- Reaction score
- 4,949
- Points
- 1,060
Perhaps it means he has no real, workable, strategy. Just his big fat mouth and a lot of words.
Political Humor
- Thread starter PMedMoe
- Start date
- Reaction score
- 25
- Points
- 430
Well. His head is at the ass end of the plane. It looks like the plane is loading confused Aussie troops in a desert clime.
OldSolduer
Army.ca Relic
- Reaction score
- 12,696
- Points
- 1,140
Sarah is hotter than Eliabeth :
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 260
Well the Green party works extra hard to ensure that personal Hotness does not increase global warming.OldSolduer said:Sarah is hotter than Eliabeth :
On another note anyone count how many times May brought up that report by the what ever foundation.
Or how many times Jack mentioned Exxon, or Bush.
- Reaction score
- 25
- Points
- 430
helpup said:
Is that a new "Drinking Game"?
OldSolduer said:Sarah is hotter than Eliabeth :
The US presents us with Sarah Palin....
Canada presents us with the wicked witch right out of Cinderella or the one in Shrek.......I can just see her floating around waving her "Star Wand"
OldSolduer
Army.ca Relic
- Reaction score
- 12,696
- Points
- 1,140
Dion mentioned Bush a lot as well. Oone track mind.
Sarah is definitely hotter than Liz eh?
Sarah is definitely hotter than Liz eh?
- Reaction score
- 1,132
- Points
- 940
A driver is stuck in a traffic jam on the motorway. Nothing is moving. Suddenly a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Stephen Harper, Stephane Dion & Jack Layton. They're asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"Most people are giving about 4 litres."
The driver rolls down his window and asks, "What's going on?"
"Terrorists down the road have kidnapped Stephen Harper, Stephane Dion & Jack Layton. They're asking for a $10 million ransom. Otherwise they're going to douse them with gasoline and set them on fire. We're going from car to car, taking up a collection."
The driver asks, "How much is everyone giving, on average?"
"Most people are giving about 4 litres."
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
I've heard the following "Monkeys Items" in ref to Corporate leadership, but they also apply to Political leadership as well...
I don't know who originally wrote them, and I know I've modified the exact version - so my apologies to the original author(s).
Five Monkeys Theory
First off, you take five monkeys A, B, C, D, E and place them in a room with water jets in the ceiling and walls, and an electrical grate on the floor.
In this room you hang a banana from the ceiling, and place a step ladder beneath it. Every time one of the monkeys tries to get the banana, you intermittently
douse them all with ice cold water, or shock their little feet. Over time, the monkeys will no longer attempt to get the banana.
When you've reached that point, replace Monkey A with a new monkey F. Whenever monkey F reaches for the banana, B-E will beat him within an inch of his life.
Eventually, you will reach a point where F no longer attempts to get the banana either. And F will have never been exposed to the water or electricity.
It's time for a new monkey. Monkey B out, monkey G in. When G reaches for the banana, C-F will beat him senseless. G will never experience the water or electricity.
Repeat this process until all the original monkeys have been replaced. We now have 5 monkeys F, G, H, I, J who have NEVER been exposed to the cold water, or the electricity.
When you add a 6th monkey - K - and he reaches for the banana, F-J will beat him mercilessly. If you can speak monkey-speak and ask F-J why they beat K, they will simply tell you,
"That's the way things are done around here. I don't know when it started, and I don't know why, but I'll be damned if I'm going to change it."
Political Leadership - A Monkey's Point of View
Leadership is all about perspective. Consider a troop of monkeys, where the leaders of the troop occupy the higher branches of a tree, and the junior members occupy the lower branches.
When the monkeys at the top of the tree look down, all they see are smiling faces.
When the monkeys at the bottom look up, all they see are a bunch of assholes.
Finally, a few quotes...
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
~George Bernard Shaw
If you liberals keep gettin' your way - we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin' straight down the toilet.
~Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~P. J. O'Rourke
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan
The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.
~Claude Pepper
Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers.
~Karl Rove
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
~Douglas Adams
I don't know who originally wrote them, and I know I've modified the exact version - so my apologies to the original author(s).
Five Monkeys Theory
First off, you take five monkeys A, B, C, D, E and place them in a room with water jets in the ceiling and walls, and an electrical grate on the floor.
In this room you hang a banana from the ceiling, and place a step ladder beneath it. Every time one of the monkeys tries to get the banana, you intermittently
douse them all with ice cold water, or shock their little feet. Over time, the monkeys will no longer attempt to get the banana.
When you've reached that point, replace Monkey A with a new monkey F. Whenever monkey F reaches for the banana, B-E will beat him within an inch of his life.
Eventually, you will reach a point where F no longer attempts to get the banana either. And F will have never been exposed to the water or electricity.
It's time for a new monkey. Monkey B out, monkey G in. When G reaches for the banana, C-F will beat him senseless. G will never experience the water or electricity.
Repeat this process until all the original monkeys have been replaced. We now have 5 monkeys F, G, H, I, J who have NEVER been exposed to the cold water, or the electricity.
When you add a 6th monkey - K - and he reaches for the banana, F-J will beat him mercilessly. If you can speak monkey-speak and ask F-J why they beat K, they will simply tell you,
"That's the way things are done around here. I don't know when it started, and I don't know why, but I'll be damned if I'm going to change it."
Political Leadership - A Monkey's Point of View
Leadership is all about perspective. Consider a troop of monkeys, where the leaders of the troop occupy the higher branches of a tree, and the junior members occupy the lower branches.
When the monkeys at the top of the tree look down, all they see are smiling faces.
When the monkeys at the bottom look up, all they see are a bunch of assholes.
Finally, a few quotes...
He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career.
~George Bernard Shaw
If you liberals keep gettin' your way - we're all gonna hear one big loud flush. The sound of the U.S. of A. goin' straight down the toilet.
~Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
~P. J. O'Rourke
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
~Ronald Reagan
The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.
~Claude Pepper
Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers.
~Karl Rove
It is a well-known fact that those people who must want to rule people are, ipso facto, those least suited to do it... anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
~Douglas Adams
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem just let me in' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven, says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?' The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
'Yesterday we were campaigning.. Today you voted.'
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. 'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem just let me in' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven, says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne. Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose
your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
What happened?' The devil looks at him, smiles and says,
'Yesterday we were campaigning.. Today you voted.'
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 360
The Barack Roll. ;D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65I0HNvTDH4
- Reaction score
- 1,132
- Points
- 940
From the Rick Mercer Report:
Politics is Not for Grownups
My daughter showed me this last night. It's hilarious!
Politics is Not for Grownups
My daughter showed me this last night. It's hilarious!
- Reaction score
- 1,132
- Points
- 940
One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept
money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your
Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.
Vote carefully this year.
you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept
money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your
Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'
Then, a Member of Parliament comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament is very happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut.
And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the Members of Parliament.
Vote carefully this year.
