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The 5 Most Exciting (And Gross) Realities Of Life In A Tank

dapaterson

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As reported by Albert, an ex-gunner and loader in the Canadian Armed Forces who spent some time blowing Taliban-shaped craters into the Afghanistan countryside from inside his Leopard tank.

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2358-farts-explosions-praying-my-life-as-tank-gunner.html
 

kungfupanda

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If I get hired I will have to keep an ample supply of vicks in my pocket I guess!
 

Lumber

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"Oh yeah, modern tanks can take a beating," Albert brags. "There are three types of kills on a tank. M kill, which is a mobility kill (the tank can't move, but it can shoot); firepower kill (so it can move but not shoot); and K kill (which means everyone is dead). Mobility kill isn't too hard to do, but the others are a lot harder. There isn't much the insurgents have that can do damage to us. An RPG is nothing. Old Russian anti-tank stuff would only work if it hits us just right. As for IEDs, they would have to be huge to do any real damage."

A lot of articles (mostly news) make RPGs sound really scary, even for tanks. Is this guy's opinion of them accurate? We're talking about RPG-7s here right?
 

Red 6

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http://www.janes.com/article/39550/iraqi-abrams-losses-revealed
 

Fishbone Jones

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cupper said:
Hell, that makes submariners sound civilized.  [:D
When the balloon goes up lots of people will be shitting their pants and you can't break contacť to change them. Kind of the same on a battle run, it doesn't stop  so you can change.
Getting rid of the evidence was easy.  If you tossed a casing out on the wrong bound, the german range staff will have it gone before the sun can glint off the brass. [:D
 

George Wallace

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???

I don't know.  I never noticed the smell inside the turret,....... until after I had had a shower.

I did once try to crawl through the Pistol Port when I did not turn on the broken Scavenger; but then become accustomed to the smell of Cordite in the Morning.

[:D
 

Red 6

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We lived in our tracks for about five months in 90-91 in the desert. One night in January of 91 we did a big rehearsal and the wind was blowing hard. I used to keep my map case bungie-corded on top of my turret with the red work lamp. I had this awesome pair of duck hunter gloves that I only wore at night because they were that old fashioned camouflage. 

We were driving along and I pulled my map case out (You armour guys know how big they are) and was in the process of refolding it when the wind gusted. My map blew out over the back of the track and I told my driver to stop. I jumped off the track and ran back, retrieved my map. To make a long story short, my map has landed in a pile of human crap and I got the stuff all in the seams of my gloves. I didn't realize until I handed the map down to my gunner to wipe off what I thought was mud. He went, "It smells like sh*t in here." That's when I realized. I ended up throwing the gloves away because I couldn't clean them.

It's a glamorous life is armour.
 

George Wallace

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Map case?

You make it so "2nd Lt" sounding.  Why would one need a map case when they have a "Map of the World" that would cover the side of a Queen Mary for the Damage Trace?    [:D





So wonder we even fit in our vehicles with the kit we carried.
 

Fishbone Jones

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Red 6 said:
We lived in our tracks for about five months in 90-91 in the desert. One night in January of 91 we did a big rehearsal and the wind was blowing hard. I used to keep my map case bungie-corded on top of my turret with the red work lamp. I had this awesome pair of duck hunter gloves that I only wore at night because they were that old fashioned camouflage. 

We were driving along and I pulled my map case out (You armour guys know how big they are) and was in the process of refolding it when the wind gusted. My map blew out over the back of the track and I told my driver to stop. I jumped off the track and ran back, retrieved my map. To make a long story short, my map has landed in a pile of human crap and I got the stuff all in the seams of my gloves. I didn't realize until I handed the map down to my gunner to wipe off what I thought was mud. He went, "It smells like sh*t in here." That's when I realized. I ended up throwing the gloves away because I couldn't clean them.

It's a glamorous life is armour.
George Wallace said:
Map case?

You make it so "2nd Lt" sounding.  Why would one need a map case when they have a "Map of the World" that would cover the side of a Queen Mary for the Damage Trace?    [:D





So wonder we even fit in our vehicles with the kit we carried.

Reforger 74, the trace was so long we carried the maps in an old style barracks box.

(Yes, I just realized what I did) ::)
 

George Wallace

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recceguy said:
Reforger 74, the trace was so long we carried the maps in an old style barracks box.

(Yes, I just realized what I did) ::)

Yes.  I have some that would serve as a table cloth for a Mess Dinner.  [:D
 

The Bread Guy

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An interesting window being opened into life in a tank/AFV (with some things imagined I can't unimagine - I'm looking at you RG  ;D) - thanks for sharing, all!
 

SeaKingTacco

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Coffee_psych said:
I like the stories, tanks, I'm curious what all these different maps are.  [lol:

The maps are for not getting lost. Or to avoid wandering into the enemy, before we are ready to lay waste to him/her.

In the pre-GPS age, it did not take much distance over the battlefield or training area before you had to keep a metric boatload of 1:50000 scale maps along with you to keep track of the situation.

Even today, I much prefer a paper map to electronic. I am old.
 

Lightguns

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SeaKingTacco said:
The maps are for not getting lost. Or to avoid wandering into the enemy, before we are ready to lay waste to him/her.

In the pre-GPS age, it did not take much distance over the battlefield or training area before you had to keep a metric boatload of 1:50000 scale maps along with you to keep track of the situation.

Even today, I much prefer a paper map to electronic. I am old.

I teach civie hunters and fishers GPS usage, first thing I teach 'em is how to use map and compass, followed by how to set your GPS to MGRS to make it useful with your map.  Electronics fail, skill never falters once learned. 
 
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dapaterson said:
As reported by Albert, an ex-gunner and loader in the Canadian Armed Forces who spent some time blowing Taliban-shaped craters into the Afghanistan countryside from inside his Leopard tank.

http://www.cracked.com/personal-experiences-2358-farts-explosions-praying-my-life-as-tank-gunner.html


I was wondering if this stuff is true? I am interested in a few different trades (hence my name), and am trying to gather information on them. I want the honest truth, is life in a tank really like this? If it isn’t why would he say it was like this? Wouldn’t that turn away possible recruits?

Thank you
 
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