Girlfriends

[FightingIrish]

does anyone else out there have a girlfriend/ significant other who hates the army. my gf hates the army and me being in it. shes even gone so far as to say that if i go away anywhere she dosnt want to be with me. i dont know what to do and everyone i going to say i sound like a love sick puppy but i am really torn. anyone ese out there have this problem or anyone got advice.

 

[zipperhead_cop]

Depends on what you care more about.  Her or your career.  Whatever you decide, you have to live with.  If she is some sort of hippie chick that is against the military, maybe you can educate her.  But if she is too keyed up about the idea of you being in harms way, that may be a deal breaker. 
If you ditch the military, will she give you everything that you will always need?  Is she bluffing?  All things you need to deal with.  You probably know the answer already, so just smash on. 
You could also just avoid the topic of deployment, and delay the situation?  Just a few thoughts.

Zipperhead_Phil 

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Tell her to hit the road or instead, you can enjoy being her lapdog for a few more years until she finds someone else she can make those kind of whiny threats to......

Moderator_Phil

 

[The Bread Guy]

Go with what yer gut tells you.  What yer gut REALLY tells you.

 

[Springroll]

does anyone else out there have a girlfriend/ significant other who hates the army. my gf hates the army and me being in it. shes even gone so far as to say that if i go away anywhere she dosnt want to be with me. i dont know what to do and everyone i going to say i sound like a love sick puppy but i am really torn. anyone ese out there have this problem or anyone got advice.

Well, FightingIrish, this sounds typical of being 17 and "in love". 

The choice is ultimately yours, but as I am sure many people have experienced, "love" at 17 doesn't last. It would probably be easier on you to break up with her and worry about your career for some time before getting involved again. Then when you feel ready to move on, look for a girl who will support you no matter what you do.

I have been lucky with ym husband being as supportive of me joining as with anything else I have ventured on to do...and to be realistic, if he didn't support me, we probably wouldn't be together. Support of each other is extremely important in a relationship, and if it isn't there, would you want to waste your time in that relationship?

I hope this helps clears the path for you a bit.

 

[patt]

I've seen your from barrie what school do you attend?

anyways back on topic..

i have a Girlfriend shes only 17 and im 19. im in the process of joining right now she doesnt like the idea much (she isnt an anti-war hippie) she doesnt like the fact i could get hurt but She supports my idea because she knows its something i really want to do. ive talked to her many times about it and shes seemed to ease off a bit.

 

[Red 6]

Irish- I saw more Soldiers than I could count during my career who had girl troubles over their service. I will say one thing that I hope you take to the bank- relationships are built on acceptance. If she won't accept you and your status as a Soldier, than that's her problem, not yours. Be honest with her and explain where you're coming from. Hopefully, she'll understand and recognize how important the Army is to you. If she doesn't, it's for her to sort out. 

 

[Jaxson]

Go with what yer gut tells you.  What yer gut REALLY tells you.

Make sure its your gut and not another lower body organ.

 

[paracowboy]

you want to be a soldier. That demonstrates something about your personality. Not what you want to do, but rather, what you ARE right now. She can't accept that, she doesn't accept you. She's trying to control your behaviour now, imagine in 10 years.

Do you want to look back in 15 years, having gone through (on average) 2 serious relationships, several crap relationships, and a marriage (either successful or failed) and wonder if you would have had the parts to soldier?

 

[Armymedic]

Are you too ugly to met other girls? Socially inept, perhaps? You live in Petawawa?

Then there is no good reason why you have to stay with that particular girlfriend. Currently 51% of the earths population is made up of females. If the one you are with doesn't like the person you are, particularly at your age, then it is time to find someone who does like you for who you are.

If she loves you, then she will tolerate some sacrifices so that you can do what you like to do...If she can't ,then I question her suitability for you.

BTW, between 17 and when I met my wife at 25, I had the privilege to meeting many wonderful (and some quite forgetable) women. Don't limit yourself just yet.

 

[GAP]

Para is right...it's about control. If she is not going to support you now, how much support is there going to be later when there is another issue? Your choice.

