children and the CF

[bled12345]

So my semi gf seems to be pregnant, and if the kid is mine i'm gonna step up the plate and give it my all to be a good dad. I was just wondering if any fathers in the military can give me any advice on how to raise kids while in the army, I know its going to be hard, but I'm not one to shy away from a problem.

What benefits, and loopholes that could come to my advantage should I know about? Are there any perks for soldiers with children, and likewise are there any disadvantages besides the difficulty of being in the army?  Can you still get into JTF2 if you have a kid?

I'm heading for BMQ in st. jean august 14th, so I'm JUST starting my career in the military....

oh well, any advice in this trialsome time would be much appreciated. Thanks, and cheers

 

[patrick666]

Is it almost inevitable to be moved around from post to post throughout your tenure in the CF or can you get lucky and remain in one post for the long term? A lot of variables must be present in, where you're needed, what you do, etc... if you do have kids or a family, should you go in knowing you WILL be moving a few times?

Cheers

 

[Gunner]

So my semi gf seems to be pregnant, and if the kid is mine i'm gonna step up the plate and give it my all to be a good dad.

Hey, I'm not sure if you meant this the way it sounds but I'll give you some free marriage advice. 

If you have a "semi" girlfriend and are unsure if the child is yours, you may not want to get married to this girl as I foresee problems on the horizon.  Military life can be very unforgiving and you can be away from home alot.  This causes stresses on the marriage that are not always inherent in conventional occupations. 

If the child is yours, do the proper thing and take responsibility for it (ie child support).  Moreover, be the best possible Dad the child but don't get married/shack up with someone that you don't have a stable relationship with.  It won't work out.

Sermonizing ends...my 2 cents only.

 

[c4th]

Wisdom to heed.

Still get up in the morning and look forward to wearing Canada's uniform....'cause it beats sitting in that trench naked 

 

[SHELLDRAKE!!]

The CF is very accomodating to those with children for the most part. Firstly, postings wise, will depend on your career choice. There are those that have spent their entire career at one posting (non-combat arms trades) and then there are those that have 2-4 postings in their entire career. There are also those who are constantly posted or gone from home alot(ie: JTF,SAR TECH,Combat arms). First figure out whats more important to you your kid(s) or being jtf.

 

[aesop081]

..... There are also those who are constantly posted or gone from home alot(ie: JTF,SAR TECH,Combat arms).

moving.....

I have 12 years in and i have been posted to Petawawa, Edmonton, Gagetown and Greenwood.  I am posted to Comox this august. 

Get used to moving....lol

 

[beach_bum]

Hey, I'm not sure if you meant this the way it sounds but I'll give you some free marriage advice.  

If you have a "semi" girlfriend and are unsure if the child is yours, you may not want to get married to this girl as I foresee problems on the horizon.   Military life can be very unforgiving and you can be away from home alot.   This causes stresses on the marriage that are not always inherent in conventional occupations.  

If the child is yours, do the proper thing and take responsibility for it (ie child support).   Moreover, be the best possible Dad the child but don't get married/shack up with someone that you don't have a stable relationship with.   It won't work out.

Sermonizing ends...my 2 cents only.

I couldn't have said it better myself.  Getting married (or staying married for that matter) for "the child's sake" is not the right answer.  Owning up to it is the right thing to do.  Pay the support and be a part of the child's life. You don't need to be married for that.

 

[c4th]

moving.....

12 years in....

Finally a good posting.  Enjoy the left coast.

 

[NavComm]

I'm not a father but as a single female parent who didn't marry the dad or get any child support (my choice).... I say if you are not interested in the mother, then don't even consider marrying her. Your children grow up and have lives of their own, your partner is supposed to grow old with you. Poor planning on both your parts shouldn't mean a lifetime of unhappiness, gone are the days of shot gun weddings. Be as involved as you can be or want to be with the child because that is your right but don't waste your time or hers pretending that this  elevates your true feelings for her from 'semi' gf to wife status.

 

[bled12345]

wow, thanks for all of the amazing advice. Some very realistic opinions given here. Thank god though, she's not pregnant!!!!!! I don't know why she was 2 weeks late, but thank god, thats all I gotta say... now I can focus entirely on kicking ass in the army. I'm going infantry.

peace and love guys, that was awsome advice and i'm very grateful for it.

 

[NavComm]

wow, thanks for all of the amazing advice. Some very realistic opinions given here. Thank god though, she's not pregnant!!!!!! I don't know why she was 2 weeks late, but thank god, thats all I gotta say... now I can focus entirely on kicking *** in the army. I'm going infantry.

peace and love guys, that was awsome advice and i'm very grateful for it.

Thank goodness! Now remember this word: D-U-R-E-X

 

[hoote]

Or this one...

A-B-S-T-I-N-E-N-C-E

 

[TCBF]

"Or this one... A-B-S-T-I-N-E-N-C-E"

- And you would be the RC Padre for what Regiment?

- How about this one...G-I-V-E P-R-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-I-C-E.

Tom

 

[hoote]

Whoa,  slow down there.  Not trying to rain on anyone's parade.  But when you think about it, practically, it is the best plan until marriage.  Putting religion aside, nothing is more unpractical than an unplanned pregnancy for a guy and his semi-girlfriend.  First and foremost it is best for the child to be born into a family where the parents are married and fully committed by oath and by law.  Second, have you ever tried raising a child alone?  Or been part of a single parent home?  It is extremely stressful on all involved.  Third, single mothers are more likely to live in poverty and children raised in poverty are more likely to have poor grades, be involved in crime and perpetuate the poverty.  Those are the stats.  I could go on and on. 

I've seen this first hand in own family and many other families.  You can mock my values but you cannot argue their practicality.

 

[TCBF]

"I've seen this first hand in own family and many other families.  You can mock my values but you cannot argue their practicality."

- You are right.  I was a bit quick on the draw and wide of the mark with that one.  I must remember that accuracy should take precedence over speed and wit.

Regards,

Tom

 

[hoote]

Thanks for that Tom. 
Good luck to you in your military endeavors! 
Hoote

 

[Jagd]

Do you get moved around alot in the infantry?