Relationships

[Springroll]

thank you everyone for your honesty. i do have alot to think about. my boyfriend was home on leave last month, and i had actually worked up the courage to have an open discussion about where the relationship was headed, and if we both wanted the same things. his response, even now, is oh when i come home i'm going to get you a ring and blah blah blah, everything's great, i love you so much yadda yadda yadda. well we'll see wont we. i'm not putting my life on hold for anyone.
this isnt even about the military, this is about the man trying to hide behind his job.

I am so sorry to say this to you hun, but ditch the bugger! You do not deserve the abuse he is giving you, and yes it is abuse.
If you want to meet a nice guy, let me know..I'll hook you up with a guy who will be as committed to you as you are to him.

I'm with bomber o this one "Drop it like it's hot", or in this case, drop him like he's hot!!  :-*

 

[NicoleB]

so here's a little update on my soap opera. it went kind of like this...

him: " hello, i just wanted to tell you i love you"
me: " aww thats sweet of you"
him: "I'm really drunk right now"
me: " i need to have a serious talk wit you.."
him: "this conversation isnt making me happy"
me: "ummm k."
him: "im probably not going to remember this in the morning. but I LOVE YOU"

lol. i mean i appreciate the sentiment and all, and at least i can still poke fun at the situation.
and i've discovered a new way to seek revenge in a not so healthy way. he "forgets" to call, i "forget" to pay his bills. maybe he'll get the hint.
or maybe i'm just a glutton for punishment.
and honey if you read this " I LOVE YOU TOO" ;D

oh yah i forgot to mention that our serious talk has yet to happen

 

[Mappy]

Thats funny.....yay for drunken phone calls.  It seems that he is used to you always being there and thinks that you will never leave so perhaps a serious discussion might help.

On my situation, someone at home forgot to pay my bf's cell phone bill, so its been disconnected.  We have been communicating mostly by text msging, so now that his cell is disconnected I have basically zero contact with him.  Also, as of Sunday I have no idea where he is (as his BOTC course is over) which equals fun fun FUN!  He could come home, he might stay at St. Jean or he might go elsewhere, I dont know.  Yay for fustration!

 

[paracowboy]

so here's a little update on my soap opera. it went kind of like this...

i mean i appreciate the sentiment and all, and at least i can still poke fun at the situation.
and i've discovered a new way to seek revenge in a not so healthy way. he "forgets" to call, i "forget" to pay his bills. maybe he'll get the hint.
or maybe i'm just a glutton for punishment.
and honey if you read this " I LOVE YOU TOO"

oh yah i forgot to mention that our serious talk has yet to happen

awright, this is gonna be my last post on this thread: He's an assmunch taking advantage of you. You're a dumbass for taking it. This game-playing crap you're talking about is not how adults solve problems. This ain't junior high, and he ain't at the prom with Suzy Crotchrot. So, either you sort yourself out, then sort his sorry ass out, and get your shit back on track, or pull and punch. Don't whine and make a suck face, then go runnin' around for attention, cowboy up and do it.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled snivel-fest.

Hope everything works out.

 

[Sh0rtbUs]

awright, this is gonna be my last post on this thread: He's an assmunch taking advantage of you. You're a dumbass for taking it. This game-playing crap you're talking about is not how adults solve problems. This ain't junior high, and he ain't at the prom with Suzy Crotchrot. So, either you sort yourself out, then sort his sorry *** out, and get your crap back on track, or pull and punch. Don't whine and make a suck face, then go runnin' around for attention, cowboy up and do it.
We now return you to your regularly scheduled snivel-fest.

Hope everything works out.

AMEN

 

[Hunter]

on an exercise in March one of the other medics brought a book with her, called 'He's Just Not that Into You'.  It was pretty funny to read, but at the same time it contained some important truths that eery woman should know.

If he was into you, he might not call you every day but he definitely wouldn't shut his phone off for extended periods of time. 

Get rid of him.  And as a parting gift send him a fuzzy wig, red nose, and oversized shoes because he's nothing but a clown.

 

[NicoleB]

you know what? i took the advice of some of the other previous posts, and got my shit together. and i think its all worked out for the best. Thank you to everyone for even bothering to respond.

 

[Fishbone Jones]

you know what? i took the advice of some of the other previous posts, and got my shit together. and i think its all worked out for the best. Thank you to everyone for even bothering to respond.

Hah!!! Who says we're nothing but a bunch of bloodthirsty killers with no redeeming qualities ;D

Another satisfied customer.

Nicole,

If you wish this thread reopened, PM me.

 

[Devi]

Hey everyone, i just registered however i've been reading the forums for some time now.

I will be applying for the reserves soon (maybe reg force in the future - i'm in uni now), but like many people i have some questions. I could not find a direct answer using the search option so i'll make a new topic.

This question probably applies more to the reg force than the reserves. Anyways, could members of the CF (especially men) please tell me (22 yr old male) how you people hold on to your relationships? How can u possibly go on for weeks maybe even months without seeing your girlfriend/wife/kids? Personally i'm afraid that i might go crazy without seeing my g/f for so long? I hope this next question doesn't sound bad but ... how can you be away from your loved one and the intimacy that comes along? ..... HOw do do cope with not getting laid for a long time? I'm not a pervert ... it's just a human feeling that everyone gets.

