What were they thinking?.....Dumb criminals.......add your dumb criminal story

[ENGINEERS WIFE]

Man robbed buying crack calls cops who arrest him

By The Associated Press


HARTFORD, Conn. - An East Hartford man called police to report he had been robbed while trying to buy crack cocaine.


Max Minnefield called police Monday to tell them he had paid a man and a woman $8 for drugs he never received. Police charged him with criminal attempt to commit possession of narcotics.


During his arraignment Tuesday, Judge Bradford Ward asked Minnefield, "Did you really think the police were going to go after the people?" He added that his question was rhetorical.


Prosecutors later dropped the charges.


Laura Weslund, Minnefield's public defender, said no drugs were ever found.

 

[ENGINEERS WIFE]

Arkansas suspect leaves behind cell phone for police

By The Associated Press


FORREST CITY, Ark. - Forrest City police weren't able to catch their man after a high-speed chase through town, but the cell phone he left behind gave away his identity.


The chase started just before 11 p.m. Monday after officers received a call about people "fighting in the street with guns," police said. When police arrived, they managed to block one car from getting away. The man in that car spoke briefly with officers before speeding away - and the chase was on.


The man crashed his Toyota Camry into a house and ran away, police said. But as officers searched the car, the man's cell phone rang and the caller asked for the suspect by name.


Officers said a search of the car uncovered a set of scales and two plastic bags, one containing marijuana and the other containing crack cocaine.


Police declined to name the man Tuesday but said they were still searching for him.

 

[kratz]

From today's TheStar.com. You can't write this kind of stupidity for television.

Shoplifters pay for TV confession
U.S. couple indicted after coolly 'fessing up to crime spree on 'Dr. Phil'

Sep 21, 2009 04:30 AM
Tony Perry
Los Angeles Times

SAN DIEGO, Calif.–Even by the confessional standards of the Dr. Phil television show, it was a whopper of an admission.

The nicely dressed couple said they had roamed several states as shoplifters, stealing mostly toys, selling them on the Internet and making as much as $1 million (U.S.) over seven years.

"I'm no lawyer or a cop," said show host Phil McGraw, incredulously, "but isn't that a federal crime?"

The wife paused, then said, "Yeah, it is."

Last week, a federal grand jury in San Diego agreed, handing down an indictment against Matthew Allen Eaton, 34, and his wife, Laura, 26. And, as McGraw predicted, the transcript and video of last November's show are central to the prosecution's case.

for more at link

 

[PMedMoe]

I can't figure out what is worse; going on national TV to "confess" to a crime, or pleading "not guilty" after said confession.  ???

 

[kratz]

Another dumb criminal entry:

from the National Post

Note to self: never tattoo own name on body if wanted by police
Jana G. Pruden, Canwest News Service 
Published: Tuesday, September 22, 2009

If you're going to give police a fake name, make sure you don't have your real name tattooed on your body. A Regina man learned the hard way when he was arrested earlier this year. David William McKay, 28, pleaded guilty to obstruction yesterday in Regina provincial court. Crown prosecutor Lee Hnatiuk told the court that Regina police were looking for McKay, who was the subject of a warrant, and went to a house hoping to locate the wanted man.

Mr. Hnatiuk said officers found a man matching his description, but the suspect claimed his name was Matthew, though he was unable to spell that name. He told police he had met McKay once, describing him as "a badass." The officers arrested the man, and later noticed the suspect had "David McKay" tattooed on his back, though he continued to insist that was not his name.

 

[CougarKing]

;D

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/10/19/ap/business/main5398647.shtml

Oct. 20, 2009

(AP)  DETROIT (AP) - When two Visalia, Calif., police officers swung their cruisers behind a sport utility vehicle that had been carjacked at gunpoint early Sunday, they prepared for a dangerous high-speed chase.

The 2009 Chevrolet Tahoe roared away with officers in pursuit, but shortly after the suspect made a right turn, operators at General Motors Co.'s OnStar service sent a command that electronically disabled the gas pedal and the SUV gradually came to a halt.

The flustered thief got out and ran, but was quickly nabbed after he climbed several fences and fell into a backyard swimming pool, police said.

It was the first time since OnStar began offering the service in the 2009 model year that it was used to end a chase that could otherwise have had dire consequences.

