be prepared.

[Maxadia]

Understandable, yes.

But that should be the exception...not becoming a norm.

 

[jwtg]

He's 18 and has never been away from home. Not everyone has lived on their own for a few years.

Not everyone's cut out for life in the CF.  No shame in that; better he figure it out now, while he's young and still only on BMQ, than later when it's more difficult to alter his path in life.

 

[The_Falcon]

He's 18 and has never been away from home. Not everyone has lived on their own for a few years.

And????  People have been joining the military at that age for decades now.  Many of them were leaving home for the first time.  :

 

[George Wallace]

And????  People have been joining the military at that age for decades now.  Many of them were leaving home for the first time.  :

But ....... Today, so many want to live in their parent's basement.  >

 

[The_Falcon]

But ....... Today, so many want to live in their parent's basement.  >

It took a while, but as soon as I was able to financially, I was out, not having a basement in the family home helps .

 

[td_2013]

My hubby is in BMQ right now and while he OBVIOUSLY has stressful / challenging days... he knows that it is a game, and he tells me how amazing of an experience it is - already. The people you meet (whether it be good or bad!) the staff, and the everyday things you get to experience is phenomenal. You are not there to fail, they don't WANT you to fail... you are there to be woken up... That life and lifestyle is obviously not going to be for everyone, but it is inevitable that you will screw up, there is no way around that... you are there to "screw up" so you can learn from it... if you don't embrace it and take it all in, then you are done.

 

[George Wallace]

It took a while, but as soon as I was able to financially, I was out, not having a basement in the family home helps .

While you say that, there are many today who still will not leave that basement, even if they are finacially able to.

 

[The_Falcon]

While you say that, there are many today who still will not leave that basement, even if they are finacially able to.

I know, I am in that age bracket, I know quite a few people like that.

 

[Eye In The Sky]

My hubby is in BMQ right now and while he OBVIOUSLY has stressful / challenging days... he knows that it is a game, and he tells me how amazing of an experience it is - already.

While some aspects of it are 'a game' and you hear the term 'play the game' etc, it is actually trg.  For example - inspections; they teach things like teamwork and attention to detail.  Attention to detail passes over to most everything you will do in the CF, whether it is wpns handling, document handling, getting your DEUs ready for a parade, you name it.  Teamwork is part of the foundation of the military. 

BMQ is also the start of the transition thru the 'discipline stages' ( -> Imposed Discipline <- , *Group Discipline, Habits & Behaviour, Self Discipline.  IIRC, those are from SLC in '02).  Discipline is another foundation of the military. 

There are some core lessons learned on BMQ/BMOQ that shouldn't be ignored or forgotten, which makes it far more than "a game".

Not directed at you or your hubby, but more for "potential recruit types" who may read this.  :2c: 


*not barrackroom discipline/justice like blanket parties, etc.  Think "doing what everyone else is doing and the team looking out for each other".  You have a thread you can't see a minute before inspection, someone removes it.  Bloggins forgets his gloves, you remind him, etc.

 

[td_2013]

While some aspects of it are 'a game' and you hear the term 'play the game' etc, it is actually trg.  For example - inspections; they teach things like teamwork and attention to detail.  Attention to detail passes over to most everything you will do in the CF, whether it is wpns handling, document handling, getting your DEUs ready for a parade, you name it.  Teamwork is part of the foundation of the military. 

BMQ is also the start of the transition thru the 'discipline stages' ( -> Imposed Discipline <- , *Group Discipline, Habits & Behaviour, Self Discipline.  IIRC, those are from SLC in '02).  Discipline is another foundation of the military. 

There are some core lessons learned on BMQ/BMOQ that shouldn't be ignored or forgotten, which makes it far more than "a game".

Not directed at you or your hubby, but more for "potential recruit types" who may read this.  :2c: 


*not barrackroom discipline/justice like blanket parties, etc.  Think "doing what everyone else is doing and the team looking out for each other".  You have a thread you can't see a minute before inspection, someone removes it.  Bloggins forgets his gloves, you remind him, etc.

Couldn't agree with you more. For example, the sewing(off the top of my head)... he told me that there were so many people whining and complaining and "not seeing the point in this" and such, and he said he totally understands why they get you to do it, aside from having your stuff all labeled, it teaches (OR SHOULD) you patience and persistence.
Already when he is home on weekends and stuff things with his personality and habits have changed, for the better... he can't really see it, as that is taking his lifestyle now, but we can see it... I think it's neat, and I like what they do there, and I don't even know the half of it! Lol

 

[SentryMAn]

The sewing also is a bonding thing for your section, you get to spend a lot of time sitting around stiching tags to your gear, thus you get to talk a lot to your section mates.

I learned a lot and made a lot of friends during Basic, and it started with that first week end of spending 10 hours a day sewing.

 

[Sunnyns]

Do you think.  Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings. 

If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.

Just my thoughts

 

[Jarnhamar]

Do you think.  Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings. 

If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.

Just my thoughts

I think you hit the nail on the head Sunnyns.  Being cut off from your connections back home sucks but recruits quickly get used to being out of touch because their days are so regimented and busy. They literally don't have time to miss home.

Chatting/texting/facebooking with everyone back home every night MAY seem like it helps but I'm willing to bet all it does is reinforce the idea that the recruit is away from home and away from their family, every night. Instead of loosing yourself in the training and experience you sit there and feel sorry for yourself.

Naturally that may not be the case for everyone but I bet it's a majority.



Artyman I was giving you a hard time because I thought that you almost sounded as if you were bragging about your peers who VRd.

