Leaving Children For Training, Etc. -Merged

[Celticgirl]

If I may...a suggestion?  If you think it would be something she would like...before you go, go to your post office, buy some stamps and buy a few of those express-post envelopes that you can fit 'little-somethings' in..say big enough to fit something the size of a folded t-shirt into...the pre-paid kinda ones.  Take them with you.  (saves you the PITA of getting them when you are busy on course...which is most of the time).  When you are at the CANEX in the MEGA, you will see they have little things you can send back to her...key chains, t-shirts, etc that have CFLRS, CF, Air Force type logo's on them.  Pick some up when you are there initially, weekly, whenever.  You'll have the envelopes already.  Once a week or 2 weeks or whenever you feel the need to (and you will), you can slip them in an express-post envelope, with a little "thinking of you/love you" note/letter, drop them in the "cart" with the outgoing mail that the CPC will deliver to the Course Duty/Marching NCO daily.  Also, you might feel the need to 'write letters' to her, but sometimes you just won't have the time.  In the CANEX, there is a rack (it used to be in front of the cashier counter) filled with postcards that have CFLRS type pictures on them;  buy 6, 8, 10 whatever.  You can write enough to fill up a postcard in what...3 minutes? (You've already bought the stamps and have them in your personal drawer in your locker ) She'll get a different one everytime...there's enough of them you can do that...(not every week will be one where you can send them...you'll be in Farn-wright some of it...) and will be tickled pink about it IMO.  Talkin' on the cell/phone is one thing...gettin' something in the mail from "mommy"?  Priceless!

You, my man, are a GENIUS! Those are awesome suggestions, and I am definitely going to take your advice! Thank you! 

 

[exgunnertdo]

Not that it helps with the nasty remarks - but another "happy thought"

Mu husband left for Bosnia when our son was 19 days old.  In fact, our son was born 5 weeks early, so he was supposed to be gone for the birth.  We got lots of "wow, can't believe he left you" kind of comments  :  And then our son was colicky for 3 months to add to the joy!

Baby boy is now almost 8, and he regularly says "Mommy, remember when I was born and I came so early cause I knew I had to come early to see Daddy before he left for 6 months and then I cried for 3 months cause I missed him?"  It's now part of our "family history" and as stressful as that time was, he has only happy thoughts about it!

Another suggestion - get her a map of Canada for her room, so she can visualize where you are.  See if you can find a picture of the Mega on the web, too.

 

[Celticgirl]

Mu husband left for Bosnia when our son was 19 days old.  In fact, our son was born 5 weeks early, so he was supposed to be gone for the birth.  We got lots of "wow, can't believe he left you" kind of comments  :  And then our son was colicky for 3 months to add to the joy!

Some folks really ought to think before they plant a big foot sandwich between the ol' chompers, eh?  : Sheesh!

Another suggestion - get her a map of Canada for her room, so she can visualize where you are.  See if you can find a picture of the Mega on the web, too.

Another great idea! You guys rock!!  ;D

 

[TangoTwoBravo]

I am going to miss her tremendously! However, the guilt I already feel is being compounded by the fact that some folks are insinuating that I am abandoning my child or that I am selfish for going away and leaving her for so long. Mostly, the comments are along the lines of "Humph! I could never leave my child for that long. I don't know how you can do it." Then there's the "you suck as a mom" look on the person's face.  :-\

I know that I should let it roll off my back, but it does make me feel bad to hear the comments and see the disapproving looks. I can just imagine what it will be like if I am actually deployed somewhere in future years. Has anyone here experienced this, and if so, what did you say to the people who made the comments?

Perhaps you are reading too much into their comments?  I wouldn't go to DEFCON 4 unless someone comes right out and says it.

I've left my kids lots of times due to the military.  I am packing right now and I just got home a week ago tonight.  My kids are bumming about it but it is part of the package.  While phone and internet service is generally much better these days, I found that personalized letters to each kid seemed to help for long periods away (like a tour).  I also explain why I am going away and try to let them picture what it is like where I am going (the nice bits anyway).

Cheers

 

[Eye In The Sky]

See if you can find a picture of the Mega on the web, too.

Google Earth is your friend here...if you go to Google Earth and type in Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu...

The first pic is a screen-shot from Google Earth of the Saint-Jean area.  I've circled the Garrison in red. 

The second picture is zoomed in on the Garrison itself.  I've circled The Mega in red.  Obviously its a top-down pic.  The 2 green lines indicate where the "green doors" are.  North is to the top, south to the bottom.  The north end of the Mega is A pavillion, in the middle is N Pavillion.  That is Blue Sector.  The lower part of the south end is Green Sector, in the middle of them is Orange Sector which (roughly speaking) runs NW-SE.