"He wouldn't have pulled over if OnStar hadn't have shut the vehicle down," said Visalia Police Sgt. Steve Phillips. "Generally pursuits end in a collision."

The whole thing began when Jose Ruiz, 33, of nearby Lindsay, Calif., was sitting in his Tahoe in a lighted parking lot about 3 a.m. Sunday while his cousin was talking on a cell phone in the passenger seat. Out of the corner of his eye, Ruiz saw a man walking toward him.

(See more at link)

 

[bdave]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HQ-dH2ALG8

The original version has no audio since it's from a security camera. So someone dubbed sounds so it seems like you are there (footsteps, etc). This is absolutely hilarious.

 

[ENGINEERS WIFE]

Yah know you're a redneck when.....



Man drives motorized La-Z-Boy while drunk

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
   
DULUTH, Minn. (AP) — A Minnesota man has pleaded guilty to driving his motorized La-Z-Boy chair while drunk.

A criminal complaint says 62-year-old Dennis LeRoy Anderson told police he left a bar in the northern Minnesota town of Proctor on his chair after drinking eight or nine beers.

Prosecutors say Anderson’s blood alcohol content was 0.29, more than three times the legal limit, when he crashed into a parked vehicle in August 2008. He was not seriously injured.

Police said the chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.

Sixth Judicial District Judge Heather Sweetland stayed 180 days of jail time Monday and ordered two years of probation for Anderson. His attorney, David Keegan, did not immediately return a call for comment.


http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/WeirdNews/2009/10/22/11493581-ap.html

 

[PMedMoe]

Maybe stupid, maybe not, depends on how large your home town is, but figure the odds of this happening:

Robbery victim IDs suspect from old yearbook

ERIE, Pa. (AP) — After being robbed of his jacket, cell phone, keys and $300, a Pennsylvania man was left with the odd feeling that his assailants looked familiar. Police say that’s because they went to school together about 15 years ago.

Erie police arrested 30-year-old Anthony Williams on Monday on charges of robbery, terroristic threats and simple assault. The other suspect has not been found.

They say Williams was one of two men who accosted the victim outside a convenience store Oct. 17.

Police say the victim recognized Williams because they both attended Central Career and Technical School in the mid-1990s. The victim brought old yearbooks to the police station and identified a newer picture of Williams from a photo lineup.

;D

 

[gcclarke]

Well, it is a city of over 280,000, including suburbs, so I would say the chances there are rather slim

Still, always good to see low-lifes brought down by dumb luck.

 

[PMedMoe]

Still, always good to see low-lifes brought down by dumb luck.

Yep, karma's a b1tch, ain't it.  ;D

 

[CougarKing]

At least she was honest:

NEILSVILLE, Wis. — The call came into the 911 dispatcher: "I don't want to hurt anybody. I'm drunk." And with that, Mary Strey, 49, of Granton, reported herself as a drunken driver about three miles northeast of Neilsville in central Wisconsin.

Clark County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Jim Backus said Monday that Strey's call on Oct. 24 led deputies to cite her for misdemeanor drunken driving with a blood-alcohol level double the legal limit to drive. She makes her first court appearance Dec. 10.

Backus said drunken drivers reporting themselves is rare.

In the 911 call, Strey said she wanted to report a drunken driver and the dispatcher asked if she was behind the suspect vehicle. "I am them," Strey said. She then followed the dispatcher's advice to pull over and turn on her flashers, telling him she had been "drinking all night long."

It was unclear if Strey has hired an attorney yet.

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5i5tAV06tvIjrY7YAJAj_TBceLXJgD9BNLDAO0

 

[uptheglens]

This is something so stupid it should've come straight out of Sunnyvale trailer park:

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/World-News/Marker-Pen-Burglars-Suspects-Miller-And-McNelly-Caught-In-Carroll-Iowa-With-Disguises/Article/200910415421313?lpos=World_News_Carousel_Region_4&lid=ARTICLE_15421313_Marker_Pen_Burglars%3A_Suspects_Miller_And_McNelly_Caught_In_Carroll%2C_Iowa%2C_With_Disguises

Marker Pen 'Burglars' Draw Cops' Attention

Two burglary suspects who covered their faces by drawing on 'masks' with a permanent marker pen have been arrested.

