Any Good Combat Engineer Stories(Funny Stories) everyone put on there helmets

[meaf0rdm0]

Here is one of the numerous ones i have in my memory database i was a Spr in 4CER (1991 i think) and my section commander was Sgt Weggert was tasked to do a confirmation to our Fall Ex and my section at this particular time was doing a T-breach through a ditch half full of water and Sgt Weggert wanted to make sure it was done completely so there we are Lyndon, Little Butch, Sgt Weggert and myself (MO), so we are 1 metre apart and of course i got the center of the ditch so all you can see is the front part of the barrel of my C-9 (Bi pod legs fully extended) to the front sights and my upper body above my shoulders and there i am i can feel the water running in my sleeve and out the bottom cuff of my pants nd i cant stop smiling because i am thinking is this ever F**cking Stupid but i am still doing it and when i think back it still makes me smile and now that i am Airforce and when things get bad i think back to that thought and smile and i know it will never get that bad again and if it does no big deal it is all good   8)

 

[Diver409]

I'll be trying to put my best intelligent twist on this after my passionate combat diver rants...I hope it works :-[

     During my time on Roto 8 Bosnia I was part of an engineer section in Drvar and we had the pleasure of being tasked to re-deck a bridge in the Martin-Braud valley. (forgive the spelling...it's been a while)   After the task was complete we had more than a few left over portions of decking.   It seemed a waste of good oak (yah, I said oak) so we decided we'd haul the 'plaque-sized pieces upto the engineer floor at the top of the Inn we called home.   The question was...how to do it without having to load your your arms up with backbreaking loads of oak and climb the 80+ stairs to the sniper loft?   Well...we're engineers...we can think of something right?   So, a zip-line was constructed.   In hindsight, maybe be a less binding material (like SWR) may have been a better choice rather than actual rope.   So, we attached a taught rope to a support beam or two on the roof...and then to the A-frame on an HLVW pallet that was down on the ground.   On the ground we filled a regulation army duffel bag with oak blocks, clipped the two carrying handles and the end-bag lifting handle to two separate carabeeners, attached a tag line to the end-bag beener and then attached the other beener to the zip-line.   Myself and one other were up in the sniper loft with hands-on the tag line and began to haul the package for all we were worth :evil:.   It was slow going because the of the package weight and the abrasive rope, but we were managing.   About half-way up the rope we notice the stress on the end-bag handle is more than a little...and we start to worry :-\.   We tried to smoothen out the pulling and managed to get it to the small window we were pulling through.   I reached through and grabbed onto the handle but we were faced with a new problem...the window was smaller than the bag of wood.   As I turned to my partner to discuss the problem...I heard a noise that turned me white   .   The handle was tearing away from the bag!!   I had a split second to yell down to my section commander who was standing in-line with the zip-line...'CLEAR THE LINE'!! ~rrriiipp~ and she was gone.   My Sgt (as calm as a cucumber) side-stepped the missile as it slammed into the A-frame with enough force to turn the bag into a French designer top.
     After we finished walking the blocks up, we were told that the camp MWO was standing behind my Sgt when the catastrophe occurred.   When we picked our jaws off the floor our Sgt told us that he thought nothing of it...it was just engineers doing engineer things. >

 

[Kat Stevens]

Early (VERY early) 80's, Carpiquet Barracks Chilliwack.  Toby Todaro, Rick Lauzon, Kevin Prochnow, and a bunch of others order Apollo's Pizza after an exhausting Sunday Hangover Soccer session.  While the delivery dude is inside the shacks delivering the leaning tower of pizzas, "Smudge" Smith swipes his car and goes for a joyride.  Ends up crashing the car through the fence at the RAWA Water Supply Training area.  Big shi*storm comes down, no charges laid......Ah, memories...

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[PIPER DOOON]

Don't know all the facts, but who cut the top off a Naptha drum with a disk grinder??????

 

[Diver409]

From my boss here in the Stan "RAZOR", he says it was the stuff NCO "MO".

