Members' Marital Status

[CdnArtyWife]

Kara, good on you...and the M777 is pretty new kit too! 

Years ago, my wife helped me study when I was going through basic helo school...I dare say she knows as much of the technical info on the Bell Jet Ranger as a lot of pilots do.  Funny story, she used to do modelling and was at a clients, waiting for a shoot to start...there were some engineers from Detroit-Diesel Allison in the waiting room getting print work set up at the agency.  My wife looked at one of the fellow's briefcases and pointed to the DD-Allison sticker and said, "Oh that's my name!"  The fellow looked at her with a sort-of "yes, yes, that's nice, missy" look and said, "Ah yes, we make engines...it's pretty technical stuff."  Allison replied, "Oh, you mean like the 'Allison' T-63-750B turboshaft engine, that makes 217 shaft-horsepower at 6,700 rpm on the power turbine?" and blinked innocently...   The guy just replied, "uh, yeah...something like that..."   

Sig-Des, no worries with me that any decision we made would be one half driving the other to do something else...my wife was in the middle of a Masters Degree in geo info systems and wasn't able to complete it due to moving around, that and trying to re-establish a career everywhere we were posted.  Any decision in the future would be a "joint operation"

Cheers,
Duey

LOL indeed. Been there done that...

Coincidently I have been asked, through the chain of command, to "tone it down while in mixed company" as apparently I intimidate the other wives...LOL oops! Oh well.  :-* I'll talk the shop with the guys...and when in a mixed company situation, I tend to hang in the kitchen or on the deck, beer in hand, with the guys...cus I don't feel comfy in the "stitch and b!tch" setting. I guess I am just an anomaly that will take getting used to. >

 

[muffin]

As far as I know I am Happily Married ... if not, I haven't received the memo yet

My dad was in the military - so I think in a way that helped prepare me for the life I have now as a military spouce. I also served 4 years, so I can understand that there are some things he can't talk to me about and there are some days that he just needs to "do his thing". It is also nice because I have some clue what he is talking about Working for DND lets me keep up-to-date on my accronyms! lol

I learned a great deal from my mom for sure. (Mom and Dad still happily married for 30 years last Aug!)

As an military "brat" growing up and during my time in - there were many unfortunate stories of couples splitting up. There is no doubt that the "9er-Domestic home party" role is a tough one, and the battle is different for everyone. I try not to worry about things to much when Jeff is away...  if something is going to happen to him, my worrying isn't going to stop it. Likewise for worries about him "acting up" when away from home I try to make sure we are realistically prepared for anything that could happen (finacially etc) and try to look at the postives (though they are sometimes hard to find). The extra $$ is always nice - though most people would say they'd rather have their spouce home than extra cash.

I always laugh when I hear people in the "civi" world say they wish they could get a break from thier "other half" - and I say - be careful what you wish for! In all seriousness though, our relationship is (I believe) that much stronger each time he comes home.

Because I work for DND as a civi, if Jeff gets posted - I become a priority for other DND jobs at my classification wherever he is posted. That helps alleviate some of the stress with possible postings. It isn't a guarantee - but it is nice to have for sure.

All in all - I would have to say there is no life like it, and I wouldn't trade it for the world .... but then again I am 27 years old and have only been married for 8 years.... see me again in 20 and I we will see if I feel the same

muffin

 

[Journeyman]

Quite happily divorced, thank you. Four days before heading out to Bosnia, half way through my embarkation leave, she says "we're getting dovorced; have a nice tour. Will you drive me to the airport, I met some guy on the internet."    Didn't see THAT coming, but my life started turning to gold at that point.

I'm currently living with a military woman (kinda military, she's Navy ), who is separated from her military husband. We've been together for just over 2 years now, and my life rocks! Since their divorce isn't finalized yet, I also get perverse pleasure from referring to "my girlfriend and her husband"   

 

[DEDOOLEY]

[quote CdnArtyWife]

...I am the only wife I know, besides the service couples, that can identify an M777 and state the range when asked. I choose not to be a wife who only knows her hubby wears green...though I fully understand that what works for some, does not work for others...some people feel ignorance is bliss. ..

[/quote]

The M777 is a field gun; I thought your husband was AD? Since he is not field artillery, why would you feel knowing about field guns makes you more supportive than other wives?  I know plenty of wives that know all about their husband's careers perhaps they just do not talk about it as much. Also, knowing the range and other specs of the guns does not make you a better military wife. If wives decide to leave their husbands' career to them and fulfill their own careers, I hardly see that as them showing ignorance.

 

[Journeyman]

...does not make you a better military wife.

Whoa....it's not a Best Wife competition. You may have just lost points in the Miss Congeniality catagory, by the way 

Welcome to the site. Please feel free to contribute informed commentary to the threads.

 

[Sh0rtbUs]

Whoa....it's not a Best Wife competition. You may have just lost points in the Miss Congeniality catagory, by the way 

Although, that WOULD be terribly interesting to watch from afar. 

 

[c1984ml]

A number three here as well.   I am a bit of a history/Canadiana buff and as such I was/am aware of what the military does.  However, the only first hand knowledge I had before my DH joined was based on some encounters with a few strange cadets during highschool and grandparents who had served during WWII.

My husband and I met and married during University over 20 years ago.   He joined as soon as he finished his degree and our first posting was far away from home to Shilo.  I really didn't know what to expect but I don't think anything I could have imagined would have come close to the experience I had those couple of years in the middle of the prairies.  I loved that first posting; the people we met were amazing and I loved being a small part of the military world.

I know what my DH does, I understand in a rudimentary way how his world works and I can follow a conversation when the talk turns to things military.  I have also tried to make sure I have not been lost in the mix of military and family (we have three kids).  I have continued to develop my interests and maintained friendships outside of the military as well as within.  