Suspects Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller

Mug shots of McNelly and Miller after their arrest

A witness told police that two men with painted disguises were trying to break into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa, US.

The caller added that the pair, both wearing black hooded sweatshirts, drove off in a large white car.

Police soon spotted a 1994 Buick Roadmaster that matched the vehicle description and stopped it.

They found two occupants with mask-like scribbling on faces, Iowa's Daily Times Herald reported.

Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20, were arrested at gunpoint because of reports they might be armed, but neither man had a weapon.

Both suspects were charged with attempted second-degree burglary and have been released on bail.

McNelly was also charged with driving while intoxicated.

The pair was due in court on November 10 for a preliminary hearing.

Second-degree burglary is Class D felony punishable by up to five years in prison and a $7,500 (£4,575) fine.

 

[PMedMoe]

Some of these "criminals" may want to read this book:  Guilty by Reason of Stupidty.

Read excerpts here.  Absolutely hilarious!!

 

[PMedMoe]

Authorities say man stole car to make court appearance on previous auto theft charge

VALLEJO, Calif. - The California Highway Patrol say a man stole a car to make a court appearance on a previous auto theft charge.

The patrol says 24-year-old Samuel Botchvaroff, of Oakland, was arrested Tuesday after he left his arraignment at the Vallejo courthouse on auto theft charges. He was booked into Solano County Jail on suspicion of auto theft and possession of stolen property.

Authorities were looking for the stolen car after its tracking system alerted them about the theft. The car was stolen from Oakland.

They say Botchvaroff told officers his own car had been impounded and that he had no other way to get to his arraignment.

More on link above

Uh, ever heard of a taxi or a bus??  ???

 

[PMedMoe]

I guess this guy might want to change his cell service provider.

Man arrested for calling 911, asking for sex

Florida police say a man arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex claimed it was the only number he could dial after running out of cell phone minutes.

Tampa police said 29-year-old Joshua Basso made sexual comments to the 911 dispatcher and asked if he could come to her house. Investigators say she hung up, but he called back four more times.

He was arrested about 15 minutes later at his home late Wednesday and charged with making a false 911 call. Basso reportedly told officers that he didn’t think he would get in trouble for calling 911.

More on link

:

 

[CougarKing]

We have another winner.  :


MSNBC link

RIVERTON, Wyo. - (...)

Riverton police say the 26-year-old ran out of the store after grabbing the bottle of booze and a package of cough drops Wednesday and hid in a nearby building, which happened to be the police station.

Police say the man then ran out of the police station, but not before a dispatcher had spied him on the station's surveillance camera and alerted officers.

(...)

 

[PMedMoe]

Here's a couple more:

Man stuffed 75 bottles of lotion in his pants

Police say mall security officers chased Guadarrama, but he had stuffed so many of the eight-ounce (225-gram) lotion containers in his pants that he could barely run. Police say he could not bend over to get in the police car until some of the bottles were removed.

and

Assault complaint leads to marijuana bust

MRC des Collines-de-l’Outaouais said they were called to 57 Tache Rd. in Cantley, Quebec because a 26-year-old man had allegedly been beaten by a 42-year-old man from Lac Simon. During their investigation police said they found over 300 mature plants and 600 in the cutting stage in the both the garage and basement.

:

 

[PMedMoe]

I like reading stories like this.  :nod:

Victim turned the tables, knifed robber

The court heard that Sheikdoon and a youth befriended students Marc Pinkerton and Peter Chen near the University of Ottawa campus on Sept. 20, 2007 with the promise of smoking a joint.

The foursome returned to the students’ apartment and played video games. But when Chen and the youth went to a bank machine, Sheikdoon pulled a knife and demanded Pinkerton pack up his valuables. When Chen and the youth returned, the youth also pulled a knife.

They demanded the students’ bank cards and PINs and split up, each taking one to an ATM.

On the way, Sheikdoon, who was highly intoxicated, gave Chen the knife and challenged him to “show me you’re a man — stab me.”

Chen ran with Sheikdoon giving chase. When Chen could run no further, he pulled out the knife and stabbed Sheikdoon in the torso.

Guess he showed him, huh?  :rofl:

 

[GAP]

March 25, 2010
Dumbest Criminals Ever?

Thieves call bank prior to robbery asking to have money ready

News Report