- Reaction score
There is a difference between people having coercive, harmful relationships and everyone knowing about it and doing nothing, and others who are unfaithful to their partners.
Unless the partner's - and if applicable the family's - well-being is excluded from the calculation, such relationships always have the potential to be harmful (and, human emotions being what they are, in most cases will be).
Strain due to an infidelity which meets none of the objective no-go criteria can still cause harm. I can make up worst-case scenarios, too. Capt X is seeing Capt Y's spouse, and Capt Y knows and is not happy about it. Capt Y deploys. Because of the problem at home, Capt Y is inattentive at a critical time and people die. If beforehand all the CoC had was rumour and Capt Y strongly desired the employment/opportunity for career advancement, what could have been the grounds for denying it to Capt Y?
I understand the privacy issue and am sympathetic. Deterrents and enforcement must be strong if invasion of privacy is out of bounds. Enforcers may not turn a blind eye even to unofficial or non-actionable information. Once a possible issue is raised, it must be settled.