SUPPORT FROM FRIENDS

[freeze_time311]

Hello everyone,

I've been seriously concidering a career in the CF as an infantry soldier. I've read basically every piece of information there is out there. I've requested the documents, read them over a million times, and have made the decision to sign up. Physically I'm ready for the challenge. Mentally, I'm not so sure. I keep telling myself during my work outs that I can do this, and I know if I put my mind to it, I can accomplish this goal. Although I'm lacking support from my friends here at home. I've tried discussing this with them, but it just seems to get forgotten about, and a different conversation quickky comes up. There are all great, intellegent, understanding guys. They just don't seem to support my choice to join the Canadian Army. I find this odd, as one of our friends left 6 months ago to Regina for the RCMP training, and they always told him it was a great idea, and that he should fallow his dreams. I'm wondering, if at a time of war like which we are experiencing now, do they(my friends) feel that signing onto the CF is horrible idea, due to there personal political beliefs? I'm simply curious to why, dispite the fact that it is my decision, and my dream to join, that they wouldn't show an ounce of understanding. What would some of you recommend? I've known these guys for 15 years, and dispite what they say I will still be signing on, I would just rather leave home with my friends support. I feel if I had there support, I would be that much more successful at BMQ. Any personal experiences in dealing with this matter would be appreciated. Thanks

P.S. I am 20 years old if that helps anyone relate.

 

[navymich]

Check out this thread.  It has people talking about ways to tell family and friends about your decision, it might help you a bit.  I know there are other threads on the boards about this type of situation, but I couldn't find them offhand.  Maybe somebody else can help and provide some other links. 

 

[armchair_throwaway]

There's also http://army.ca/forums/threads/19887.0.html

I'm hoping to join Reg Force NCM myself after I finish my degree and talked to 3 of my friends (all girls) about the decision just a few days ago. Their reaction was way more positive than I'd imagined. First one said she wants to join the CF as well, but her parents would disown her. Second one said she's already IN the reserve as Med Tech, and I didn't even know this haha. Third one said she doesn't like war, but she knows at this point it is necessary, and told me I was very brave. I took that as a great compliment from someone who's anti-war.

At this point, I'm only worried about what my parents think. They're hoping I will find a stable well paid job and live a simple life.

 

[Remius]

Well this is going to be a true test of friendship won't it.  If they can still be your friend despite your choice of career then good on them and you.  If not then you have to question if they truly are/were your friends.  This might sound cold but life goes on.  A lot of the people I knew when I was 20 aren't in the picture including some good friends.  Some parted ways on bad terms others just parted ways.  I have made more friends than I can count since joining, from all over the country.  Really good friends.  If I hadn't joined, I would have missed meeting some of the best people I have ever known and I probably would have parted way with some of those friends I had when I was 20 anyway.

There is no easy answer to this one young jedi.  Every case is different.  But don't let it get you down too much.  The CF is a great opportunity and I doubt anyone here can say they haven't met some of their best friends here.  

Good luck.

 

[navymich]

There's also http://army.ca/forums/threads/19887.0.html

And this is a good example of why threads should have a subject relevant to the topic in discussion.  Makes it much easier to search for them!  Thank you for adding this one on lucia.

 

[beands]

Freeze_time31

I share your dream of going infantry all the way, and I am soon to put in my application.
In my opinion and experiences, I have not had all the support I thought I would either.
Some of my family have served, and some still do. So for the most part they support my decision. Some of them don't support my dreams and plans because it doesn't benefit them or their hippie "anti-government" mentalities.  
As far as friends go, I don't have ANY support from them at all. My common law wife is supportive, she doesn't like the idea but realizes what's at stake of standing in the way of someones dreams.
In the end, I know I will make more friends once I'm in than I have anywhere else in my past. I know I will be doing what I have always wanted and constantly put it on hold for my friends and what they had been saying to me.
In the last 2 months I have come to terms with the fact that they are slowing me down, and holding me back from my dreams.
I support your dreams, and I would have to say, since you posted on here you have probably found more than enough support from the members of this site. On that note, I very strongly feel the only support a person needs to begin with, is the support for himself. After that you'll have all the support and push you need to "soldier on" with.
Do what ya gotta do, and make your dreams happen man.
Good luck to you in the process.

 

[Chris The Pirate]

Do what you want to do. If you want to join the infantry, join the infantry. I understand that you want support from your friends, but you are living your life for you, and not for them right? Just do what you want, and they'll either be happy with you, or they won't. If they aren't happy even after you join, that shows what kind of friends they really are then eh?

Join. And take a look at where they are in life a few years from now, in my situation, all my friends had negative input for me when I signed up. It's now a few years later, they still have the same opinions, and they're all still living at home with mom and dad, at the ages of 22 and 23.

Do what you want, you'll make lots of new friends in the infantry anyway.

 

[Jaydub]

Freeze,

I was 20 when I joined the reg force.  Most of my friends thought it was cool.  Others didn't.  I've done my best to keep in touch with all my friends back home.  I've known these guys for 20+ years, and they come from all areas of the political spectrum.  Some of us, including myself, are very passionate about politics.  We sometimes have very heated arguments, but it has no effect whatsoever on our friendship.

