INSECURITY AND DISCRIMINATION

[freeze_time311]

An issue has come up and I believe it is very important to get some clarification on this. I had put up a post called, "support from friends" a few days ago. The feedback was great. It was so great, that when I finially talked to my friends about joining the CF, two of them told me they had been thinking about joining as well. So we discussed the idea for a while, and I believe it went very well. I am a few weeks ahead of them in terms of information. I have all my application documents ready to be filled out and have done countless physical self-evaluations and feel I am ready to join. Although my friends and I talked about it, and would like to join together, regardless of the fact that we might attend BMQ at different times, and we may get posted in different area's.(we may not even get accepted) Anyway, it wasn't until after my other friends had gone home, that my good friend that wants to join with me, came to me with a problem. He is physically fit, and feels he can handle the stresses of the training and job. Although he is completly covered in body hair, and is pretty self consious about it. Us as friends have always known about his,"ape" like features, and know he doesn't like exposing himself. He basically stopped going to the beach, and taking his shirt off in public in the middle of high school

Getting to my point. He is concirned that he will face discrimination in the CF at CFLRS, and abroad. He is so sensitive on the subject, that he only meantioned it to me, and not our other buddy wishing to join the CF. He is a strong leader, and would be benificial to the CF. I would hate to see him not fallow his dream because of a simple body hair issue. I guess I am asking if anyone has expericanced this type of discrimination in the CF, if he can expect to be bothered by others, and maybe some suggestions on how to prepare for that critisism?

I have told him to let it go, but he believes others will look at him differently in the CF. We are all interested in the Infantry, and I guess it's the swimming and comuunal showers he is afraid of. I have seen him litterly hit someone that seriously made fun of his body hair. He's that sensitive about it. Please help me guys, It would be great if he could embark on this adventure with me. Thanks

 

[BernDawg]

First off there are plenty of hairy bastards in the CF (me included) so he'll fit right in but if he can't take a bit of gentle ribbing, that's the only kind I've ever gotten about it, from his friends then maybe the CF isn't the place for him.  If it is such an issue for him how about waxing or regular clippering to a manageable length (just a coupla thoughts) but in reality no one here gives a shit about his body hair.

 

[armyvern]

Wow.

This is a different type of post than I've seen around here before. I suggest that you view my profile as I speak of my own complex' in it.

Everyone has something that they deal with at some point in their lives that makes them feel lesser than those around them. For me, I'm a redheaded freckle faced girl ... who also happens to have no chest to speak of. For me, it's a fact of life, and one which has caused me undue and untold amounts of stress which I place upon myself.

All I can say to your friend, is that it has been my experience in the CF that ones looks are not what makes either the person or the soldier. Nor have they been a factor in ones career progression. I can also assure you that I was not at all comfortable with the idea of 'group showers' when I went through basic training. But then, nor was anyone else.

But, since I have joined, I have learned that there are many more people out there who aren't comfortable with themselves either, for a variety of different reasons. The CF however, instills a sense of pride in ones work, and the ability to work as a team regardless of differences between the group of personnel involved. The self-confidence that one develops throughout their training certainly tends to make one more comfortable with themself and focus' on ones achievements and capabilities vice ones physical characteristics.

The CF is a professional organization and goes to great lengths in the training of its personnel to instill confidence in self, and in each other. I think your friend would benefit from that, much as I have done. I have indeed learned that the way I look, has zero bearing on my personal abilities, nor is the way I look important in the grand scheme of things on an everyday basis. I am now comfortable being me, but still learning to like me.

 

[Journeyman]

Tell your friend to join as a Combat Engineer; he can be MWO Al C's little brother  ;D  (the older thumperheads will understand).

People seldom, if ever, have serious troubles in the CF based on physical attributes. Yes, there may be some good-natured mocking -- humans are like that. The serious abuse is saved for those who lack a work ethic and competence (once taught).

If your friend is willing to work, he'll be fine.

 

[Chris The Pirate]

Your friend has nothing to worry about concerning his body hair and possible discrimination. You and your friend will find that many members of the CF have quite the amount of body hair, and some have none at all. You want specific examples so here you go...

When in basic you'll have to take your shirt off for swimming, showering in private and public shower rooms, and changing of course. You'll be with alot of other guys on your course, who will all have some hair, no hair, or alot of hair on their bodies... it's no big deal. Anyway.. When I joined, I was a hairy b*stard. Shoulder hair, chest hair, back hair, upper arm hair, the works. So obviously, like your friend, I was pretty insecure about taking the good 'ol shirt off to do pool pt, or showering etc. When pool pt came around, or showering, everyone of course had a reaction to the mass amount of hair growth I had all over my body, and laughed at the lack of hair I had on the top of my head....its pretty funny actually.

The 'worst' that ever happened to me was people would joke about it, not in a mean angry kind of way, but it was friendly joking the first couple times. Jokes like, hey man do you gotta water that hair to make it grow like that? Or do you trim it often? Or hey, you could braid that! I took all the jokes pretty well, I was insecure at first, but I earned the title of chewbacca rather quickly.

Listen, its no big deal. You'll see many hairy people, fat people, fit people, ugly people, etc. Your friend will get a couple of friendly jokes and that's it. If he really has a problem with it, use nair or wax it off, or shave it with an electric shaver and trim that stuff up.... or let one of the people on your course braid it haha. Just wax or nair it before you join, it lasts a couple of weeks before you have to do it again. No biggie. The bigger deal he makes about it, the bigger deal everyone else will make of it, so just take it as a joke and tell him to tell everyone he's just folically challeneged/gifted or something to that extent.

