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Moving Spouse after BMQ - Kingston Thread

Hey PuckChaser,

Thank you, if you memory serves me correctly then POET is 32 weeks and 20 weeks for trade specific training. We live in PEI so I won't be coming home on the weekends I don't believe? Do you get to go home between courses, like bmq -> poet -> course specific training? I have to figure out how I am going to explain this to the wife. She was fine with 14 weeks for BMQ but she is going be very surprised when I say something about an extra 52 weeks of training. :)

Thank you,
 
There should be some leave inbetween your courses, depending on how long you have to wait. You get 20 annual days a year, but you can't take them while you're on course (save Christmas leave). Its a tough situation, but unfortunately its something everyone in the CF had to deal with. You're just unlucky that your training is a lot longer than most.
 
If it comes to pass that you are separated for this period of time rest assured that it will pass amazingly fast especially with modern means of communication.
 
Thank you all.. I think my wife is going to move to Kingston to be a student at Queens University so that should keep her busy. :)
 
There are a few things that need to be considered here:

1)  I know you didn't ask this question, but it needs to be emphasized.  Don't even think about moving while you're on BMQ.    You won't have time to see your wife and it will only cost you money.

2)  Once you're in Kingston, you can ask to have your wife moved.  All they can do is say no.  The actual answer will depend on your individual circumstances and your school's policies.

3)  If the answer is no and your wife still wants to move, there is NOTHING the CF can do to stop her (she is, after all, a civilian and not subject to CF rules or regulations).  However, beware that the CF has absolutely no obligation whatsoever to support you in this.  Do not take this decision lightly and keep in mind that it could cost you money that will not be reimbursed.  If your wife does join you in Kingston and you are then attach-posted (all the negative effects of a posting with none of the benefits) or sent on temporary duty, what will you do then?  Will she be happy to be stuck in Kingston for the duration of your attach-posting or temporary duty or will she pack up and move again (again on yours/her dime)?  This is a question only you and she can answer.

The bottom line is that the CF can do nothing to stop your wife from moving close to wherever you are.  However, the CF is under no obligation to support your decision either.  If things go south and you end up bankrupt as a result of what you did without permission, your complaints may well fall on deaf ears.

Ask questions.  Make sure you ask the right questions.  Make sure you understand what you are asking.  Make sure you understand the answer you receive and make sure that the answer you receive actually answers the question you asked.  This all may seem obvious, but I have seen many situations where a member has asked a loaded question in order to get the answer they wanted, but was later caught out because although the answer they received was correct for the scenario they had described, the scenario they described was not what actually played out.
 
Hey Pusser,

Thank you very much. I will certainly be giving this a lot of thought.

Thank you,
 
I did my training in the reserves, so I'm not entirely sure, but wouldn't moving his wife away from his place of enrollment really mess up the movement of his F&E once he gets his QL3 training? The CF would be expecting to move it all from PEI, only to find you no longer have a residence there.
 
PuckChaser said:
I did my training in the reserves, so I'm not entirely sure, but wouldn't moving his wife away from his place of enrollment really mess up the movement of his F&E once he gets his QL3 training? The CF would be expecting to move it all from PEI, only to find you no longer have a residence there.

It most certainly can screw things up.  This is why he needs to ask questions and get answers.  As long as they're willing to accept the consequences of their decisions, they should be OK.
 
I signed on as LCIS, got a POET bypass, so I could have gone on to my QL3 in Kingston right away. Then ACISS happened which had many army sigs guys stuck in Kingston with no answers as to what our courses were and when they were going to start,etc...

I was told I may not start course for a year. I owned a home, so they would definetly NOT move my family to Kingston. Very frustrating to not know what is happening with you and just sitting on PAT forever. I was unable to go home to see my wife and kids as it was too far away and I didn't have a second car.  So I was unable to see my family except for mostly holidays for almost 1.5 years while not having Internet for alot of that time....I was finally able to do my DP1.0 (3 months) and get posted and move my family to my posting.

Main point of the story is.... until you are QL3 qualified and posted, the CF ain't gonna cover you for jack. Moving your wife somewhere will you are training can cause problems as well.

You may just have to stick it out like myself and others had to. I know its not the same as what the recruiters "may" have told you.... (i was told they would move my family to kingston) all i can say is get used to it. I've had more than a few things not happen that I were supposed to....

How the heck did you get ATIS? I know myself and others that wanted it and were told it was not available...

Good luck...
 