 

[sapper332]

"Grinder Boy" was a fellas name Morris. Apparently the drum HAD been purged prior to getting out the grinder - he even knew to fill the drum with water prior to starting.... but left approx 6" dead space between the top of the water line and the lid. It went sour when he had almost made the complete cut around the lid. As his face came in line with the large opening used for pouring, the naphtha fume rich air void inside the drum ignited due to the sparks form the grinder. The resulting flame exited the opening and the result was no 'MO' eyebrows, moustache and a close trim of his bangs! No 'MO monkey business after that!!!

Chimo

 

[meaf0rdm0]

OK now boy's the story is like this i asked the Pol Rep what was in the barrel prior to starting grinding and his reply was hydraulic fluid and it was emptied and purged so i thought OK no big deal so i started grinding away and noticed some smoke so i stooped grinding to let it cool down then whoosh i was how did Humber put it a Flaming Mo and not one of those guys, but it is OK it only took about 1 month for my eye brows and hair to grow back it wasn't until after did i find out it was Naphtha that he was mistaken (Thanks for the memories E49G  it was a gooder)

 

[sapper332]

Ahhh Mo, you make it seem like yesterday!!!!! Fortunately for us all it never made it to the safety digest!

 

[eod/combatdiver]

Who is the RAZOR!

 

[meaf0rdm0]

the way i look at it is what doesn't kill you makes you stronger or hair grow back thicker

 

[Diver409]

'Razor' would be the 2Tp WO for 23Fd Sqn here in the Ghan...and another diver type.

 

[Spr]

The flaming Mo incident is one of the funnier things I've seen happen....I remember hearing the boom while on the front porch of the troop house - the gym//Bar b q pit - after we were sure Mo wasn't seriously hurt it was a good belly laugh. Same house was where the troops lost their poisonous pet snake, there were some goodtimes on that tour...remember when the Tp WO went on R&R and the slivo & wine came out?

 

[aesop081]

The flaming Mo incident is one of the funnier things I've seen happen....I remember hearing the boom while on the front porch of the troop house - the gym//Bar b q pit - after we were sure Mo wasn't seriously hurt it was a good belly laugh. Same house was where the troops lost their poisonous pet snake, there were some goodtimes on that tour...remember when the Tp WO went on R&R and the slivo & wine came out?

I remember all that........shit that was a long time ago

 

[eod/combatdiver]

I have a couple of good stories of dark cloud also known as good go gord or also known as the surveyor slayer.  We were putting in the new border between Iraq and Kuwait and the troop was working with a surveying team from New Zealand.  After the spots were GPS in for the border markers we had to put in 6 Ft pickets to indicate the corners.  Well the slayers was hammering the pickets with a sledge and every so often would check if the picket was secure.  Well after he checked the picket the Kiwi surveyor decided that he needed to enssure the quality of slayers work and check the picket himself.  Just as the Kiwi put his hand on top of the picket to check if it was good to go the slayer used the sledge to give the picket a couple more taps.  Well the Kiwi's thumb came off in with out a hitch and the slayer did a good job taking care of the casualty.  Moral to the story is never check a sappers work until he is done.

Mike

 

[Spr]

Zodiac on the rocks!...RB 98

 

[Spr.Earl]

I have a couple of good stories of dark cloud also known as good go gord or also known as the surveyor slayer.   We were putting in the new border between Iraq and Kuwait and the troop was working with a surveying team from New Zealand.   After the spots were GPS in for the border markers we had to put in 6 Ft pickets to indicate the corners.   Well the slayers was hammering the pickets with a sledge and every so often would check if the picket was secure.   Well after he checked the picket the Kiwi surveyor decided that he needed to enssure the quality of slayers work and check the picket himself.   Just as the Kiwi put his hand on top of the picket to check if it was good to go the slayer used the sledge to give the picket a couple more taps.   Well the Kiwi's thumb came off in with out a hitch and the slayer did a good job taking care of the casualty.   Moral to the story is never check a sappers work until he is done.

Mike

Mike that reminds me of "How can you tell an Engineer?  Look for lost fingers" ;D

 

[eod/combatdiver]

RB 98 thats a good story. Young diver was trying to start up the zodiac and managed to start it in gear and threw him out that back and the boat took off and launched it self on the rocks.  Lucky for us that bow was not pointing out to the Victoria harbour or it would of been a classic hillbilly chase.

mike

 

[SprCForr]

Bridge Camp '80 along the Fraser River by the Aggasiz Br in March. Doing day builds to practice for the Gallop.