I must admit, my DH is one of the great ones (don't tell him I said so   ) and knows when family has to come first.  He has done well for himself so far but I have never once felt that he has done so while sacrificing the needs of our family.  Of course, I also understand when the military has to come first and I know the difference between my DH choosing not to be here and the military choosing for him.

I don't wear rose coloured glasses; neither my DH nor I am perfect, we have certainly had some tough times as I believe any marriage does whether it be a "military" or "civi" one.  I don't believe the military life style is for everyone but I am not convinced it can always be blamed when a marriage/relationship fails.   I can't once recall any of our problems being a fault of the military - they were our issues and I am 100% certain they would have occurred whether he was in the military or not.  Of course that is my marriage; I know I don't speak for anyone else.

Interesting topic and I have enjoyed the responses thus far.

 

[CdnArtyWife]

The M777 is a field gun; I thought your husband was AD? Since he is not field artillery, why would you feel knowing about field guns makes you more supportive than other wives?  I know plenty of wives that know all about their husband's careers perhaps they just do not talk about it as much. Also, knowing the range and other specs of the guns does not make you a better military wife. If wives decide to leave their husbands' career to them and fulfill their own careers, I hardly see that as them showing ignorance.

Firstly, yes, my hubby is AD...but he was trained field as well.

Secondly, I was using the M777 as an example...as that was something that happened in recent history...I won't get into the details of the situation, suffice it to say, my hubby was asked a question regarding the range and I was able to answer the question in his absence.

Thirdly, I did not say, nor did I mean to imply that my knowing the particular specs of kit that is integral within the CF was in anyway in direct correlation with my support for my husband. IMHO, he feels he can explain a situation to me, without having to dumb it down for me, or having me interupt with inane questions, this makes it easier for him. But that is how it works in our family...everyone's experience is different.

Long before my husband joined we had set up a routine where we shared with eachother the ins and outs of our day, we still do that. Therefore I feel involved.

Other wives have what works for them...a good friend of mine, for example, who's husband works hand in hand with mine, has nary a clue as to what he does for a living, her typical response is "he wears green". That does not make them any less happy, nor does it mean their marriage will not last...as I believe it will.

I prefer to be fully informed, I don't like it when Jane/Joe Civvy asks me what my husband does and I don't know enough to make it simply understood for them. My friend can't articulate the difference between Air Force and Air Defence when needed...you and I both know that the two are vastly different...I like to be able to explain the difference...that does not neccessarily equate to "nicey wifey" I know...it is just the way I work.

 

[GO!!!]

I am personnally of the opinion that the army has saved as many marriages as it has broken. We all need vacations, from work, spouses, etc. I find a few weeks/months here or there helps me to appreciate what I am missing a little more.

I find that the CF breaks weak relationships sooner than other jobs, for a variety of reasons, and the excuse "He was gone all of the time" just does'nt cut it.

 

[bbereziuk]

I certainly hope the senior member is wrong... His spouse styles really limit the population...  :-X

 

[DEDOOLEY]

[quote Journeyman]
Whoa....it's not a Best Wife competition. You may have just lost points in the Miss Congeniality catagory, by the way 

[/quote]

> > >

 

[Armymedic]

My wife has been a DND civilian employee in Petawawa for the last 6 yrs. She interacts daily with military mbrs of all ranks and professions. She knows in general what I do, but I don't tell her about my daily tasks or what I did any day while overseas. But she takes great pride in hearing how well I do my job from our supervisors, coworkers and customers, as I do from hers.

As CdnArtyWife eludes to, its whatever works for that couple.

 

[Angie77]

Anyone from B.C?  ;D

 

[camochick]

I think its great that artywife knows her husbands job. Like she said, if thats what helps her, then thats what helps her. When people ask what my husband does, i just say he is a trained killer. That usually makes them get that weird look on their face and they dont really know what to say. It gets me out of talking to nosy strangers hehe.  >

 

[CdnArtyWife]

I think its great that artywife knows her husbands job. Like she said, if thats what helps her, then thats what helps her. When people ask what my husband does, i just say he is a trained killer. That usually makes them get that weird look on their face and they dont really know what to say. It gets me out of talking to nosy strangers hehe.  >

haha A, it is good to see you still know how to mess with people's heads... :evil: :cheers:

 

[GO!!!]

Just say "he's a technician."

If they push, he makes widows, orphans and amputees, and is a death tech  > > >

 

[Haggis]

CdnArtyWife:

I posted this story in a thread on Veterans last fall.
It seems appropriate here:

After my last tour, my wife introduced me to a group of ladies.  As the conversation progressed totheir hubby's jobs, she told them what I do and proudly said "My husband is a vet."  One lady replied "Oh, your husband is a vet!  He should meet mine.  He's a breeder."

I can tell you from first hand experience that snorting white wine our your nose does burn.

 

[CdnArtyWife]

That is too funny...especially the white wine bit.

Thanks for the laugh...it was definitely appreciated.

Kara

 

[Journeyman]

"Oh, your husband is a vet!  He should meet mine.  He's a breeder."
I can tell you from first hand experience that snorting white wine our your nose does burn.

{pondering....} So, after several deployments, I'm a 'vet'; I have a couple of sons, so I'm a 'breeder'; but I've been to the vets to be fixed, so I'm no longer a breeder.....  :-\ damn, these labels get confusing.

I won't comment on an infantryman drinking white wine; of course, I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain either  ;D

 

[Haggis]

I won't comment on an infantryman drinking white wine; of course, I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain either   ;D

It was free.  Need I go on???