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Forced to pay / belong to a mess [Merged]

KnuckleHead

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Hello everybody, I am new here and this is my first post.  I am sure this topic has come up before, sorry if it has.

Anyways, I have been searching the CFAO's to find out if  a member has to pay for a mess dinner.  The mess dinner is a parade and all MUST attend, so how can they make us pay for it?

Great site and thanks for any help.
 
KnuckleHead said:
Hello everybody, I am new here and this is my first post.  I am sure this topic has come up before, sorry if it has.

Anyways, I have been searching the CFAO's to find out if  a member has to pay for a mess dinner.  The mess dinner is a parade and all MUST attend, so how can they make us pay for it?

Great site and thanks for any help.

Welcome to the way things work.......pay the bill, have a nice dinner,

Most units have things that need to be done while people are at the mess dinner....usualy they are unpleasant jobs............your choice  ;D
 
Welcome to life as an officer. Mess kit must also be purchased within 6 months of getting your commission, according to the CF Dress Instructions, and yes, you have to pay for it yourself.
 
I had to buy a white shirt and bow tie last night, this dinner has set me back $70 so far.  As for the meal, I will not be eating it, I have good food at home.
 
aesop081 said:
Welcome to the way things work.......pay the bill, have a nice dinner,

Most units have things that need to be done while people are at the mess dinner....usualy they are unpleasant jobs............your choice  ;D

I should have mentioned the dinner is at 1930 tonight, there is no getting out.
 
Mess dinners, as a subbie, are an opportunity to have a lot of fun, and to see and interact with your superiors in a social context.

They are to be celebrated, not avoided.

Pay your money, suck it up, and have a good time.

DG
 
KnuckleHead said:
I had to buy a white shirt and bow tie last night, this dinner has set me back $70 so far.  As for the meal, I will not be eating it, I have good food at home.

My experiences with mixed dining ins (a mess dinner with the missus as far as I understand the distinction!) indicates that you have gotten off easy if it only has cost you $70!!! ;D

I am not diminishing the hit on your pockey book.  $70 is $70 and it sucks if you didn't want to spend it.  Just keep in mind that you won't have to pay for the white shirt and bow tie for the next one!  Small consolation, I know and I have no doubt you won't be eager for the next one to arrive either.

In any event, put on the bib and tucker and have a good time.  It's not like you have a choice about going... and don't forget that any idiot can be miserable!
 
KnuckleHead said:
I should have mentioned the dinner is at 1930 tonight, there is no getting out.

It's up to you whether or not you want to eat it but you will stay have to pay for it.

Go there, enjoy yourself and have a good time. Enjoy the traditions!
 
$70 is not much, however, my wife and I are expecting our first baby in a couple months, so that $70 could be spent on baby stuff, not a new shirt for me. 

They can make me go but they cannot make me enjoy it.
 
KnuckleHead said:
I had to buy a white shirt and bow tie last night, this dinner has set me back $70 so far.  As for the meal, I will not be eating it, I have good food at home.

Migh as well eat it as you have already  paied for it.  you are just going to end up looking like some pig-headed bonehaed who's doing it out of spite.  We have very few traditions that are exercise on a regular basis and the mess dinner is one of them.  I have always had a good time at them.  

KnuckleHead said:
$70 is not much, however, my wife and I are expecting our first baby in a couple months, so that $70 could be spent on baby stuff, not a new shirt for me. 

That i can understand.

They can make me go but they cannot make me enjoy it.

Well, look at it this way, you shelled out money and you are going to be there, might as well have a good time.
 
I had to buy a white shirt and bow tie last night, this dinner has set me back $70 so far.  As for the meal, I will not be eating it, I have good food at home.

If you're throwing your teddy bear (heh) into the corner over buying a shirt and tie, you'll be ripping its arms off when you go to buy mess kit - as you will.  Welcome to the Canadian Forces, sunshine - attendance at mess dinners are a century(+)-old tradition that comes with being an officer (or senior NCO, for that matter).

My advice?  If your statements over something as simple as a dinner reflect your overall attitude, it speaks very poorly of your future as a commissioned officer.  Suck it up, carry on and (as others have said) be thankful that you're getting off easy cost-wise.  Otherwise, I'm sure you know where the exit door is.
 
KnuckleHead said:
$70 is not much, however, my wife and I are expecting our first baby in a couple months, so that $70 could be spent on baby stuff, not a new shirt for me. 

They can make me go but they cannot make me enjoy it.

$70 is a lot of money!  I guess what I was trying to say, in my less than deft fashion -- was that it is only going to get worse... but atleast for next time you will already have the shirt and bow tie!

Hell, with a baby coming there are TONS of places that you could put $70... doesn't mean you can't have a little fun, though. ;)
 
KnuckleHead said:
They can make me go but they cannot make me enjoy it.

Wow. Keep that attitude up & you will find a hard time fitting in.
 
KnuckleHead said:
$70 is not much, however, my wife and I are expecting our first baby in a couple months, so that $70 could be spent on baby stuff, not a new shirt for me. 

They can make me go but they cannot make me enjoy it.

Mr Stick, meet Mr Mud... Mud, meet Mr Stick.  Look on the bright side, at least you're sitting down eating it, not running yer arse off serving it...Hey, there's a thread topic in that somewhere.... >:D
 
$70.00 can be a lot of money to fork over but it's cheaper than a new career.
 
Just make sure you hit the bathroom before the last pipe into the dining area...you won't be able to go without ridicule after that.

Enjoy the endless glasses of wine...

And as a subby, you will be expected to help "pollish off" the port...so consider yourself warned.

You will hate your first couple of mess dinners, especially if you are still not fully trained as you will feel out of place and only their to help subsidize the cost for the other more senior officers. Such is life in the CF.

I have witnessed my husband transform from the reluctant subby who hates mess dinners to one who doesn't mind going (it took four years to get to that point) and eventually he will move to the "kinda liking it" category.

Best of luck...

Have a glass of wine for me!

PS>And trust me, I know where you are coming from on this one. Hubby and I were expected to attend a Regimental Ball just four weeks after the birth of my daughter. I still had stitches from the C-Section, and couldn't find a "lactating babysitter", that night I happened to come down with the worst migrane ever. Hubby didn't go, but we still had to pay for it...and he got his dick slapped as well...all in all, not worth the effort of not going or kicking up a fuss.
 
70 bucks for a shirt and bow tie that will last you the next 10 years is expensive? Me thinks not. Unless of course you find a way to destroy that shirt, but destroying shirts at mess dinners means that you were probably having fun, something you don't sound too interested in having.

I've got to go get a new shirt today for the RCAF dinner tomorrow night. This is will be my third shirt because of two wicked mess dinners that I attended, one was my wings grad and the other was back in Nov. On the bright side, I have buddies that are on their 2nd or 3rd pair of pants after the knees were worn out from commando missions under the tables.
 
I am not totally bent out of shape over this.  The military has been good to me, mostly.  

I am not an officer either, maybe I sounded like one but I am a NCM.
 
Inch,

I vaguely recall that November mess diner. I was wondering if you were able to wash the twigs and leaves out.
 
Bograt said:
Inch,

I vaguely recall that November mess diner. I was wondering if you were able to wash the twigs and leaves out.

That sounds like a fun mess dinner.
 
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