If/when you leave on the weekend, you leave from the Green Doors only.  Return is thru the same area.  So, you can see (judging the size of the Mega from the parking lots/cars/track to the east, etc) that if you are in A Pavillion on the top floor...the Green Doors are not just a hop-skip-and-a-jump away.  (Candidates are not authorized to use elevators.)

The rest of the outside area, you will become familiar with on PT, marching back and forth, doing the obstacle course, going to Supply, the hospital, drill halls, etc etc etc.  PT in the morning did include running the outer perimeter road of the Garrison at 0-dark-stupid at "minus-holy-fawk" in the winter temps.   ;D (indicated by the yellow line).  The yellow oval/circle to the north of A Pavillion is the area where we did the warm up/cool down.

Nothing like Google Earth for doing a preliminary recce of your objective  ;D. 

 

[Celticgirl]

Google Earth is your friend here...if you go to Google Earth and type in Saint-Jean-sur-Richelieu...

You're just all about the Google Earth, aren't you?  ;D  Thanks, Eye. I will just be happy if I can find that green door I'm supposed to go in on the first day!

 

[Eye In The Sky]

You're just all about the Google Earth, aren't you?  ;D  Thanks, Eye. I will just be happy if I can find that green door I'm supposed to go in on the first day!

Thats too easy!  When you go thru the main gate, the Commissionaire's there will tell you (1) where it is {you can actually see it from the main gate...} and (2) and where to park your car while you go check-in at the Green Desk.

OR

If you don't take your car...your cab will drop you off right at the curb, 20 feet from the door to hell. 

 

[TCBF]

- Reminds me of a movie: "Behind The Green Door."

;D

 

[Celticgirl]

If you don't take your car...your cab will drop you off right at the curb, 20 feet from the door to hell.   

As a former instructor, I figured you would be a little more encouraging about what we are going to experience. Can't you Romper Room it up for us a bit?  8)

 

[MamaBear]

CelticGirl,

You've been a Mom long enough to have figured out that when you gave birth to that child, the baby came out....and the guilt went in!  Mothers are plagued with guilt no matter their choices in life.  Moms who stay home feel guilty because they aren't offering their child the opportunity to be more independent, and Moms who work feel guilty for the opposite reasons.  Guilt - another word for Mother.  And we are not bashful at all in trying to deflect our guilt onto others.  That is why there is such rampant whispering and gossiping between moms on playgrounds, playgroups and school yards.

But what counts right now is how you feel.  And since pain only comes when we perceive truth, no matter how large or how small, your pain is coming from you right now.  You need to work out your own feelings, be confident in you as a mom.  If necessary do a balance sheet - things that make a great mom and things that make you a crappy mom.  And once you realize just how wonderful a mother you are, the guilt will disappear.  Because in your heart of hearts, you will know that you'd never do anything to leave your child hurting in any way, shape or form.

Moms have such power - don't give yours away to other people.

Hugs,

MamaBear

 

[Eye In The Sky]

As a former instructor, I figured you would be a little more encouraging about what we are going to experience. Can't you Romper Room it up for us a bit?  8)

Ok..try this version then...

If you don't take you car, your pleasant staff, who are mostly concerned that you don't hurt yourself moving your luggage to your room, which they have personally cleaned and prepared for your arrival, will be there to greet you.  They usually have a warm smile on their face, shake your hand (oh I won't lie!  Some of them hug you as they laugh, happy for your safe arrival!) and usually introduce themselves something like "Hi, I am Bobby.  How are you?  Was your trip ok?  Is there anything I can do right now, to make you feel better about this whole experience?"  To be quite honest, most of the instructors are men, much like the man portrayed here in this movie.  It should give you an idea of what to expect from the folks who await your arrival....

From there, your guided tour of the Mega begins with a glass of wine in the Bistro, of course, matched up with some delightful treats cooked up by the always-pleasant kitchen staff, who awake every day fresh and revived, grateful for the opportunity to cook several more meals for the entire garrison, thankful to play a part in the development of those who make our nation stronger.  Following refreshments, candidates are then shown to their suites, where the staff (thankfully) have already moved their luggage to, knowing that their newly arrived troops are weary from a day of excitement, travelling and anticipation.  Of course, the wine, now doing its job of relaxing the new arrivals, makes the next part of the day all the more easy for everyone, as students then enjoy a brief yet fitful rest before dressing for dinner, served promptly at 6 (after the cheese and wine 'meet and greet').  After a devine 6 course meal, all are invited to the theatre, to enjoy some entertainment, accompanied by the Senior Leadership of the Garrison and School...