 

[BeyondTheNow]

Do you think.  Maybe it's the cell phones that are causing the problem.  When I went and my husband went we talked once a week.  Now with the cell phones and computers, people are talking everyday and MAYBE this is not allowing the kids and parents to cut the apron strings. 

If you are not talking on the phone everyday to family back home you would be spending your time bonding with the platoon.  Everyone is in the same boat there, they are all away from home.

Just my thoughts

Agreed. There was a policy change thread I commented on a bit ago about the use of cells and such while at BMQ/on course.  I was surprised that they were simply allowed--at all.  When I decided to apply, I was purely under the assumption that come that time, I would have very little contact with my family. I knew it was going to be difficult, but that was part of the whole shebang, so to speak. I knew it, my family knew it. I'm prepared for it. Being in the Military means I'm going to be away. Potentially, for long periods of time.

Personally speaking, talking to someone I care about every night will just drag the whole process out, not to mention probably making it harder for my son. Each time I speak to him, he's going to be reminded that I'm not there. Just as I would like my time to engulf myself in this new chapter of my life, he also needs to continue with life as much as possible and adjust to my absence.

I don't think basic will be easy by any means. But for me, reminding myself of my old life every day will just make it harder.



Edit typo

 

[Scott]

I'm glad someone referenced that abortion of a thread that just will not fade into obscurity (the iGadgets on BMQ thread). Glad because this seems to be reasoned and balanced, not a bunch of people who've not yet even been sworn in claiming they know rule changes such as the iGadget one will lessen VRs and the like.

My brother-in-law went to work outside of McMurray last year on one of those hundred days of hell rig jobs. Good money but hard slog for 3 1/2 months. He asked me the best way to get through the time away from his boy/family as I have been travelling for work since, well, I started working and I have a lot of experience on the drilling side of things. The best answer I could give him was that his young fellow will learn and adapt, just like he did, and that it would be an important lesson and opportunity for them both. Further, if he pined away his time he might not learn what he needs to and end up putting his fingers where they should not go - something his boy might not find a good experience after years of reflection.

He survived his first winter with only a minor scrape that was unrelated to where his mind was. He got to speak to the young fellow about once a week via Skype, when they even had WiFi. For my part, I gathered up the little gaffer and took him to a couple of hockey games and generally gave him some male bonding time he might have been missing with Dad gone. He looked forward to those visits because he knew he'd get a little spoiled, stay up a little late, and get to eat what he maybe should not.

I'm away right now. I email my wife once or twice a day but due to the hassle of calling internationally (or finding a phone that will) I rarely bother. We got used to it. I've had to blast off at last moments for funerals and the like, but that's life and there's fuck all you can do about life happening while you are away.

Management of change - learn that phrase.

When I get home from this trip I will have two days off before I have to head for the city, about 3 hours from my home, to teach some new guys about the job. I can already state that my wife knows I might not be as available during that time because I will be busy. If I am not training the newbs I might take meetings with my boss, or might meet clients, or maybe do something on my own to relax. She gets it. She adapted. She manages. And she does well.

So I absolutely roll my eyes when I see such a large amount of what amounts, at least to me, as whining over something that will occupy such a small amount of your life. And yes, I am perfectly qualified to make my comments as I have done a BMQ and various other things that have taken me away from home. I just don't get it. I won't get it. I think people occupied with something so little have a lot to consider before joining a dynamic outfit like the CF - yet they don't because many people nowadays seem to think that light fucking bends around them.

[/rant]

 

[BeyondTheNow]

Thanks Scott. It's very helpful hearing of other's strategies and how they cope with the distance/inaccessibility.

I'm fortunate in that I've experienced being on two different sides of the earth (Canada/South Korea) from my immediate and extended family, so I recall vividly not being in regular contact for a period. What actually surprised me the most was the adjustment needed when we were face to face again, not so much the not speaking regularly.  The changes needed for me in re-establishing the old dynamic were interesting. It was very eye-opening for me.

One thing I am looking forward to with Military life is knowing there are/will be many in the same situation and experiencing the same types of feelings.

 

[Messorius]

I felt better on the evenings where I didn't call home to my husband. If I felt lonely I went and found a buddy to chatter at. Made staying in the proper headspace much easier.

 

[TYLERgibson]

I think you hit the nail on the head Sunnyns.  Being cut off from your connections back home sucks but recruits quickly get used to being out of touch because their days are so regimented and busy. They literally don't have time to miss home.

Chatting/texting/facebooking with everyone back home every night MAY seem like it helps but I'm willing to bet all it does is reinforce the idea that the recruit is away from home and away from their family, every night. Instead of loosing yourself in the training and experience you sit there and feel sorry for yourself.

Naturally that may not be the case for everyone but I bet it's a majority.



Artyman I was giving you a hard time because I thought that you almost sounded as if you were bragging about your peers who VRd.

I wasn't bragging at all. Sorry if it came across that way

 

[TechLife]

I find it strange that people even find the time to go on facebook, text, etc... while doing basic. I remember having more things to do than hours in the day most of time I was there.
It wasn't until near the end of BMQ that I had any time to even pick up a book and read. As mentally straining as BMQ can be and is intended to be, it shows you that your "limits" you once believed you had, are for the most part, just in your head.

That being said, over the years some of the best times I have had in my life were on courses (including BMQ). Being surrounded by a lot of people and a lack of sleep many times will end in fits of uncontrollable laughter. Also, I wouldn't judge those who put in their VR's, in many cases there is a lot more to it that they would rather not discuss, just something to remember!