Besides, your friend may be insecure now about it, but just so you know, your insecurities about taking your shirt off will go right out the window when you have a couple of minutes to take the shirt off shower and get changed. Theres no time for anyone to actually look at you and make a joke half the time. And if there is time to make a joke, its just a joke. So keep that in mind....

Right now though, my girlfriend makes me use nair. It's this cheap bottle of cream that stays on your body hair for 5 minutes, but I keep it on for 10minutes.. then all the hair washes off and stays off for a couple weeks. You can pick it up at shoppers drug mart for like 6 dollars or so. Buy a few extra bottles and take it to the base. That's what I'd do if I were him, or just leave it and earn the title of chewbacca. Hope this helps.

Chris

 

[Yrys]

Just wax  it before you join

Did you ever wax ? If not, you must read ArmyVern post to know why it ain't a good idea...

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/63218.0.html

 

[GAP]

Did you ever wax ? If not, you must read ArmyVern post to know why it ain't a good idea...

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/63218.0.html

A MUST read!!

 

[proudnurse]

Did you ever wax ? If not, you must read ArmyVern post to know why it ain't a good idea...

http://forums.army.ca/forums/threads/63218.0.html

Definately Yrys! I nearly forgot about this one until you had mentioned it

And for Chris... hopefully your friend will be encouraged.. and not let this hold him back.

~Rebecca

 

[Haggis]

My excess body hair has been a major concern of the CF for years.

My OC has received threatening letters from PETA.

The Animal Shelter has sent officers to observe Regimental sports days to "protect the mascot".

Every time I take off my shirt, someone tries to release me back into the wild.

Trust me:  your friend will have more "rights" groups watching his back that a French speaking gay disabled Negro single mother.

(I'm kidding.... really!)

 

[1feral1]

Ha, I am not that fury, they used to call me the silverbacked gorilla, but I am not a wookie, as we had some of them too, infact that for one, it was his nickname.

If it bothers your mate, do someting about it, and get rid of it!

I don't think its an issue really.

When I was in Iraq, used to get the clippers out and do the No.2 from chest to calf, now thats simply maintained.

"Hey Sarge, can I borrow your clippers?"

"Sure mate, but these are the ones just did my balls with".

"Ah, no thanks Sarge"


Cheers,

Wes

 

[Kat Stevens]

Tell your friend to join as a Combat Engineer; he can be MWO Al C's little brother  ;D  (the older thumperheads will understand).

People seldom, if ever, have serious troubles in the CF based on physical attributes. Yes, there may be some good-natured mocking -- humans are like that. The serious abuse is saved for those who lack a work ethic and competence (once taught).

If your friend is willing to work, he'll be fine.

Hah! Al, the house trained ape.  Mocking HIM in anything other than a friendly manner would get your neck squeezed shut.  The guy could shrug a Bailey panel.  ;D

 

[DSB]

You should see my back....its a shag rug.    That said, guys will be guys and tend to make fun of everything.  Tell your buddy to expect some good natured teasing, (usually from his own friends).  If he's that insecure then maybe he needs to mature a little before he joins.

DSB

 

[CdnArtyWife]

When I was in Iraq, used to get the clippers out and do the No.2 from chest to calf, now thats simply maintained.

"Hey Sarge, can I borrow your clippers?"

"Sure mate, but these are the ones just did my balls with".

"Ah, no thanks Sarge"


Cheers,

Wes

:rofl:

Okay Wes, I've spit my beer all over my computer (that's alcohol abuse where I come from) and now I am wretching at the mental image I am left with.

Thanks much!

:rofl:

 

[Greymatters]

I think once he sees the number of 'wooly mammoths' currently employed in the CF (or even on course with him) he'll see its pretty normal...

 

[1feral1]

Ha! ;D

Cheers,

Wes

 

[Greymatters]

Definately would require a lethal dosing in formaldehyde before next use... 

 

[freeze_time311]

Thanks alot everyone for your response. I was going to print these responses off and show my buddy, so he can see first hand that he will have nothing but a great time in the CF. But I just convinced him to sign up to this website and see for himself. I believe all your humor on this matter will make him realize, it's all in good fun.

In respects to ArmyVern's waxxing post. I read the post lastnight and I am still chuckeling this morning.  :rofl:

 

[armyvern]

Thanks alot everyone for your response. I was going to print these responses off and show my buddy, so he can see first hand that he will have nothing but a great time in the CF. But I just convinced him to sign up to this website and see for himself. I believe all your humor on this matter will make him realize, it's all in good fun.

In respects to ArmyVern's waxxing post. I read the post lastnight and I am still chuckeling this morning.  :rofl:

You convinced him to join the site??? Whoooo!!!

I may need his help in the future. Apparently I have a hair transplant appointment booked. 

 

[freeze_time311]

You convinced him to join the site??? Whoooo!!!

I may need his help in the future. Apparently I have a hair transplant appointment booked. 

I'm sure he'd be more than willing to donate his back hair to a good cause. Ha.
He might ask you to shave his back for him though.

 

[AmmoTech90]

I agree with everyone else, body hair isn't a problem with regards to acceptance, etc...

Depending on how just how hairy he is could cause conundrums in basic with regard to shaving.  I was told to check myself in the mirror at lunch and reshave if required as I had a fairly heavy beard even at 19.  We had one one fellow who matches the description of your friend, his chest hair literally came up under his shirt and tapered down to his beard.  He had to ask the staff how far down to shave as he could easily shave right down the line of his tee-shirt on an almost daily basis.

The staff had to go into a huddle and the end result was, "just below your adams apple"