Visitor Maria sends this to me:
Dear Garth
I am writing today to you as the wife of an ex-military man. Although he has been out of the military for several years now, I can tell you he knows how the soldiers feel. I can only imagine the things he has been through. I can only tell you a little of what I have experienced as his wife. Please remember that I married him shortly after his leaving the military, but I am certain that any military wife out there can understand what I am talking about. I want people to understand that a soldier goes through so much and in return is usually forgotten, ridiculed and basically taken advantage of.
When I first met my husband, he was a confident, outgoing and I felt trusworthy man. I was not wrong in those impressions. He is still that man. However, he is a man that inside, is very troubled and disallusioned. He rarely talks about it as he feels I wouldn’t understand and he is right. I wouldn’t. I do understand that he still has nightmares. I understand that he is obsessed with making sure he pays his respects and shows his gratitude to today’s soldiers. He will not tell me any of the things he has done or seen in the military other than in general. He doesn’t need to really. I am there when he talks in his sleep. I am there when he wakes up sweating, sometimes crying, sometimes mad, sometimes scared and sometimes a lot of other things.
I am with him when we go to restaurants or malls or anywhere and he automatically checks every person for possible concealed weapons. I am with him when he can’t sit with his back to the door so he can hopefuly see any threat that may possibly come our way. I went through several years of not moving when he was asleep because he would wake up and ask what was wrong. He can still be sitting in a public place and point out potential problem people and usually be right.
I am not relating all these things so you or any of your readers will feel sorry for me. I am only trying to let people know that the soldier’s hardship continues long after the actual combat stops.
After reading through several of the comments in this blog, I am angry and hurt that so few people realize what our soldiers go through. I honestly do not know if I would have had the strength to stay by his side when he was experiencing these hardships. I can only tell you that I am now. Why? Because he is an honourable man who constantly shows me how much he loves me. He has his faults, some harder to deal with than others, but he constantly cares and protects me. He has literally put his body between and armed robbers when we were held up at gunpoint. I have seen him protect other people he didn’t even know. He has done so many things to help others that I can’t list them here. Suffice it to say that he has more good qualities than bad.
My husband literally and honestly grieves for every soldier that dies in the service of our country and ultimately, each and every one of us. He has been wearing red on Fridays since April. He had a website called our fallen heroes. Maybe you saw it. He installed a flag pole and lowers the flag when a soldier dies. Whenever he knows that a “fallen hero or heroes” will be passing by our town, he’s out on the overpass to pay his respects. This last saturday, he stood there for quite sometime waiting with a makeshift flag pole and paid his respects, along with a passerby that stopped to do the same. I wanted to go with him but was unable to. He tells me how a vast majority of the people passing below would honk their horn or flash their lights. It was a very emotional moment for him and through him, for me. I support him in this and feel much the same way as he does. Every single person in the military is a hero, wether we are at war or not. Let us not forget how many have died on peace keeping missions.
Why go into all of this? To show you what kind of person joins the military. Yes they are paid. They still have bills to pay, families to raise and like all of us, material wants, whatever they may be. I ask your readers and especially those who think the military people of today are simply there because it’s a job. Would you lay your life on the line simply for the pay and benefits? I don’t think so. The people who are joining the military right now know full well they may die as a result and yet they still join. Why? Because they are honourable people. Plain and simple. What does that make the people who put them down?
This letter is much longer than I had anticipated. Let me just remind people that Red Fridays isn’t just for the soldiers that die. It is also for the ones that are still fighting and their families that also pay the price. I would ask that for those that disagree with Red Fridays do nothing if they so chose but please don’t put down those that do. They have the right to show their support the same as you have the right to not show support in this manner. My husband and countless others have fought for those rights. So many have died for those rights. Please respect that.
