty good ones and I'm only about half way through a weekend course.

One night, at about 0300 apparently a drunken uni student showed up at the armoury and tried to get in.  The members of my section who were on picket were polite enough in trying to get him to leave, but once he saw the rifles, he stopped midsentence and told the guys to "take whatever they wanted."

I also got accused of being a metrosexual when my bright red, licorice scented soap was discovered on morning inspection.

At the end of one weekend, my sec. cmdr stated that the Mark IIIs looked good with spandex, and we should wear them to a fetish club but if we see him there, we don't know him.

While being taught our navigation skills, the instructor revealed that on one course, a recruit had actually asked if the training area had the grid marked out.  The instructor actually told him no!  (If it was me, I would have told him, no, it has to be done when we get there, so he gets to carry the grid reference squares).

But the best has to be learning about CF General Safety Program and meeting our course mascto, Maj General Safety Program, a sock puppet of senior officer rank.  He was given to the tender hands of 3 Section, and his aide had to bring the General over to say hello to the entire course staff.  All of a sudden we hear "He's a Major General, he sounds more aggressive than that!"  And the course senior and the aide had to ensure a plate was grabbed for the General and that the General had eaten.

 

[medic269]

Practicing left and right inclines on the march:

MCpl:  "Leeeeeeeft incline!"

Troops:  *check pivot shuffle shuffle bump bump turn fall etc...*

MCpl:  "Halt halt halt!!!!!!  Look around troops what formation are you in?!?!"

Troops:  Gaze around like lost deer.  "Not sure MCpl!"

MCpl:  "A gaggle F**K!!!!!!"

Same MCpl addressing a recruit laughing in ranks:

MCpl:  "What's so f***ing funny Bloggins?  I'll march you around this parade square 'til you disappear inside your own arsehole!!!"

 

[medaid]

So...on my BOTP2 cours (do they still have that?) I had hurriedly bought herbal essence shampoo the night before inspection. So my Sect Comd walks in during inspection, a nice laid back kind of guy, takes one look into my drawer...and says


Sgt: Uh....what the hell is that Mr.XXXX?
Me: It's my soap, toothbrush...
Sgt: I KNOW what's HERE...but I want to know WHAT THE HELL IS THIS! (Holds up a the herbal essence)
Me: It's my shampoo Sgt.
Sgt: *sigh* My....you do like smelling pretty dont you?!
Me: All for my troops Sgt.
Sgt: *laughs* (walks out the door without inspecting the rest of my Section) 

 

[BDTyre]

Okay, so for whatever reason I tend to average between 46 and 51 seconds on hand loading a mag.  I don't know why, I just tend to get a lot of jams, at least with the dummy rounds.

So everyone was fairly impressed when one timing was 52 seconds and the very next timing, only a minute or so later, was down to 31 seconds.  Now if only I can do that on my test!

Rumour is that someone in the platoon did 27 seconds.

 

[one_speed]

okay, Comm Res School Shilo spring 2006 (some of the best instructors I have come across... ever...mil and civi)

1) C7 weapons test - firing on a moving target L to R, MCpl examining me (I'm a NO)

Me - " first thing I would do Master Corporal is proceed from left to right and as I passed my patient  I would squeeze the trigger to fire a round, following though to the right"

MCpl - "what was that"

Me - " umm.. I would proceed from the left, and as I passed my patient I would fire a round, following through to the right.

MC pl - "are your sure that is what you would do ?"

Me - (shaking) " yes Master Corporal, I'd proceed from left to right, firing my rifle as I passed my pateint, following through to the right.

MCpl - Holy  , remind me never to come to your emergency if I am sick.


Honestly, anybody that spent any time in the B hall at the Regional ER would understand.  really...

 

[sober_ruski]

okay, Comm Res School Shilo spring 2006 (some of the best instructors I have come across... ever...mil and civi)

Casey?

 

[R933ex]

Favorite memory Humm. Militia course in 1989. Had a young guy on the course who wanted to be a medic, wasn't to smart though. During first aid training our warrant, who also happened to be a medic kept picking on this poor lad to do demonstrations etc. One day we were doing the primary survey and this is what happened.

Warrant: "Bloggins when doing the head tilt chin lift what are you looking for?"
Bloggins: <As quiet as a mouse> " Objects Warrant."
Warrant: "What was that the course didn't hear you!"
Bloggins: "Objects Warrant"
Warrant: "Gonads Bloggins Gonads "
Bloggins: <Louder voice that could be heard for miles away> "Gonads, Warrant you check their throat for Gonads!"
Warrant: <trying not to laugh> "Bloggins what type of soldier puts gonads down their throat?"
Bloggins: "The Artillery does Warrant!"

Half the course was artillery and this guy went on to do a lot of work with the artillery as a medic.

 

[BDTyre]

Just recently had another memorable experience...nearly being hit by a falling tree when the wind kicked up.  And sleeping in an arctic tent with liners that didn't quite line up...no stove or lantern for us.  And having to run 1km up hill in the snow because buddy lost his fifth mag on a hillside in Chilliwack.  We actually found it in less than five minutes.