Anny said:
So, bottom line is, since I have a drivers licence they will not help me, and my husband and I are NOT to ask for rides for me anywhere for anything. I told them about my medical condition, and that my doctor will take my licence away if she ever found out that I drove anywhere (I do drive occasionally but know I shouldn't, and I risk killing someone if I do drive so I should NOT be driving). I explained I could get them a letter from my doctor verifying this, but they weren't interested in the letter.
We tried the VCT session twice last weekend and due to various communication errors and possible lines down, I travelled twice to the base and still no video conference. So now if I want to try it I have to get out there a third time. One of my husbands higher ups actually had the nerve to tell me that while HE went on tour, his wife didn't work. I am so angry he insinuated I shouldn't work while my husband is on tour... my husband does not make nearly the wage this guy does so I have to work, we have no choice.
I am so angry and so upset at this point that I am bursting up from not telling my husband he needs to come home from tour now and get the hell out of the military. But I can't tell him that because he doesn't need that on his shoulders right now. So I will have to learn to shut up and suck it up, at least for now.
I find the military (as a whole, some individuals are awesome) very uncaring and disrespectful, almost abusive towards families. I have never encountered such a disrespectful workplace. I'm curious to hear from others, how does your family handle this ?
Wow. I'm just seeing this thread now ...
But, here's my take. I have been a "sponsor" for someone's wife while my co-worker served overseas. I did NOT and would NOT drive her anywhere. Nor can the CF order me to drive "her" anywhere in my vehicle.
Why? Because if I am serving as the "sponsor" as directed by my CoC, then I would be utilizing MY personal vehicle "for work purposes" if I did drive her anywhere. Guess what? My insurance coverage does not allow for my utilizing my vehicle "for work". Should I have driven "her" and been in a car accident etc --- I face being sued by "her" --- and the CF can't get "sued" ... so, no - sorry, it is not up to me to provide transport for "her" in my "vehicle" even IF I am the sponsor. I too have a family to support etc and I don't need to be in a car accident with serious injuries/death to myself only to have my insurance comapny turn around and say to my survivors etc "too bad, she was using it for work and thus nothing is covered." Nor do I need my estate to be sued by "her" (or "her" estate) because "she" was killed/injured.
I do understand that you live far away from the MFRC. That is not/was not a choice of the CF. Do you not have friends/family etc that could assist you? Why is it the military's responsibility in your eyes? Public transport has also told you "NO". Do you plan on telling your husband that he should "refrain from ever again using public transport" too?
Comms go up & comms go down. When that occurs is 99.9% unforecastable. Yet, somehow, you blame this on the military too.
He's in a third world country at war (!!) for crying out loud!! Why can't anyone these days be happy with what we can & do manage to pull off for our troops on tour? Why do we need to "babysit" constantly? Geez, like we can predict things like comms lockdowns etc just to make sure that you are not inconvenienced. Shit happens. It's not like anyone plans this stuff just to screw you around.
In 1989 during my first tour, I lived in a fairground ... I had a sheet between me and the guys living on either side of me. We shared showers. We had an immarsat that we got 5 minutes a WEEK to call home on. We had no internet. We had no cellphones. We had no computers, crackberries, laptops etc. We had ZERO leave. No HLTA. No financial compensation for ANY of that "inconvenience" or lack of leave. Diddley squat. We lived!! I am here to tell about it.
Your husband is being monetarily compensated EXTREMELY WELL right now because he is over there. Tax Free. Danger, risk, AND "hardship", "
seperation expense" (that'd be from the family!!) ALL being considered and all being part and parcel of all that extra cash that your family is now benefitting from each month while he is deployed.
That's WHY troops overseas receive financial compensation - to compensate for extra danger, risk and hardship they are subjected to while overseas ... and, news flash, to compensate for "EXTRA EXPENSES INCURRED" due to seperation and being seperated from their family.
I suggest you use some of that to pay the 50 bucks cab fare. Or, cheaper yet, next time you drive against doctors orders --- buy a webcam, install it ... and start chatting from home. I've got a "normal" 30 buck webcam and I chat sucessfully with friends who are over there. I am quite sure that you are capable of that too.