I know one of your answers will be don't join if this concerns you. But i just simply want to know what u guys think!

I understand that the army is not for everyone, but please tell me how you cope with all this????? ???

thanks

 

[kincanucks]

This has been beaten to death before.  Head over to the Home Front for your relationship guidance.

http://forums.army.ca/forums/index.php/board,49

 

[Franko]

I call my field wife "Lefty" and sometimes I dress her up in a mini skirt    ;D

But in all seriousness....it's not that bad. You get used to it..... and the times you are apart...the reunion is even better.

 

[Armymedic]

This has been beaten to death before. 

But it feels so good.  ;D

 

[Thompson_JM]

I call my field wife "Lefty" and sometimes I dress her up in a mini skirt     ;D

Ever spice things up with the Field Mistress? AKA "righty"?

I prefer a little makeup and some perfume myself... really sets the mood while basking in the glow of the Blackout lights

too far?

well I am a trucker... Strange Breed is but one of the many labels WE wear....

 

[theseeker]

Ever spice things up with the Field Mistress? AKA "righty"?

I prefer a little makeup and some perfume myself... really sets the mood while basking in the glow of the Blackout lights

too far?

well I am a trucker... Strange Breed is but one of the many labels WE wear....

or even try alittle 3 way some times i hear the palmala twins will do it......

 

[NavyGirl280]

Okay so I know you wanted a guys opinion ... well growing up I was a tomboy and heres the opinion just the same:

I have been with my husband for a few years now and only married 6 months. When he sails, there is a sense that something in our home is missing for the 1st few days and even though it gets easier to deal with, the house is never quite the same.

I have applied for the reserves myself. And I have thought about the same things you have. I have thought about missing my husband, my children and the intimacy. I can tell you now being away from them will be the hardest but you are also going out there with a job to do and it will keep your mind semi-occupied. You will have the support of the troops and home is never really that far away. With the reserves, you wont be gone nearly as much as if you go with reg force. Training consists of a few weekends here and there and one evening per week, that depending on the area you are in. I believe most are a Thursday evening, but dont quote me. You will go away for a few weeks at a time to do your SQ and other courses but nothing as long (usually) if youre reg force and need to go to St.Jean for a few months. Opportunities will come up for you to take jobs here and there but nothing is set in stone with the reserves that you need to take it. Just know that the longer it takes for you to get your courses, the longer you arent as "employable" to them.

I honestly think (and I dont think Im alone when saying this) the military is something that you either love or hate. Take it day by day and remember if you do decide the CF, you can always get out. (Reserves a bit easier than reg force) 

Take care (from a fellow tomboy LOL)

S.Bradbury    

 

[Shadow Cat]

For myself and my husband during the training that he did last year.  We made sure that we saw each other at least every six weeks.  During his BMQ I went up at the half way point for the weekend and went up for his grad in June.  Than he came home for two weeks in August.  The next time that I saw him was for a week in October and than we were finally reunited as a family in November.

It is not easy at first but for me at least I was getting used to him not being around that I was to depressed to even think of intimacy unless I was happily in his arms.  I think that it might be different for the guys though.

If your relationship is strong than you will both make it through the training successfully. 

 

[Springroll]

How you people hold on to your relationships?
Well, for my husband and I, our relationship is built on trust and communication. By keeping those connections good, the rest of it seems to fall into place.

How can u possibly go on for weeks maybe even months without seeing your girlfriend/wife/kids?
The job requires it, that is how you are able to do it.

How can you be away from your loved one and the intimacy that comes along?
We keep in contact via email and phone calls. Some of those emails can be just as good as having hubby here with me.
We also write short stories to each other to try and keep the spark alive

How do do cope with not getting laid for a long time?
Well, that is part of the benefit of sending the short stories....

 

[Devi]

thanks everyone for your input!!! 

How do do cope with not getting laid for a long time?
Well, that is part of the benefit of sending the short stories....

hmmm, i get it. 
But i dont like it!

thanks again!!!!

 

[R.Jacquel]

Ok, I probably could have asked this at the recruiting center but didn't want to seem foolish or weird asking. I want to join the reserves very badly to for two reason's to speed up my Police career and to prove to myself that I can do it. Though I have this girlfriend that I have had for 3 years and she just keeps saying "your going to lose your legs", "your going to go over seas and die"

How can I show her that this isn't how it is and that things aren't like the war in Iraq. She also believes that I will be forced over seas and no matter what I will die over there. What are all the pluses to the lifestyle as well as the minuses. And for all the guys who have wives and girlfriends, what have you done to calm them down and help them cope with a job that could possibly kill me.

Thanks again
Ryan

 

[Elisha]

There are a few threads on this type of topic already.  Take a look at "The Home Front".  There are a few topics in there that might further your search some more.


It is a different lifestyle...takes a special individual to handle the tours...being away...I guess the lifestyle in general.  There are a ton of support networks from online to right in the community for military spouses (or significant others)

Good luck with the search and the possible career!


Elisha