Im in desperate need. Please HELP

[Lou]

I know to you it seems like your LIFE is about to end, like maybe you should slash your wrists or something, but to me it just sounds like you need to get a flippin grip!  :

My sympathy is with your poor boyfriend who probably hasn't figured out yet what a clingy, insecure, immature, stalker-in-the-making you are.
[/quote]

That was totally uncalled for. I am not asking for any sympathy what so ever from anyone. All my intentions were was to talk to people to ask for advice. I have never dated somebody in the army. This is all new to me. Like others said this is not Dr.Phil, yeah your right. thaught somebody on here would have a little respect and give some advice. And thanks to the ones who did.  And then I have people like you telling me that maybe i should slash my wrists, to get a grip, and that you have sympathy for my boyfriend. You have no right to say the things you did. Perhaps your jelous?? I don't know. But usually when you are in LOVE you want to be together. I think your the one being immatue here and that maybe you need to do a little growing up yourself. You feel like you need to offend others for the sake of making you feel better? Is that it? I don't know. But i think you need to "get a grip"

 

[Booked_Spice]

okay....

I have watched this thread and Lou you are right no one should call you down or degrade your questions. This section is for the Homefront and you have your right to ask your questions. He I have asked some really dumb ones on this site as well. So please except my apologises because some of the comments were uncalled for.

I believe this is the place to ask your concerns or if you need help. Even is it is a dear Abby site. Then so be it. Because if people do not have any advice or something nice to say they should respect other peoples concerns.

Now with that said. From what I gather you can't get a PMQ but some people have offered excellent advice so try different alternatives. I know the separation is tough.. Hey if I could fly to Kandahar just to be with Hubby, I would be on the next plane. So I understand what you are going through. Is he in Borden for a posting or is it just training? Because if it is just training then you might want to wait it out to see where he is posted to from there. If he is posted then look at an apartment because the Q' s are pretty expensive. But do not get discouraged because there is always a way.

Wow you really are in a desperate situation. However, I'm pretty sure you can get from Calgary to Toronto and then Borden in less than 36 hours, check with AirCanada or WestJet or some other airline.

This is probably the best advice for you. You might not find much sympathy for your situation here. Most of the people here are military and they have dealt with much more desperate situations than yours. I know to you it seems like your LIFE is about to end, like maybe you should slash your wrists or something, but to me it just sounds like you need to get a flippin grip!  :

My sympathy is with your poor boyfriend who probably hasn't figured out yet what a clingy, insecure, immature, stalker-in-the-making you are.

Now Navcomm, this is unacceptable. I am a military spouse and not a CF member but I have always thought when anyone is in need related to the CF family we should try to help each other out. I personally was offended by these comments and they were not called for. Furthermore, I have felt more sympathy on this site for my own personal situation then I have found on other spouses site.

Please mods if I am wrong, tell me so, but this section is for all concerns of spouses/ fiances /BF.Gf and parents. Every question should be respected and people should not be insulted.

That is my 2 cents

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Quote from NavComm,
I know to you it seems like your LIFE is about to end, like maybe you should slash your wrists or something, but to me it just sounds like you need to get a flippin grip! 

My sympathy is with your poor boyfriend who probably hasn't figured out yet what a clingy, insecure, immature, stalker-in-the-making you are.

Navcomm,
Consider this your friendly neighborhood warning........lighten up, ladette.

 

[Lou]

Thanks for the 2 cents Booked. I don't mind hearing people's opinions about what I have posted. But cummon that was a little harsh. I thaught this site was about offering advice, telling everyone what going on in the "army life" or in the world. Whatever it may be. I relalize this site in "Army.ca" and not Dear Abby, but im not asking for anyones sympathy or to have pity on me. All I wanted was a little help on the PMQ thing. I geuss it's nothing DESPERATE but its hard. But anyways, thanks to the people that actually gave some advice and had a little respect and not telling me that I should slit my wrists and that im immature and insecure, and soon to be stalker. Me and my boyfriend have found a way to be together and everythings working out really well and it's been smooth sailing so far. I plan to be there in a couple months. So thanks again.

 

[Booked_Spice]

Lou,

I am very glad that you figured out stuff and that you guys can be together. Please remember no matter what questions you have just post them away. This is what the Home Front is all about. I know what it is like to be new to the mililtary Life. By the way,yours was actually good question.You should see the questions I ask. ;D

So welcome to Army.ca and I hope you find this site as enjoyable as I have.

Take care

 

[FastEddy]

Quote from NavComm,
I know to you it seems like your LIFE is about to end, like maybe you should slash your wrists or something, but to me it just sounds like you need to get a flippin grip! 

My sympathy is with your poor boyfriend who probably hasn't figured out yet what a clingy, insecure, immature, stalker-in-the-making you are.

Navcomm,
Consider this your friendly neighborhood warning........lighten up, ladette.

Bruce I don't think that  "Lou" read and interpreted "NavComm's" quote correctly or your-self.

It opens recognizing her desperation to the point that  she might be considering slitting her wrists. At no point does she suggest she should slit her wrists. "Navcomm" goes on further to suggest, that what ever, she should get a grip on herself.

NavComm goes on to amiably then suggest several modes of transportation that might be of some assistance. And again being reasonably sympathetic advises that nothing is as bad as it seems even to the point of considering to Slitting her wrists.