:blotto:

 

[HItorMiss]

Reminds me very much of what I have heard CANSOF selection is like.....  ;D

 

[Eye In The Sky]

...but I am betting the wine is of a better vineyard and the caviar is Sevruga (from the Caspian Sea, of course...) and obviously not something weak and disappointing, such as creamed smoked roe...

 

[HItorMiss]

Well when you have the budget they have.....  ;D

It's not so much wine though I hear it's Crystal Champange in the obligatory crystal goblet

 

[NCRCrow]

Found this article on WIKI:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

I am an Army Brat and my kids are Navy Orphans, but we wouldn't have it any other way!

 

[Celticgirl]

CelticGirl,

You've been a Mom long enough to have figured out that when you gave birth to that child, the baby came out....and the guilt went in!  Mothers are plagued with guilt no matter their choices in life.  Moms who stay home feel guilty because they aren't offering their child the opportunity to be more independent, and Moms who work feel guilty for the opposite reasons.  Guilt - another word for Mother.  And we are not bashful at all in trying to deflect our guilt onto others.  That is why there is such rampant whispering and gossiping between moms on playgrounds, playgroups and school yards.

But what counts right now is how you feel.  And since pain only comes when we perceive truth, no matter how large or how small, your pain is coming from you right now.  You need to work out your own feelings, be confident in you as a mom.   If necessary do a balance sheet - things that make a great mom and things that make you a crappy mom.  And once you realize just how wonderful a mother you are, the guilt will disappear.  Because in your heart of hearts, you will know that you'd never do anything to leave your child hurting in any way, shape or form.

Moms have such power - don't give yours away to other people.

Hugs,

MamaBear

MamaBear a.k.a. Dr. Phil...you are so right. It is more about my own guilt than about others' judgmental attitudes. I have to stop giving my power away.

Ok..try this version then...

If you don't take you car, your pleasant staff, who are mostly concerned that you don't hurt yourself moving your luggage to your room, which they have personally cleaned and prepared for your arrival, will be there to greet you.  They usually have a warm smile on their face, shake your hand (oh I won't lie!  Some of them hug you as they laugh, happy for your safe arrival!) and usually introduce themselves something like "Hi, I am Bobby.  How are you?  Was your trip ok?  Is there anything I can do right now, to make you feel better about this whole experience?"  To be quite honest, most of the instructors are men, much like the man portrayed here in this movie.  It should give you an idea of what to expect from the folks who await your arrival....

From there, your guided tour of the Mega begins with a glass of wine in the Bistro, of course, matched up with some delightful treats cooked up by the always-pleasant kitchen staff, who awake every day fresh and revived, grateful for the opportunity to cook several more meals for the entire garrison, thankful to play a part in the development of those who make our nation stronger.  Following refreshments, candidates are then shown to their suites, where the staff (thankfully) have already moved their luggage to, knowing that their newly arrived troops are weary from a day of excitement, travelling and anticipation.  Of course, the wine, now doing its job of relaxing the new arrivals, makes the next part of the day all the more easy for everyone, as students then enjoy a brief yet fitful rest before dressing for dinner, served promptly at 6 (after the cheese and wine 'meet and greet').  After a devine 6 course meal, all are invited to the theatre, to enjoy some entertainment, accompanied by the Senior Leadership of the Garrison and School...

:blotto:

Well, now, that's more like it!!

:rofl:  :dontpanic:

 

[Celticgirl]

Found this article on WIKI:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

I am an Army Brat and my kids are Navy Orphans, but we wouldn't have it any other way!

Crow, the article above seems to focus mainly on kids living in foreign countries with their parents, military or other. Do you foresee an OUTCAN posting in my future?

 

[NCRCrow]

YES, the magic eight ball says so.

The focus of the link was to show that this is not a new concept. (GW already alluded to this)

Think of the single mother in the Navy who sails 270 days a year. This is not a tour but a sea going posting and the norm for 3-6 years depending on the trade/rank etc.

Stop worrying and get on with your training, it will all fall into place.

 

[armyvern]

- Reminds me of a movie: "Behind The Green Door."

;D

Ahhh, a fellow dinosaur I see.  8)

 

[tutorisland]

I have a family and will be going into training as an officer for EME after basic and wonder how much chance there is to pick where you go? I would like to work in BC.

If posted somewhere else, would it be in Canada? Will there be any relocation assistance? I don't mind selling the house; I would like my family near. How often would I see my family after all training has been completed?

Just trying to get a sense of the work life or more specifically home life for an EME officer, if anyone can share this info or direct me, it would be greatly appreciated.