Venezuela and President Hugo Chavez Prepare For War With U.S.

[3rd Herd]

Venezuela and President Hugo Chavez Prepare For War With U.S.

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez prepared his nation for war against the United States today during a speech in Caracas. He warned his countrymen that people might die, but that destroying the enemy to the north must be their objective.

Chavez recently purchased tanks, fighter jets, and rifles from some of the former Russian republics. He failed, however, to purchase ammunition of fuel for any of these.

The President for Life also took out advertisements in newspapers in New York, Los Angeles, Dallas, Chicago, London, Jerusalem, Moscow, Tokyo, and Paris looking for "anyone who can fly a SU-30 Sukhoi fighter jet against Los Estados Unidos and earn many thousands of pesos and the love of millions."


When asked how he would fuel the jets and tanks, he said that "We have lots of oil."

When asked how he would get them to the United States without having any aircraft carriers, mid-air refuelers, or military bases between Venezuala and America, he said "There's lots of airports we can stop at. My pilots will all carry Chevron cards, so buying more gas won't be a problem."

When asked how his tanks would reach American soil, he said, "We'll ship them Federal Express. They guarantee overnight delivery."

When asked what ammunition the planes and tanks would use, he said, "We may have to pick something up at Wal-Mart or an army surplus store. They have everything."

When asked if there was a precident for what he was doing, he said "I read The Mouse That Roared and saw the movie. If Grand Fenwick can do it, so can I!"
http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s3i20969

 

[karl28]

Now that was funny

 

[3rd Herd]

On October 12 1997, a film crew from a new TV-series called Earth Undercover gained access to the Water Land dolphins in Venezuela. The film crew, along with US dolphin activist Ric O'Barry (posing as a vacationing dolphin trainer from the Miami Seaquarium), was allowed to inspect and photograph the animals. Water Land road manager, Ruben Roca explained that Pepsi and Polar Beer were sponsors for the show.

Entering Water Land's dark tent, the team encountered blasting disco music and the strong smell of chlorine. In a corner of the tent, two sea lions languished in small steel cages. In the middle of the arena, surrounded by bleachers, two dolphins floated listlessly in a small tank that was little more than hole in the ground.

O'Barry recognized one of the dolphins as Cheryl, a Russian dolphin he had last seen in a filthy municipal swimming pool in Buenos Aires, Argentina, in 1993. When the Cold War ended, many of the USSR's 500 military-trained dolphins were rented out to various amusement parks in Vietnam, Malta, Hungary, Chile and Argentina. Cheryl is believed to be one of Russia's war surplus dolphins(The Last Traveling Dolphin Show http://www.earthislandprojects.org/eijournal/spring98/sp98a_wr.htm)

 

[CougarKing]

Here's a Yahoo Video where King Juan Carlos I of Spain essentially tells Hugo Chavez to SHUT UP for calling others at that Pan-Hispanic conference "Fascistas".

"Por que no te callas?" = Why don't you shut up?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X3Kzbo7tNLg&feature=related


EDITED: I removed the original yahoo video clip because someone had inserted nudity into it; here is a better link from youtube

 

[AndrewB2020]

LMAO - that was good...best laugh ofthe day yet.  ;D

 

[retiredgrunt45]

Chavez is a dirty little fly and the U.S is the big old flyswatter.  :blotto:

What a joke, in his breast beating, he actually thinks he can take on the U.S military. I had a good laugh at his expense. :

Goes to show how disillusioned this idiot is.