 

[Red 6]

you want to be a soldier. That demonstrates something about your personality. Not what you want to do, but rather, what you ARE right now. She can't accept that, she doesn't accept you. She's trying to control your behaviour now, imagine in 10 years.

Do you want to look back in 15 years, having gone through (on average) 2 serious relationships, several crap relationships, and a marriage (either successful or failed) and wonder if you would have had the parts to soldier?

Amen to that, brother!  :gunner:

 

[Rice0031]

You know, you could always go gay and then all your girlfriend troubles would melt away.
But then that might open a whole slew of other issues.

Man, at your age, worrying about girls really isn't much of a big deal. Concentrate on living your life the way you see fit right now. Worry about women later in life. There will be plenty of time for it. And like everyone else said, if she doesn't support you now, who says she will support you on other issues in the future?

 

[Kat Stevens]

If you roll over on this one, you may as well roll all the way over right now and let her drive.  If you give in once, the same bullcrap will happen every time you disagree, and you will end up whipped beyond your wildest dreams.... Sound off like you've got a pair,  there are plenty of girls out there, very few careers as satisfying as ours.....Carry on  .

 

[jmnavy]

I'm in a similar situation.  My gf's father was in the army and she hated the military life growing up.  She and I met while I was in the process of transferring from the reserves to reg force. She knew from day 1 what I was planning and I knew how she felt so we're both walking away from the relationship when I leave for botc on Friday.  She's an amazing girl, we just didn't meet under the right circumstances.  That's life.  Choose the path you want to take, then find someone who'll walk it with you.

 

[Armymedic]

She knew from day 1 what I was planning and I knew how she felt so we're both walking away from the relationship when I leave for botc on Friday.

I had a GF whom I never seen nor heard from again after the night before I left for my first tour....

In our line of work, occasionally that needs to be done.

 

[karl28]

FightingIrish
                Hey believe this  in life you  want a good career and the fact that you can do that at an early age with the CF take it . I would recommend  forgeting the girl there are lots out there but there are very few good careers . Another way to look  at it lets say that you told the girl to take hike and you joined full time CF  your 17 so lets say you join at 18  20 years from now your 38 and in a postion to retire with a Full pention very few people can say that in life . Just look at my profile you don't want to be doing what I am doing when your 30 . Chances are that  skirt your with now wont be there in three years  but if you join up the CF will be good luck with your decision

 

[TMM]

I won't sugar coat it: Anyone who tells you, before you go away,  that they won't be around when you come back isn't worth coming back to.

17 is young  - the age of piss and vinegar. Go off, do your training, live life, and if after that you two still have feelings for each other, give it a go if the feelings are still there.

 

[Pea]

Choose the path you want to take, then find someone who'll walk it with you.

This line really stuck out to me.  She can't walk beside you if she isn't willing to support you in everything (reasonable) you want to do. Go for your career, and let love follow afterwards. Believe me, life sure changes after 17. I recently hit 20 and am very grateful I went for school/career and not my highschool sweetheart now. You have to be happy in your life (ie career) before you can worry about making a partner happy too. Good luck to you, I know parting with someone you love isn't easy on any circumstance.

 

[JBP]

Everything these people are saying is right. I know you may not want to hear that right now but if you don't do what will truly make you happy you'll end up like me possibly...

I had my offer for Reg Force Infantry at 19... I said no because I fell in love with a girl who I thought was 'the one' and decided I'd try a different career path... Now I'm 25 as of this summer, she broke up with me in May after all that time (almost 5 years and 1 year of engagements). I have joined the Reserves but I could have had already almost 6 years of my career started!!!

It's almost never too late, so 25 isn't a biggy, but it just goes to show you that you have to do what truly makes you happy in first. YOU ARE FIRST - not someone else. Took me a long time to learn that, take heed of what we all say and join up! I promise you 6 years down the road you will not regret you're decision. You cannot help someone else without first helping yourself. Do yourself the largest favour you'll ever do!

Non Nobis Sed Patriae!!! - Not For Ourselves, But For Our Country!!!