Have you asked your friends exactly why they don't support your decision?  Did they mention the politics of it?  Are they worried about something happening to you?  Do they have some misconceptions about life in the Military?  You should discuss it with them.  If they choose to not be your friend over it, then they were never truly friends to begin with...

 

[formerarmybrat23]

how true that is beands. Live for yourself not your friends. It took me years to figure that out. Alot of times friends mean more then family, especially before you have a family of your own. Pursue your goals, anyone who can't support you is probably trying to look out for their own interests more then yours.

I've gotten alot of flack from some of my friends. As I see it, I will be the one better off. Steady job with benefits, and eventually a pension? Sign me up and send me where you want lol. While they are scrambling to get crap jobs every couple years, I will have my career, family, and future retirement!

stick to your goals, LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE!

 

[kincanucks]

Join the CF and make many new and better friends and forget the old ones.

 

[freeze_time311]

Thanks alot everyone. I find this rather liberating. The comments you all have posted shows me that you all have delt with this situation before, and you are willing to use your expierences to help me out. For those that are in the military, you have just made me feel like joining would be the best thing for me. I'm not even in and the support I recieved is termendous. I'm not sure on there political beliefs, but I will definatly be inquiring. If it is the case my friends disagree with the army due to there political beliefs, I will accept there choice, honor there decision to not want me to join, but I won't let it hold me back. If this is the kind of team work I can expect in the infantry, than I look forward to serving with some of you one day. Thanks again.

 

[beands]

ANYtime Freeze!
Who knows, if the chips fall the right way we could be going to BMQ at the same time and/or even end up in the serving in the same place.
best of luck to ya either way!

 

[armyvern]

Freeze,

Also try to remember the reality of being in the CF today. I'm quite sure your friends have seen the news on TV and know there's a war happening over there.

Their apprehension about discussing the subject with you does not, necessarily, come from them having views against the CF mission in Afghanistan or your decision to join. You have, after all, been a good group of friends for 15 years now.

If they aren't saying "we don't like what you're doing by joining the military," then perhaps that's not the issue at all.

You may possibly have on your hands a bunch of longtime friends, who do support your decision, but are concerned about you and your safety. Now what's a bunch of guys to do when the subject of you joining come up?? Discuss their 'scared' feelings ... or change the subject?

If you'd normally all be discussing your feelings with each other ... please send me a PM with their names, ages, and addresses. In a few years, I have a daughter I need to marry off!! 

 

[Fry]

I hear where you're coming from.. but it's to be expected. Best to explain best you can what/why you want/will be doing and that it's your dream. If they can't respect you for that, you're better off without them anyway.

 

[LineJumper]

I had the same thing, that was 16 years ago, now my 'old' friends wish they had followed the same path I have. They'll come around eventually, and then truly enjoy having a 'soldier' as a friend.

 

[freeze_time311]

Just to follow up on the subject. I had one of my very good friends over the other day. He is one of the same friends that expressed there negative opinion to me about the CF. We hadn't talked about me joining in a while, and I figured if it bothered him that much, I wouldn't talk about it. So we're just sitting in the basement sipping on some cold beers, when he looks over at my computer desk and see's the Army interactive CD-ROM sitting on the shelf. At first he thought it was a video game and asked if he could try it out.

So I put the disc in the computer and away we go. He quickly realizes this is no video game and he starts exploring the different topics. At this time I was called upstairs by my GF, and buddy was left alone to discover what the CF had to offer. (well at least the Army anyway)

I come back down about 15 minutes later, and he is cycling through the equipment page. He says to me, "hey, you actually get to use all of this stuff." I assure him that there is a wide variety of equipment one can be trained on. He is a mechanic, and loves to take things apart just to see how they work. It was at this time he said to me, "maybe the military isn't so bad after all." I had an immediate outburst of laughter. I have been trying to get this guys support for months and have no such luck. He looks at the CF interactive CD for 15 minutes and is convinced it's an ok profession, and I now have his support.

It's amazing how our 20 year relationship wasn't enough to support me, but the interactive CD-ROM was. When I asked him why the CD caught his attention, his reply was, " I just looked at the cover and saw the troop standing there wearing those stylish Oakley's and thought heck, if you can get paid decent money to use sophisticated equipment, and still look good while doing it, then why not."

I laughed my *** off. Sorry HoM

 

[geo]

Once you get past the mindset that we are a bunch of hyped up morons armed to the gills, you get to appreciate what it is the profession of arms is actually all about.

We're still a bunch of morons looking for a likeminded bunch  ;D

 

[HItorMiss]

When I asked him why the CD caught his attention, his reply was, " I just looked at the cover and saw the troop standing there wearing those stylish Oakley's and thought heck, if you can get paid decent money to use sophisticated equipment, and still look good while doing it, then why not."

I laughed my *** off. Sorry HoM

You kniow I am going to start charging the CF for use of my likeness in their recruiting efforts, I could be making the big bucks with all the places my face is displyed. Where is my money  Damnit!