The current is fast (don't remember exactly how fast, but quick enough that we were not to enter the water) and we're building the LFR. Our numbers are way down so it's taking us a while. Clouston (is he even still in?) was operating the Rotork and pushing the raft after completion. The A/Tp WO finally shows up at about 2200 to relieve the Recce Sgt who still has to recce the next site. He is not happy because he figured the A/Tp WO was dogging it. He probably was, as he was not the most professional. It's about 0300 (we started at about 1000) and the raft is finally dismantled and loaded, everyone is tired and the acting TpWO is getting pissed that the current keeps pushing the Rotork away from the trailer. BTW, he has no idea how quick the current is since he hasn't seen it, and he hasn't bothered to look at the Recce Report. He figures the operator is just being incompetant. So the yelling starts. So much for noise discipline. Did I mention he wasn't very professional? The yelling isn't helping Clouston load the boat, so after about 20 minutes of this he orders us troopies to cover off with carrying handles (all 13 of us) and we will have to load the boat by hand. So why aren't we going into the water?! Lots more yelling ensues. 13 Sappers can't convince this Sgt that going in the water is pretty much a fast trip to Delta, and never mind that it is impossible for 13 sappers to load a boat like that by hand. Well about now we are all guilty of mutiny, sedition, etc etc. The Recce Sgt finally hears the yelling through the armour of the Lynx and comes over to defuse the situation. The 5 ton and trailer is pulled over to a back eddy to load the boat out of the current, which is what Clouston was yelling to shore that he wanted to do, and the boat is loaded. First light hits and we finally get back to Base.

Now the next day, (no mercy for us) we're back out there again with the LFR and this time we'll ferry the Lynx.  The Tp WO is cranked still, so everything is double time and we're all idle and get moving dammit! The A/Tp WO is crew commanding it and the Recce driver (who'se name begins with Smudge) is not impressed. Especially after the early morning situation. So he finishes preparing the Lynx and mounting the guns while on the raft.

Now, he will never admit that the .50 barrel was dropped on the A/TpWO's foot, breaking it, was deliberate. He maintains it was an accident, and the troops that witnessed it directly support that, but you got to wonder if that timely incident that removed the Sgt from the Br Camp and Gallop wasn't divine intervention or happenstance.

;D

 

[Kat Stevens]

The A/WO's name wouldn't rhyme with Blobkowich, would it, Jeff?  ;D

CHIMO,  Kat

 

[SprCForr]

UNPROFOR Roto 1 '92. 2 Tp attached to 3 VP out of Camp Polom. The hand-over from 2 Tp 4 CER has just taken place. 1 CEU has just dispatched a recce element to confirm the scope of work and the requirements for winterization. Nothing has been prepared and the buildings are in sh*t state. In comes Mac Torrie, Dale Chalice and a few officers to begin the recce. A day or two later the officers are assessing the buildings within Camp Polom and they run across the Tp CP. It was simply a mod tent built on a level raised platform (the ground sloped) with wooden end walls. There was a little balcony attached with a screen door. The boys (4 CER) did a neat job, staining and finishing the end wall. Well, to get back to it, these two officers come into the CP and start looking around. One of them (ex MCpl) is pretty full of himself, first tour, lots o' drama, with an Inf unit, gonna save these dumb asses type of attitiude. He looks down at the TpWO, who is trying to ignore this interruption, working at the pile of returns and says "WO. What exactly was this before?
A puzzled look attaches to the WO's face. "What was what before? sir"
"This, WO"
"Sir, sigh... this is a fu*cking tent"
Officer does the  : (He is dealing after all with a lowly TpWO) "Not the tent WO, but this. What was this before?" Pointing at the end wall.
"F*ck sir, it was lumber" and goes back to work.
The officer left without another word and never came back in the 4 months that 1 CEU was there.  ;D

Sorry Dan, I couldn't resist.