Hey Daywalker,

Thanks for the warning. It wasn't my first pick but they wanted me to go ATIS. I was in the process of taking electronics engineering with a focus on communications and I worked in IT for 15+ years. I think I was only merit listed for a few days before I got two offers for ATIS (one PLAR and one not). 

Thank you,
 
Daywalker said:
How the heck did you get ATIS? I know myself and others that wanted it and were told it was not available...

Different numbers for recruiting into trades vice internal recruitment (as well as OUTCAP on your trade), or did you originally want to join up as ATIS?
 
Yah, I originally wanted to join up as ATIS, but was told it wasn't open, which is why I had to go with LCIS.

Here's to hoping for ATIS or AVS in the future...
 
zander1976 said:
Hey Daywalker,

Thanks for the warning. It wasn't my first pick but they wanted me to go ATIS. I was in the process of taking electronics engineering with a focus on communications and I worked in IT for 15+ years. I think I was only merit listed for a few days before I got two offers for ATIS (one PLAR and one not). 

Thank you,

Keep in mind every situation is different and things have changed a lot, but a close friend went thru as ATIS and was able to move his family up to K-town and into a PMQ once he got to CFSCE.  Not saying that means you will but just saying it has happened in the past.

If the School still allows it, you will be able to request permission once you are on the ground.  But, I've learned "hope for the best, prepare for the worst" with military life, particularly while in the trg system before your first posting.

Good luck.
 
Correct me if I am wrong, but is the reason why the school (CFSCE) may NOT move your family because the cost comes out of their own budget and they don't want to spend money on someone who may not even pass their course,etc.. ? I know when you own a home they definetly won't because that is a big cost.

I guess the schools aren't used to having older guys like me go through who have a mortgage and a family... it was REALLY frustrating seeing the younger guys (who didn't own a home) get their families moved to Kingston, and all you could do is sit there and be pissed...

It NEVER hurts to ask and try... but yah, I tend to expect the worst as well...
 
The decision is to move or not to move a family.  The cost is not part of the decision.  We do not move the small family of one member because they live in an apartment and then refuse to move another member with the same career status because he has six kids and house in Victoria.  It's also not up to the unit to determine this.  Cost moves don't come out of unit budgets (local moves, which are a different kettle of fish, do come out of unit budgets, but that's not what we're talking about here). 
 
I've looked on the forums but can only find bits and pieces of info pertaining to my questions, and most is dated a few years back. So I am hoping I can find a few answers here.

My husband is currently at BMQ. He started in October of last year, but had to do a couple extra months in warrior, which extended his time that he now has to be away. During that time, I developed some serious medical problems. He almost came home, but I told him to stay because I didn't want him to lose this amazing opportunity that he has worked so hard to get. He's finally back on platoon now and will be graduating April 10th (as long as everything for him goes all right, knock on wood!). But unfortunately my medical issues have become worse. His trade is ACISS, and he's been trying to get information on what's next after BMQ. He's found different things, and so far at this time he believes he will be going to either Kingston or Aldershot. He'd prefer Aldershot because then he's only about an hour away from where we live, but we'd much rather be able to live under the same roof so that he can provide the assistance I need.

My big question, is if I will be able to move with him after he finishes BMQ, or how long will we have to wait before we are able to live together again. Currently I live on my own with no family help, which has become difficult what with my medical problems. I try not to stress him out whenever he is able to call, because I know he needs to focus on his training and worrying about me won't help, but he knows I'm lying when I say "Everything's fine, tests came back fine and doctors say I'm doing great." I don't want to be the cause of his worry and stress. Will he be able to put a special request considering the circumstances, to have me moved up? Or will we have to remain apart for another year or so until he's completely done training?

I know this is the life I've accepted, and that during his career we will have many long periods of separation, but the unforeseen addition of my medical issues does make things more difficult. Any information would be greatly appreciated.
 
Short answer, NO, you won't be able to move with him after BMQ.  You will only be able to relocate once he has completed all of his required training, which will probably be the SQ and ACCIS trg which will be in Kingston.  SQ is conducted at various locations.

He can put in a special request, but whether or not that would be entertained is another question.
 
MrsMurray said:
I've looked on the forums but can only find bits and pieces of info pertaining to my questions, and most is dated a few years back. So I am hoping I can find a few answers here.

