Warrant Officer DP1 Reaction
- Thread starter Tow Tripod
- Start date
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Awesome video ArmyRick!!!! :rofl:
Brilliant.
Brilliant.
- Reaction score
- 4,788
- Points
- 1,060
ArmyRick said:
You realize that sooner or later, the Base Give a Fuck Officer will track you down, right?
You'll be made to reproduce the video, politically correct, showing the disturbed side of the Recruit and how you got him there.
Let me know when you have to do it. I think I can help
OK, I'm lyin'.
Great job!
daftandbarmy
Army.ca Dinosaur
- Reaction score
- 26,358
- Points
- 1,160
ArmyRick said:
Hilarious. Thanks.
Now I have to get working on the redress for my JTF2 application.
- Reaction score
- 999
- Points
- 1,160
Excellent production. Sounds exactly what my son-in-law has gone through, including reduced PER score on posting to new position.
In light of:
This old joke.
Company Memo: Gala Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2011
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd , starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2011
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our " Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2011
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this, whoever?
*And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money, and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED!
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2011
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
*Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
*Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table...Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
*To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
*We will have booster seats for short people.
*Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet..
*I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
*There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2011
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your F*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you F*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *SS! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die!
The B*tchfrom H*ll!!!
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2011
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
In light of:
.
This old joke.
Company Memo: Gala Christmas Party
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2011
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd , starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We'll have a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone's pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2011
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we're calling it our " Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2011
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table...you didn't sign your name. I'm happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn't be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this, whoever?
*And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money, and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED!
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2011
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees' beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
*Meanwhile, I've arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
*Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table...Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the Gay men's table.
*To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
*We will have booster seats for short people.
*Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet..
*I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food . The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
*There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2011
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I've had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We're going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the “grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, and you'll get your F*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.
I'm hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you F*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *SS! I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die!
The B*tchfrom H*ll!!!
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2011
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I'll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
OldSolduer
Army.ca Relic
- Reaction score
- 12,335
- Points
- 1,140
jeffb said:
Nice accent....sir....
- Reaction score
- 12,963
- Points
- 1,010
Bwaahaahaa!
Now, I'm going to the mess to drink myself into a stupor.... ;D
Now, I'm going to the mess to drink myself into a stupor.... ;D
OldSolduer
Army.ca Relic
- Reaction score
- 12,335
- Points
- 1,140
I will watch this after the unit golf tourney, the PD session and four days leave. I will deal with this then......that was a good one. ;D
medicineman
Army.ca Legend
- Reaction score
- 3,718
- Points
- 1,110
I seem to recall having a very similar talk with the Ops WO in 2RCR one day...
I guess I should have chained him up, blinfolded him, kicked him in the junk and then dumped him off in Lawfield somewhere with five Gerry cans of water strapped to his back and told him to run home...
MM
I guess I should have chained him up, blinfolded him, kicked him in the junk and then dumped him off in Lawfield somewhere with five Gerry cans of water strapped to his back and told him to run home...
MM
daftandbarmy
Army.ca Dinosaur
- Reaction score
- 26,358
- Points
- 1,160
medicineman said:
Careful, there are some in the RCR who would pay extra for that experience.....as long as they could wear a high starched collar and pith helmet too ;D
medicineman
Army.ca Legend
- Reaction score
- 3,718
- Points
- 1,110
I think this one would have weasled his way out of any of that ;D
MM
MM