NavComm continues to point out that she might not receive to much sympathy here, which is very possibly the case.

As for "NavComm's" closing remark, it only hinted at a possibility of future behavior. Which IMO now, seems a very likely possibility. I might also point out that "NavComm" is a serving CFM and Female, who might just have a greater insight than you or I.

Although from time to time, it might be necessary for a Member to enlist the Services of a MOD, still running to the Teacher because you've misread something or are offended with a opinion does seems a bit needy.

 

[HItorMiss]

Fast Eddy

At what point did you feel the need to interject in a situation that had already been resolved by the mods and the members at large?

Are you so intrested in the goings on here that even the littlest fight you find must be continued for fighting sake? Please relax and butt out, NavComm was told politely to soften her approach or reproach and that was that, If other members find issue with a post and reports it to a Mod then it gets checked out, and we all have the right to report anything we want to a Mod it's their job to decide if it warrants action or not. They don't need your input on wethere you found it offensive or not.

for the record I also found NavComm's comments out of line, but since I'm not a spouse and not the person it was directed to or even involved in the conversation I just watched to see where it was all going.

Sorry Bruce I know you don't need me backing any of the Mod's up but that post by Eddy was IMO just meant to be inflammatory and continue on with a dead issue.

now Lou I hope everything was resolved for you and I wish you luck in whatever course of action your choose.

 

[Thompson_JM]

Bruce I don't think that  "Lou" read and interpreted "NavComm's" quote correctly or your-self.

then i guess that makes three since i found it to be harsh as well...

It opens recognizing her desperation to the point that  she might be considering slitting her wrists. At no point does she suggest she should slit her wrists. "Navcomm" goes on further to suggest, that what ever, she should get a grip on herself.

Lou made no reference earlier of doing so... nav comm is putting words into lou's mouth...

NavComm goes on to amiably then suggest several modes of transportation that might be of some assistance. And again being reasonably sympathetic advises that nothing is as bad as it seems even to the point of considering to Slitting her wrists.

yes but she could at least try and point this out tactfully... im sure you can understand the need to be tactfull in your responses to the civilian populous... which lou happens to be....

NavComm continues to point out that she might not receive to much sympathy here, which is very possibly the case.

which nav comm has shown that for her it is a word in the dictionary between Shite and syphallis

As for "NavComm's" closing remark, it only hinted at a possibility of future behavior. Which IMO now, seems a very likely possibility.

And was entirely innapropriate...  had she made that remark to a civilian while she was in uniform she could be facing extra duties or a possible 129er.... by talking like that she did nothing to represent the CF in a positive light.

I might also point out that "NavComm" is a serving CF Member and Female, who might just have a greater insight than you or I.

Gender shouldnt mean anything here... I know lots of guys who cried during basic and other courses from being away from their families.... Stress doesnt come with a gender...  Also NavComm hasnt been in very long... nor do we know her personal situation either... I know a few CF Mbrs who joined so they could get away from wherever they came from... Not to imply NavComm joined to run away from problems.... but see what happens when people say things without knowing?

Although from time to time, it might be necessary for a Member to enlist the Services of a MOD, still running to the Teacher because you've misread something or are offended with a opinion does seems a bit needy.

exactly. however this was not the case.... NavComm made an inapropriate post which IIRC did not fit within the conduct guidelines... not enough to warrant an intro to the warning system, but enough to get a gentle reminder to mind her words as she is representing the CF here nonetheless... 

and having been on this site for a couple years ive noticed that 99% of the time the MODS are bang on with their assesments of the situation...  this was no exception.

Lastly.. this is the home front. where there are alot of posts by civilian members, spouses and freinds and family of CF Mbrs.. they are civilians, and as such have the freedom to not have to be as tough and thick skinned as you must be... 

to use an example from page 1, paracowboy responded to this with a much more tactfull response saying the same message NavComm did... except he knew he was talking to a civilian who isnt expected to just suck it up....

IMHO you and NavComm are both wrong. and it would seem that others also feel this way too....

you dont have to start hug sessions here... just play nice with the civies.. thats all....

- josh


--- Edit -----

HoM posted at the same time i did.... 

same thing he said though, I know the Mods dont need Backup, but this hit a nerve with me as well...

Lou, keep asking questions if you need answers... we are all pretty freindly and will do our best to help.... but it does help if one searches first before asking, since it may already be covered elsewhere on the site!! Cheers!

also
with the situation resolved this should probabbly be locked...

 

[HItorMiss]

+1 on the locked.

 

[Lou]

Thanks everyone for backing me up. But what was said was said. I found it to be very uncalled for and just down right rude. But it's over now. We have all had our input, and most likely came to a conlusion that it wasn't the best way to approach the situation. Yeah you are right.... some of us civi's just can't take a brual beating like that. Take it easy on us . But anyways, Lets just get on with things and help each other out in a mature manner. I have figured out some things and have realized alot of things about what people have suggested and I was never in DESPERATE need. What Para said...thats desperate. I just wanted some tips and advice, and I got that and now it's over. Im on my way to Ontario to be with him. Thanks to you guys!!! 
Oh....and since im a newbie on here some of you have suggested locking this since it's been resolved ( which I might add again that it HAS). How do I do that and why should I do that?

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

[1]You can't,...I just did.
[2] Because your question has been answered, and apparently, solved.
[3] Good luck.