My husband is currently at BMQ. He started in October of last year, but had to do a couple extra months in warrior, which extended his time that he now has to be away. During that time, I developed some serious medical problems. He almost came home, but I told him to stay because I didn't want him to lose this amazing opportunity that he has worked so hard to get. He's finally back on platoon now and will be graduating April 10th (as long as everything for him goes all right, knock on wood!). But unfortunately my medical issues have become worse. His trade is ACISS, and he's been trying to get information on what's next after BMQ. He's found different things, and so far at this time he believes he will be going to either Kingston or Aldershot. He'd prefer Aldershot because then he's only about an hour away from where we live, but we'd much rather be able to live under the same roof so that he can provide the assistance I need.

My big question, is if I will be able to move with him after he finishes BMQ, or how long will we have to wait before we are able to live together again. Currently I live on my own with no family help, which has become difficult what with my medical problems. I try not to stress him out whenever he is able to call, because I know he needs to focus on his training and worrying about me won't help, but he knows I'm lying when I say "Everything's fine, tests came back fine and doctors say I'm doing great." I don't want to be the cause of his worry and stress. Will he be able to put a special request considering the circumstances, to have me moved up? Or will we have to remain apart for another year or so until he's completely done training?

I know this is the life I've accepted, and that during his career we will have many long periods of separation, but the unforeseen addition of my medical issues does make things more difficult. Any information would be greatly appreciated.

I'll echo the "Short answer - NO" sentiment, but I'll add a longer explanation, and a couple of options, having had something along the same lines as both your situation and the Original poster's question.

It took me around 9 months to complete BMQ.  Between being out of shape when I got there (I'm not proud of it, but it is what it is and I'm trying), condemned to WFT for what seemed like eternity, injured on my second platoon only to end up in WFT again, and finally graduating at the 9 month mark.  My first son was born the 2nd week into BMQ.  Math is fun here...

After BMQ, I was sent to CFNES in Halifax for my QL3 course.  It took a little under a year for this course to be completed, what with 2 semesters academics and one semester of applications (hands-on the gear), it ended up being in the ball park of 10 months or so, leave blocks included.

During the time on my 3s, I put in a memo to have my posting status changed from "PROHIBITED" (meaning I couldn't move my family) to "RESTRICTED" (which meant the CF could assist me with a cost move, but I wouldn't be getting my cost move through Brookfield, where all the benefits are).  I used the extra time away from my wife, and the fact that I hadn't seen my son for more than 30 days of his natural life since he was born. After discussions with my wife over the pros and cons of the Military's cost move vs. the Brookfield cost move, we decided that the benefits of the Brookfield move were better for us, and I got internet, and Skype home like every night.  (My wife says it was kinda cute watching her 30-something husband do his homework on the computer while his toddler son was playing peekaboo with daddy on the monitor...  I thought it was better than nothing)

Anyways, at the risk of dragging this out...  A friend of mine, who was at BMQ with me, had somewhat of a similar scenario.  However, he was unable to allow the conditions at which his family were living in back home to continue, and in order to ease his state of mind, and to ensure that his mind was on his studies and not worrying about the safety and welfare of his family, he was permitted to relocate his family.  I believe there might have been a few stipulations to his agreement, but I am unaware as to what they are at the moment.

I know, benefit-wise, that we are told that when we come out of BMQ and on to our 3s, we are to live in barracks (although, in some cases guys/gals get apartments off-base), we are unable to acquire PMQs (and the wait is horrendous for some of them), and I don't think we are allowed to claim PLD unless we were already living in that area (IE: guy goes to BMQ, leaves family in Halifax, gets posted to CFNES on 3s course, and lives with family, etc...)

The rub of this novella, is that this is within the Navy trades.  So me getting posted to CFNES in Halifax, and then getting posted to a ship in Halifax, it was a pretty safe bet that I'd be staying here.  Now, if I had moved my family out here while on course, and they sent me to the west coast, I'd be up pooper creek without a paddle.

The best advice has pretty much been given on the subject here, and that is for your spouse to ask every question he/she can think of with regards to what he/she is entitled to, or what constitutes any compassionate moves.  If there is a serious medical consideration, he can bring that up to his CoC, and they might be able to assist you.  They're not always scary and intimidating as usually portrayed.  In fact, every CoC I've had has gone out of their way to ensure that even if we are being "belt-fed" (well, you know), that at least they'll try to do what they can to make it less crappy.

Good luck.

Rev
 
Hi, I am currently waiting for my interview and have applied to be a steward. I have a few questions:

Is it possible to live on base while my husband lives in another province? Would they let me return home maybe once a month or every few months. If I was deployed would they give me leave to go home when I returned to base. I have a wedding in June would they give me time off if I was finished my training?
My husband has a career that is very specialized and would not be able to move for a few years. Does the forces try and help make that work if you live away from your husband? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks!!!

Laura
 
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