Experienced opinion only please

[Elle+3]

I am a 34 year old single mother of 3.
I have recently been called to take the Oath on October 5th, for Avionics Tech.
I have given up work, and college, in pursuit of a military career.  I am aware that after Basic Training, I will be training in Kingston and Borden for an excess of a year combined.  It has been a great fear of mine, and has almost been confirmed through word of mouth, that I may be expected to do all of my trades training, without my children, who currently reside with me in Nova Scotia. 
Does anyone have a good idea if a transfer in my case is probable, or if they will indeed force me to train away from my family for such a long time.  Avionics was my 3rd trade choice, and I would also be very willing to change trades out of desperation to keep my family together...IE RMS clerk (my first choice) or supply tech, which are both shorter training periods. Are they likely to allow me to change trades during Basic Training, and who can I call and ask about family arrangements without being looked down on for not making the Canadian Forces number 1 over my children.
Wanting to make a difference for myself, my children and my country, without putting my children aside for up to 2 years and possibly losing custody,
Elle+3

 

[mand3asmom]

I am hoping that responding to this topic will bring it back to the forefront... as i am in the exact same position...

I did my dutifull search as people seem to get annoyed if the question is posted more than once and I found this thread but there seem to be no answers to it  

So if anyone can help here is my specific situation....

I am a 33 year old mother of 4.... I start bmq on August 27.... totally excited about it... except for the fact that I am going Sig Op... which means BMQ (which I am prepared to be away from my children for) then, 7 months in Kingston, On.... we are currently living in Edmonton, AB so that is way to long to be on the other side of the country from my children....I cannot seem to figure out if at least during my trades training if the kids would be allowed to come to?  Any help would be great thanks...

 

[1feral1]

Are your kids older, and do they understand you will not see them for a while? It must not be easy, not only for them, but for you.

Best of luck.


Wes

 

[mand3asmom]

Thanks for the reply... my youngest 2 are twins, they are 3.5.... the other 2 are older (11 and 15) and do understand....

It is going to be hard on me too... that is why i am trying to get it so they will at least be in Kingston for that part of the training... I understand i will likely have to live on base, but on evenings off or weekends off i would like to be able to see them.... of course I doubt it is possible... and that is causing a lot of stress... was hoping someone would have gone through this already....

 

[chimo2u]

Hello! I am a 37 yo female in the process of joining the military as well. I have 2 boys age 11 and 15 and I live in Edmonton too. I can understand your worry as I have thought many of the same things as you; however, I felt my kids were finally at an age where I could do something for myself and in the end benefit the whole family. They know I will be gone to basic training (I don't have dates yet as I am awaiting my final offer.) I applyed for RMS clerk, and only RMS clerk, as it is the only trade that really excites me and I can see myself happy in for a long time!! So my boys know I will be gone, my husband will also be gone (going on tour in Afghanistan). This year will be hard, but we are lucky to have a good family support and my in-laws will be coming down to "raise" my kids while the parents are away!! It can be hard to cope with military life without a good support system in place for the inevitable times that you will end up on duty... be it on training, in the field, or perhaps on tour in another country. I know the military family resource center is a good resource for families and they are there to help you in any way they can. The military expects members to have a reliable plan in place for children and family obligations, because as we all know, training stops for no one. I am pretty sure that at Basic trg. you'll be so busy and Confined to barracks for the first while, that there will most likely be no time for visiting anyone , except perhaps, our kit LOL.  After a certain number of weeks, I believe you earn some weekend time off, and perhaps a short visit could be arranged then. As for trades training, I thought it was conducted much the same way as basic trg.... In a common blg. where you stay with your course mates and go through training day to day on a typical military schedule that is taken up with studying, inspections, and controled timings, etc.... I think it is after trades training and when you get your first posting where life begins to settle into a more typical work-day routine.... and your life begins to become somewhat your own again!! It can be hard, but look at the big picture of all the opportunity your family will have once you have completed your training! You will have job security, financial security and a happiness that you followed your heart and accomplished your goals. I wish you all the best as you begin your journey.... You will be so proud when it is all said and done!!
Feel free to write me if you'd like to talk more, I've lived the military life as a spouse of a serving member. He's been continuously deployed during our 17 yrs. of marriage, so.... sadly, I'm an old hat at saying good-bye. That being said, the rewards of military life have been numerous! I wouldn't have wanted any other life. 
Sincerely,
Marie

*edited for OPSEC

 

[KrissyJ]

I couldn't have said it better than Chimo myself. I just keep telling myself over and over "Whats one year?". My husband is doing his QL5 Training when I will still be in basic, then work up, then afghanistan, so my son will be "raised" by a friend for that time being. It's going to be hard no doubt, but like she said I'm sure during basic, we will be so busy we won't have time to dwell on it. I hope everything works out and you have a great support system at home.

 

[Hogie]

I understand that if your trades courses run more than 6 mos you can req to have your family join you there in quarters (nothing to do with the recruiting office though).

 

[formerarmybrat23]

I am also leaving my son when I goto basic and my training. He will be with family and it will certainly be hard because he will change so much. My biggest fear is that he will forget me, which is making me tear up a little right now (he just turned one). But I know in the long run this will make a big difference in his quailty of life. In my thread on personal stories, I inquired about trips home too. We get two weeks off for Christmas, and the army pays for one trip home. Other then that weekends (sometimes) and major holidays.

Good luckto all the mothers out there. The hardest thing to do is leave your family.

 

[daftandbarmy]

These are excellent questions. I suggest that you contact the MFRC closest to you for answers. They are generally first class at helping troops with family concerns.

Here are some contact numbers FYI. Good luck!


http://www.greenwoodmfrc.ca/english/mfrcs_e.htm