Funny fake blank PER form

[honestyrules]

Hi all!

I'm trying to find this funny document. It's a fake blank PER form, really well made, looks like the original, with out-to-lunch comments and options on.
I'm sure some of you seen it. I lost it and would like to have it back!!!

Please help me!

 

[TCBF]

- Try reading my last thirty.

 

[kincanucks]

- Try reading my last thirty.

Thanks for that.

 

[cavalryman]

- Try reading my last thirty.

I think delavan is looking for comedy, not tragedy  8)

 

[honestyrules]

LOL!

I assume you folks didn't see this! Anyway, if somebody has it, it's a good read!

 

[TCBF]

I think delavan is looking for comedy, not tragedy  8)

- Comedy for me.  Tragedy for my employers.

8)

 

[honestyrules]

TCBF,
What's so wrong with the fact that I posted in the OFF topic section(not to bother the well thinking people like you?)to ask for this? Tragedy for my employer (the CF)?

Not sure if you just tried to be funny or something, but I just asked. No bad intends. Sorry for bothering you WO. The thing is that one FORGED document was funny and I just tried to retreive it...sorry for asking. Wish I had the wisdom of a forum member with 2863 posts!

 

[Journeyman]

Sorry for bothering you WO. ....Wish I had the wisdom of a forum member with 2863 posts!

Then you would likely have refrained from posting at all; even if you didn't get the obvious humour, it couldn't have been taken as a personal affront, so you would have seen no reason to respond.



Oh, and there's no rank in here.

 

[TCBF]

- Comedy for me.  Tragedy for my employers.

8)

-  I  was refering to me in my above  post, in response to cavalryman's post here:

I think delavan is looking for comedy, not tragedy  8)

- He was refering to my PERs, not somone else's, in response to my post which he quoted.
- Ironic how a thread on humourous PERs can create friction



 

 

[Kat Stevens]

Just like family reunions, this place runs great until someone says "what did you mean by that?"   

 

[TCBF]

Just like family reunions, ...

... and blind dates... 8)

...this place runs great until someone says "what did you mean by that?"   

 

[Journeyman]

You find blind dates at family reunions funny? Is that some kind of slag of my trailer park......bitch. 

(it's another joke -- just to pre-empt any wringing of hands or gnashing of teeth  : )

 

[navymich]

... or gnashing of teeth  : )

JM, are you still able to gnash your teeth while they're sitting in a glass of water on the counter?!?! 

 

[Old Sweat]

You find blind dates at family reunions funny? Is that some kind of slag of my trailer park......*****. 

It's both genetically and socially preferable to going there to pick up chicks.

 

[MP 811]

Just like family reunions, this place runs great until someone says "what did you mean by that?"   

what the hell was that suppose to mean??.........

 

[Haggis]

Wow.... did this one ever spiral fast!

Tom, you're one of those "personalities" for whom the CFPAS word picture book just doesn't work, eh?!

Ever had the word "unique" used in your PER?

 

[tomahawk6]

Here's a UK OER.

British OER Standards
The British Military writes OFRs (Officer Fitness Reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S-206 and these are actual excerpts.

1. His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.

2. I would not breed from this officer.

3. This officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.

4. When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.

5. He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.

6. He would be out of his depth in a car park puddle.

7. Technically sound, but socially impossible.

8. This officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.

9.This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

10. When he joined my ship, this officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.

11. Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.

12. She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

13. He has the wisdom of youth and the energy of old age.

14. This officer should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.

15. In my opinion, this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.

16. The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.

17. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap. (This one is a keeper.)

18. This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (Runner-up)

 

[Michael OLeary]

See the Staff College Course Report form on page 4 of this newsletter.

 

[tomahawk6]

Here is a few more  ;D

The following are actual lines out of Officer Efficiency Reports or OER's (performance appraisals) for the military:

1. Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
2. Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
3. A room temperature IQ.
4. Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
5. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
6. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
7. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
8. Bright as Alaska in December.
9. One-celled organisms out score him in IQ tests.
10. Donated his body to science before he was done using it.
11. Fell out of the family tree.
12. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
13. Has two brains; one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
14. He's so dense, light bends around him.
15. If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
16. If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
17. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change.
18. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
19. It's hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
20. One neuron short of a synapse.
21. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
22. Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
23. Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

 

[TCBF]

... Ever had the word "unique" used in your PER?

- For me, the Kiss Of Death was the word "outspoken".